Am I an idiot?? opinion please, advice welcome (long)

[turtletatgirl]

So I just joined this forum today because I really need someone to talk to & feel very alone. I 'll give you a lil background on the situation. I broke up with someone 6 weeks ago. I am a girl and so was the person I broke up with. I am not a lesbain, I truly believe I ended up with her because I was hurt by guys, or let myself be hurt I should say because of my low self esteem. I broke up with her because I was not in love with her, we had not been intimate in 2 years, and I wanted to be able to date guys. She took it horribly, which is besides the point. The reason I got the courage to end the relationship was because I met a guy who made me do a "what if..." What if I could date this guy or another guy like him & fall in love & truly be happy? I thought he was sweet & was wildly attracted to him and he made me want to fall in love with someone again. So the problem is, I sorta told him I was into him and he asked me out (like a week after the breakup). We went out and I was on a high, cloud nine. We were emailing every day & it seemed like he was totally into me. He had to go on a trip he had planned a while ago, with his friend and he told me to e-mail him lots. SO I did email a bit and he never e-mailed beck so I kinda wrote him a "I hope you don't have access to e-mail and are not dissing me" sort of email. When he got back from the trip, he told me he didn't have email & said I sounded mad (which I totally downplayed & said I was joking). So anyway, the first day I have off work, I am talking to him & ask him when he wants to get together and he is going on about being tired form work & not having any clean clothes cause he hasn't done laundry since his trip. SO we go out the next day & after about 5 hours, he ends date cause he needs to write (he is a writer). SO I act cool but feel totally blown off, he emails me the next day like everything's cool. I don't email him for a few days & then I email him & tell himI totally feel blown off so I am backing off. I have to see him for a work related matter and he is like "so I got your e-mail & you seemed mad." He's like, basically yes I blew you off for work but I can't handle a girl where I have to worry about her not understanding where work is concerned. He then tells me he is going away for a couple of months for work and basically says, do you want to go out before I go, or is this it? I ask him if he is interested in me, and he says yes. I tell him, if you're not, just be honest & say so & he's like, of course I am. Okay, so he basically knows we won't sleep together before he goes and he is talking like he will see me when he gets back. What is going on, why is he bothering if he is not into me & he's knows we aren't going to have sex?? Of course I know that I should have never have dated so soon after getting out of a r'ship but I thought he was something special. I know it's a good thing that he is going away so I can focus on getting myself togteher & heal. So why am I crying & feeling like garbage???

[brittanyjean259]

you went from one problem, to one problem to another.

 

you need time by your self to heal...because all your failed relationships will bring out so many insecurities!

 

first you really dont know about this mans job so go find out! dont go cry over him you dont really know him yet

 

always be prepeared for the worst though..and be careful...

 

is he going to contact you during those months that he is gone??

[Gold Pile]

Keep him in reserve, use the 2 months to sort yourself out.

 

It's a guy tactic... someone has potential, but not soon. Don't blow her off harsh, you stay pleasant, back off some...date others, but save her to play another day when she's ready.