snowcones Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Looking for the male perspective on this. (I already know how females feel) When a guy comes back wanting a second chance, is it ALWAYS because he just wants easy sex? Is there EVER any other reason a guy comes back for another pass? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 And someone to cook and do his laundry sometimes or to save money. Usually it's for his convenience. I'm being a little snarky here. I realize there must be times it has to do with something sincere. There's a few sincere guys on LS, so I know they're out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 18 hours ago, preraph said: And someone to cook and do his laundry sometimes ....... I always cooked better than the ex... but yep... Laundry was #1 !! LOL. OK... I've never wanted a second chance... once the relationship was officially over. Yes... while my exW was going nutz... I was trying to figure out what the hell happened, and was trying to figure out how to fix it... but eventually... when the paperwork was started... it was done. (no looking back, and the faster she left the better) In my early years... when I was dating... there was 2 girls I tried to get to change their minds during the break up... but it's because there was no reason (That I saw) for the break up. One was a long relationship... and I found out after, she was cheating on me. And the other was a short relationship... and I was basically the rebound. (She went back to her fiancée) Obviously... neither girl wanted to fix it, and neither had a real reason to break it off. BUT... as I already said... I've never wanted anyone back after. First... the trust is gone, and second... why would I want to put myself through that again? I really don't see sex as the motivation. There are a lot of girls out there if you just want to F**k. Heck... OLD seems to be full of that. So... where am I going with this?? The reasons a guy would want a second chance are the same as why a girl would want a second chance. And... there are literally thousands of reasons out there... one of them could be they were truly in love, and know they messed up. My 2 cents... take it for what it's worth. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 Well it's a bit of a misnomer to say someone wants a second chance to get back together for sex, but one of the most common things on the face of the Earth is that men who are exes tend to come back around and see if you'll still sleep with them after a breakup and especially once they find out you're seeing someone else. They want to leave thinking you are pining after them and alone and lonely. 😄 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 4, 2020 Author Share Posted June 4, 2020 2 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: So... where am I going with this?? The reasons a guy would want a second chance are the same as why a girl would want a second chance. And... there are literally thousands of reasons out there... one of them could be they were truly in love, and know they messed up. My 2 cents... take it for what it's worth. I happen to agree with you 100%, but men in particular (which is why I made the thread directed at them), are always the ones to say that the reason why an ex wants back with a woman is just because he wants sex. Hell, they'll even say the reason why a man wants to date a woman in any circumstance is just for sex. Like, there is no other possible reason. I wanted the guys to weigh in on this more. The ex who wants back situation in particular. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, snowcones said: I but men in particular, are always the ones to say that the reason why an ex wants back with a woman is just because he wants sex. Hell, they'll even say the reason why a man wants to date a woman in any circumstance is just for sex. Like, there is no other possible reason. I wanted the guys to weigh in on this more. The ex who wants back situation in particular. OK... sure... I get it. I'm a guy, and I really enjoy sex. AND... I know several guys who are "Hound Dogs" (just on the prowl for sex) But those kinds of guys aren't normally in a relationship for long... always looking for the next conquest. So, they aren't the type looking to get back with an ex... unless they are just in a dry spell. To the point of "The only reason to date a woman is sex"... well... there is truth to that. The question here is... "Why do we date at all?" The reason is to reproduce. That's really the BIOLOGICAL meaning of life... just continue the cycle. We have sex because it feels good. We find partners to have sex with. Let's face it... if it was gross, painful, and unpleasant... we wouldn't have sex. (sorry for the philosophy) Before we had reasoning... pleasure is primal, and gets us to do something again. Biology is neat that way... why do you think high calorie things taste good... and poisonous things taste bad to us? It's to keep use alive. But to that point... I know plenty of girls that are the same way. (want a lot of sex and not keep a partner) so to say "Men in particular, are always the ones to say that the reason why an ex wants back with a woman is just because he wants sex." is just wrong, and an assumption. In all my years of being a guy (47) and hanging out with all my guy friends... and seeing all of their relationships over the years... I can say with 100% clarity that not a single one of them wanted a second chance because of wanting sex. Like I said... there is always another girl for that. To have a real relationship takes more than that anyway. For full disclosure... I have one friend who broke up with his GF (currently wife) a couple times... and always wanted her back. It wasn't just sex... as he would date, and be with other girls (college days) but eventually... they would get back together. So there is more to it other than just sex. FYI... I think they have been together close to 27 years... and married 20. Edited June 4, 2020 by Blind-Sided 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 4, 2020 Author Share Posted June 4, 2020 I guess it's just beyond their comprehension that they might LOVE a woman aside from her sexuality. Never any mention of that in any way. It's almost as if the concept never enters their mind. Almost as if they can't love or are incapable of love. I'm starting to believe that men can't love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 (edited) You're making some pretty significant sweeping generalizations about men, OP. (And I'm a woman) Surely you know, realistically, that not all men everywhere only come back for sex. I don't know which guys you're hanging around that are filling your head with these falsehoods, but they're off-base. Do some men go back just for sex? Sure. All? No. Not even close. Edited June 5, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 13 hours ago, snowcones said: I'm starting to believe that men can't love. Well... it sounds like you were jaded... and with comments like that, I guess you really aren't open to an actual debate. I'm also guessing this post is just to see if you can get your point validated. Sorry that you feel this way... but because you do... that feeling will flow out, and keep a positive relationship from forming. I can say this... women who use sex as a tool to trap, and keep a man... well... those will be the kinds of girls who get an ex coming back only for sex because the guy knows she's "Easy"... and they can get what they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 5, 2020 Author Share Posted June 5, 2020 8 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: Well... it sounds like you were jaded... and with comments like that, I guess you really aren't open to an actual debate. I'm also guessing this post is just to see if you can get your point validated. Sorry that you feel this way... but because you do... that feeling will flow out, and keep a positive relationship from forming. I can say this... women who use sex as a tool to trap, and keep a man... well... those will be the kinds of girls who get an ex coming back only for sex because the guy knows she's "Easy"... and they can get what they want. All your last post talked about is sex. JS. What is there to debate about then? I was hoping some men would come and say something NOT about sex. That is why I made this thread. But that didn't happen. Silly hopes. Occasionally, I still have them but they ALWAYS get dashed. I never said I use sex to trap a man. I'm not having sex at all. I got out of the game altogether because I get absolutely no joy out of it if men can't love or be romantic. What is the point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 5, 2020 Author Share Posted June 5, 2020 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: I don't know which guys you're hanging around that are filling your head with these falsehoods..... All of them. At least the single ones, which are the only ones I'm interested in paying attention to and hearing their opinion. Some married guys are great and treat their wives good, but they are taken already. So irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 On 6/3/2020 at 11:48 AM, snowcones said: When a guy comes back wanting a second chance, is it ALWAYS because he just wants easy sex? I can only speak for myself... for me the answer is "YES"!! That being said, I've only tried to get back with 2 women and that was in my youth. As I aged and got wiser, I learned it was easier to just start dating someone new. I have had a few women attempt to come back to me (after they dumped me), but for the most part whatever problems broke us up were still there and the "second run" never really worked out. I can only think of one instance where a woman asked me to come back to her (after she dumped me) that kind of worked out - long story, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 15 hours ago, snowcones said: All your last post talked about is sex. JS. What is there to debate about then? I was hoping some men would come and say something NOT about sex. That is why I made this thread. But that didn't happen. Silly hopes. Occasionally, I still have them but they ALWAYS get dashed. I never said I use sex to trap a man. I'm not having sex at all. I got out of the game altogether because I get absolutely no joy out of it if men can't love or be romantic. What is the point? You are right. There was no "Debate" in my last post. It was a statement. But on my first 2 posts... there was open discussion. But your responses to my other posts were "Hell, they'll even say the reason why a man wants to date a woman in any circumstance is just for sex" and "I guess it's just beyond their comprehension that they might LOVE a woman aside from her sexuality." In those posts... you were simply pushing your agenda, and not listening to what a "Guy" has to say on the subject. Now... maybe your "Hopes" on this subject would have been fulfilled, and would have gotten more responses on the subject, if this wasn't obviously being led to one side. Sorry... just calling it like I see it. As always... just my 2 cents... take it for what it's worth. And have a great Saturday. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 I don't think men who want second chances are necessarily looking for sex, but guys who want to be "friends" with exes are the ones who are often just looking for sex. Study a few years ago found that women who want to be friends with exes, just want to be friends whereas the men seeking "friendship" were often just really looking for sex. But nothing is 100%. I am sure there are men out there who are bfs with their ex and are not even contemplating sex... Men want second chances for all sorts of different reasons and one of them IS likely love. Plenty lovesick guys on the break up forum who are desperate to get their exes back. Of course there are always chancers who will hang around the ex knowing she is heartbroken and he will promise her the earth for easy sex, but if a guy has dumped you, then maybe it is best to question his motives rather than just assume he loves you and jump into bed... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 6, 2020 Author Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: Now... maybe your "Hopes" on this subject would have been fulfilled, and would have gotten more responses on the subject, if this wasn't obviously being led to one side. Or maybe......... what I had "hoped" for doesn't really exist. You have a great Saturday too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted June 6, 2020 Author Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: I don't think men who want second chances are necessarily looking for sex, but guys who want to be "friends" with exes are the ones who are often just looking for sex. Study a few years ago found that women who want to be friends with exes, just want to be friends whereas the men seeking "friendship" were often just really looking for sex. But nothing is 100%. I am sure there are men out there who are bfs with their ex and are not even contemplating sex... Men want second chances for all sorts of different reasons and one of them IS likely love. Plenty lovesick guys on the break up forum who are desperate to get their exes back. Of course there are always chancers who will hang around the ex knowing she is heartbroken and he will promise her the earth for easy sex, but if a guy has dumped you, then maybe it is best to question his motives rather than just assume he loves you and jump into bed... I hear you but we are both women. Are we projecting? Will they just not admit it for some mind-boggling reason? (which happened way before I made a thread about it) Why do you think guys never say it's due to love? Serious question. They would call the guys in the breakup forum poor saps who are just having a dry spell. I kinda think it's because each guy wants to make all other guys look bad/like dogs so they can look good and be the one good guy around. I don't know, whatever it is, there's some sort of strange code going on. Edited June 6, 2020 by snowcones Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 I have never actually given any guy a second chance and have never asked for a second chance either, so as far as I m concerned the "problem" doesn't really exist... Once IME a relationship goes as far downhill that it ends up in a split, then it is probably best to just move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 (edited) I kind of miss all my exes from time to time. I know that girls usually say "They relationship was finished, it was time" but I personally I've never felt that way. They way I see it is that people almost never change, so if I was happy for several years with someone, it was obviously a good match. And it's not sex I miss, it's the fun we had, the jokes that only we understood and so on. Edited June 11, 2020 by Kevin_D 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Way too many variables to consider here -- how the relationship started, what it was like, how it ended, who ended it etc. The simple answer to a simple question: Yes, men can want 2nd chances because they're still in love. Link to post Share on other sites
holms Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 No, not always. It really depends on the guy and what you do know about him. To a point I do agree with your original perspective on this. Most guys do think that way and to some it IS all about the sex, but not all. I know I don't. I am currently seeking a second chance with my current ex but it's not about the sex at all. I am an outgoing good looking man that can get sex on my own. No, what I am seeking is my partner and best friend back. I miss her at her core. It's the companionship I want back. The way we seemed to lift each other up in our down times. The little things we did for each other randomly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MR_1991 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 Either most men out there are a**h***s and I’m great at picking out good people to surround myself with or this forum is super jaded... I would like to contact my ex one day to try again if she feels ready then. And I don’t intend to use anyone as a rebound because I don’t like to break anyone’s heart since I’m clearly not over her. But she did say she’d wish I could be cloned coz other girls deserve someone sweet like me 😂 so I recon I did alright. You were together with him so you will know best if his core personality is like that or not 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 Women and Men handle rejection much differently; rejection for a guy is an every day thing, between other men and women, men get rejected multiple times a day, socially, romantically, its just a part of our world... For a woman, rejection can be a life altering event, especially the social consequences of it. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Whether men or women, many go back to the ex, because they are NEEDY. They just hate being alone and want to be loved again. Link to post Share on other sites
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