Is this normal??

[anonymous]

I'm 30, and I don't believe at all in 'soulmates'.

 

I'm also not sure I believe in romantic love. I think romantic love is something our society makes us want to have, but it really doesn't exist.

 

I've been in LTR's, but I still do not believe in this 'love' business. I'm not a cold person.

 

Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one out there who feels this way?

[Tony T]

In fact, almost everything in our personal world is exactly as we believe it...for us. If you don't believe in romantic love, then it will not exist for you. If you don't believe in soulmates, there won't be one out there for you.

 

There is a real, honest to goodness, love that many call romantic love that flares up in our being with the assistance of chemicals, visual assists, etc. that gives us a feeling of incredible well-being. People call that romantic love. It usually hardly ever lasts forever but it's usually strong enough to form a bond which can then transform to a more realistic, companionate love than can take a couple forward for some years.

 

As for soulmates, if you don't believe in them you're a whole lot better off. If you're not busting your butt looking for someone who can mesh into every cell in your body and every part of your soul, you are likely to find someone who can make you extremely happy. As a matter of fact, believing in soulmates can be very hazardous because people set themselves up for serious hurt and pain when they appoint a soulmate...who later turns out to be a sourpuss.

 

Most people would probably feel that a soulmate is someone with whom they are in love or whom they love in some way and with whom they have lots in common. From that perspective, I think even you would accept that person as a soulmate...or whatever you would want to call it.

 

Again, if you find someone you would think is your soulmate, if indeed they exist, there is no scientific way to ensure it isn't just wishful thinking...no way to confirm that any one person is your soulmate. So I guess it just has to be a belief based on feelings and observations.

 

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just a tad more analytical that your average bear and not quite as romantic. But your more realistic view may be what you need to find someone who will be exactly right for you. For those who do believe in romantic love and soulmates, wish them well and let them be happier for that.

 

The great thing about living in free nations is that we can believe or not believe in whatever we want and its OK.

 

I firmly believe I will win the Florida lottery on Saturday night. I used to believe in Santa Claus until I found out he couldn't get clearance for landing on my street.

[Buckeyegal]

Who's to say what's normal? I think we all lose some of that idealistic approach to romance that we had when we were younger. And no, you're not the only one who feels that way. I don't believe in soulmates either, while a loving partner would be welcome, I don't need someone to make feel complete and worthwhile.

[chick]

i don't particularly think anything is wrong with you, and you most definitely wouldn't be the only person that feels this way, but maybe you just haven't been lucky enough to experience real, true, unconditional love yet. call me a hopeless romantic, but i would like to think there is someone out there that i could completely connect with and that i could happily spend the rest of my life with. you may meet someone tomorrow that could knock your socks off and your whole perspective on love might change. although you say you're not a cold person, maybe you just are a little negative in the love department, and as i said before, maybe you just haven't had the experience of being with someone you truly love and connect with yet. you may be quite satisfied to live the rest of your life on your own, but then again....you never know what the future holds.