3 years on and getting lonely....

[Myasylum]

You know... divorce is hard. No doubt about it.

It took me a long time to get out of my funk, but i was much happier 2 years out, then now after 3 years and turning 48... I'm starting to feel that heaviness of being alone. 

    I have had some fun with women at bars,  and it's fun knowing I can still pull it off. By no means am I complaining about that... but nothing seems real.  I still have no one to come home too... and it really seems to be starting to weigh on me. I'm an starting to question myself... is this it? I swear there is no "good girl" to settle down with, and drinking hitting the bars just isn't cutting it any more. I find myself just wanting to stay home,  but then the negative thinking starts creeping in. 

I've tried dating sites and i hate them.  Same thing... messaging the same crap over and over again and it leads to nothing. 

    I just want something real. 

Any advise?

[Blind-Sided]

 I'm not sure what advice I can give... but I understand how you feel.  After my D, I wanted to go out... but I didn't have the energy to just randomly "Date" people.  I'm not a heavy drinker... so meeting someone at a bar wasn't going to work... and I wasn't going to try OLD because of the horror stories.  But, I had several female friends who introduced me to their single friends... and it worked out well.   Maybe that's a path you should look into... asking friends if they know any single girls.

Good luck with your search.

[schlumpy]

Sit down and write out your interests.

Then frequent places and take vacations where those interests occupy.

If you bicycle, there are tours offered for singles. If you enjoy car racing head out to your local track and make an appearance. Join a book club meet-up group if you enjoy literature.

Regularize your schedule so that you take your walks in the park at the same time on the same day.

If you become a familiar figure you will find women will notice or you will notice them.

Don't do the bar scene unless that is your forte. It's very difficult to find something real there. Look for accomplished women that you can admire.

Networking, as suggested by Blind-sided, also is very good.

[d0nnivain]

Once it becomes safe to do so again, get involved in the world.  Participate in something that interests you:  a hobby, a sport, a walking group, an investment club, a for fun class, etc.  Volunteer somewhere doing something you are passionate about:  politics, saving animals, fighting disease, #BLM etc.  Once you engage with the world around you, it will give you an opportunity to meet like minded people & forge a connection.  If you have a career that supports it, go to chamber of commerce events & other entrepreneurial events; do promote your company but also check out the room  I met my husband at a business card exchange.  

Also tell people that you know that you are open to meeting new people.  You never know who knows somebody who will be perfect for you.