He is divorcing, but is afraid of his wife finding out about us

[PhoenixRising8]

@Dexterr nowhere did I say that Europeans are neanderthals with 5 brain cells.  I did say that it isn't unusual that the spouse have an OW, sometimes even one who they introduce to the family. If they live abroad, having someone in their new home is not shocking. I have known of such instances personally so I'm not just making this stuff up to insult anyone, merely to give the OP a reality check.  No need to get touchy.

Edited June 8, 2020 by LilKatKat

[Dexterr]

5 minutes ago, LilKatKat said:

@Dexterr nowhere did I say that Europeans are neanderthals with 5 brain cells.  I did say that it isn't unusual that the spouse have an OW, sometimes even one who they introduce to the family. If they live abroad, having someone in their new home is not shocking. I have known of such instances personally so I'm not just making this stuff up to insult anyone, merely to give the OP a reality check.  No need to get touchy.

I just wonder who told you that Eastern Europe is some land with proud cheating aliens habiting it õ.Õ.. But I suppose you know more than the locals. Cheers.

Edited June 8, 2020 by Dexterr

[TheRainbow]

Those are all red flags. They are divorcing, so her opinion shouldn't matter. He's entitled to move on. My guess is he doesn't want his wife to know because he wants to keep her as a plan B.

[SKBabe]

On 6/7/2020 at 9:16 AM, LilKatKat said:

At the risk of sounding like a bigot, this behaviour is cultural. In many European countries, an OW is an open secret. Being originally from that region, I know of what I speak. My own cheating father had an OW "back home" who he would openly "date" in front of family (his, not my step mother's) when he went back for visits. Same thing but in reverse. 

Edited to add that he wasn't the only one I was aware of who did this sort of thing. Not as uncommon as you may think especially when he is abroad and she remains home. 

^^^ What she said, plus and this is even worse: They quite likely see you as a pay check. You said yourself that they lived quite poorly - you are a woman from the West, maybe not rich or even well off to our standards (or maybe you are and that’d be even worse) but I’m their thinking, you’re bloody Bill Gates. 
Please walk away while you can. 

[Zona]

On 6/7/2020 at 8:16 AM, LilKatKat said:

At the risk of sounding like a bigot, this behaviour is cultural. In many European countries, an OW is an open secret. 

I think many Americans have difficulty understanding how different European countries are when it comes to infidelity, divorce, etc.

Something like 60% of French men and women have had a lover outside their marriage by the time they are in their 30's. People just turn a blind eye to those shenanigans because it is so common.

 

 

[sandylee1]

On 6/8/2020 at 2:24 PM, LilKatKat said:

@Dexterr nowhere did I say that Europeans are neanderthals with 5 brain cells.  I did say that it isn't unusual that the spouse have an OW, sometimes even one who they introduce to the family. If they live abroad, having someone in their new home is not shocking. I have known of such instances personally so I'm not just making this stuff up to insult anyone, merely to give the OP a reality check.  No need to get touchy.

I know many Eastern Europeans and cheating isn't nationally accepted as you described.

These kind of generalisations and stereotypes are quite harmful to be honest. Its not culturally acceptable to the point an OW world be unregistered to the family like  ... so i can understand why the OP thought he was genuinely getting divorced. 

Just because some less than moral families you know behave like this, it isn't s cultural thing, any more than other cheating men around the world.