miranda561 Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: And yet, facts still do not exist in social science. Don't really know what your issue is. If you want to be in your bubble and not hear or understand that I've mixed with a lot of different types of people and i know how it is. Then go ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 33 minutes ago, miranda561 said: I've heard the same from men. If women make it too easy, they find it funny almost but wont see it as a long term. Then imo those men were never interested in her in the first place. But a man who IS interested, and she is interested in him? Help him out a little. Don't make it all so difficult just to see how many hoops he'll jump through. Which sadly, I see so many women doing. Have a little trust. I don't think TFY is talking about bombarding him with texts, doing all the initiating or otherwise acting overly needy cause yeah that will turn a man off. Just be open to his advances, be enthusiastic, let him know through actions you're into him! Not overly so, find the right balance. If he's into you, he will love it! If not into you, you're too "easy" or not "challenging" enough or some other BS. Edited June 10, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 4 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Ok whatever you say. Miranda I’m really sorry but Basils statement is 100% true. let me explain If we were all worker ants in a colony, then social science would be factual. As humans we all have free will which dictates how we deal with situations. So there are no facts on social science. Just methods and patterns 3 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietRiot Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Wow, this post really exploded...someone was talking about a book regarding this very thing. Was it: "Marry Him: The Case for Settling For Mr. Good Enough" CNN's Tony Harris talks to the author of the new book, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 55 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Nah....that's BS, IMO... They probably just told you that to placate you....Just think about it for a minute....Why would ANY guy that has regular quality female attention, then say to himself..."nah...this is just too easy, I think I will do OLD and play that dumb cat and mouse game"...or chase some woman that is going hot and cold and expecting me to jump hoops for her....I mean, maybe those particular guys you were talking to were getting attention from low quality women, but most low quality women wont bother with higher level guys...unless they enjoy getting used... Let's face it....Women put FAR more effort and attention into dating/romance than men do....Make life easy for a guy in this area and its all good...🙂 TFY Oh and that's a huge generalisation about women putting far more effort and attention in to dating. I've seen men chase a woman to the ends of the earth. And actually been on the receiving end of it too Edited June 10, 2020 by miranda561 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, miranda561 said: I've seen men chase a woman to the ends of the earth Guilty of that too before now unfortunately... never ended well and always ask myself what I was doing. Afterwards I would cringe at myself for it. We all want what we can’t have Edited June 10, 2020 by Fox Sake 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 6 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Then imo those men were never interested in her in the first place. But a man who IS interested, and she is interested in him? Help him out a little. Don't make it all so difficult just to see how many hoops he'll jump through. Which sadly, I see so many women doing. Have a little trust. I don't think TFY is talking about bombarding him with texts, doing all the initiating or otherwise acting overly needy cause yeah that will turn a man off. Just be open to his advances, be enthusiastic, let him know through actions you're into him! Not overly so, find the right balance. Maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Guilty of that too before now unfortunately... never ended well and always ask myself what I was doing. Afterwards I would cringe at myself for it. We all want what we can’t have Fyi it doesnt matter how great you really are as a person. But if you overdo it..there is a danger of a woman getting the ick. I swear people just can't seem to get the balance right 😂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Just now, miranda561 said: I swear people just can't seem to get the balance right 😂 That's because different people want different things. What works for one will not necessarily work for another. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: That's because different people want different things. What works for one will not necessarily work for another. A healthy balance will always work out. Not chasing to extreme levels and also not being cold and aloof. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Healthy balance is a good thing. But "always" is a stretch because one person's 'healthy balance' may not be another person's healthy balance. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 1 hour ago, thefooloftheyear said: Women prospect good men like vultures on a carcass...Take a wedding ring off to wash your hands and they're practically flashing their tits....😂 Those aren't quality women that you want for a wife... 1 hour ago, basil67 said: And this statement right here is why you're single. Let me spell it out to you: You're not special. I'm not special. Princess Enigma is not special. You're just another ordinary person floating around this planet. Also, we don't get to choose what we deserve - rather we get what we deserve. So let's turn around this 'setting' thing. You look at all the others around and recognise that they are all different degrees of ordinary. But because you think you're special, then you see accepting ordinary is a step down. But if you were to find some humility, you'll realise that you are actually no better than any of those other people who aren't perfect. And then you will find love and a wonderful ordinary partner for your ordinary self. There is a difference between being worthy (we are ALL worthy of love) and being special (which is highly subjective). E.g. You are not special to me, but you are still a worthy human being by default. 30 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Holding her end of the deal is different to chasing a guy. Exactly. Showing and reciprocating interest is the woman's job, while doing something about it is the man's job (initially). When a relationship develops, this transitions into meeting each other halfway way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Hopeful30, are you literally saying you'll get into a relationship with the first guy who comes say hi, or are you just saying you are leaving things to fate? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 1 minute ago, miranda561 said: Fyi it doesnt matter how great you really are as a person. But if you overdo it..there is a danger of a woman getting the ick. I swear people just can't seem to get the balance right 😂 Anyone who has had their heart broken and said they didn’t chase afterwards at all. Is a liar. unfortunately for me , my recent (4 years ago) ex had already got the ick when I started thinking I could do better, and didn’t provide her with the attention she deserved and dumped her. I broke her heart. By the time I realised how good I actually had it and chased her down, it was too late. I ended as the one with the broken heart which took me years to rebuild again. She did the right thing. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: There is a difference between being worthy (we are ALL worthy of love) and being special (which is highly subjective). No way - some people not worthy of (romantic) love because they behave in ways which are not conducive to being loved. (edit because I mis-read your comment) Edited June 10, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) What evidence is there that we are all worthy of love? If we were, you wouldn’t see people without it. And unfortunately, you do all the time. Ive seen brats with people who love them. . Selfish people who do nothing but receive love. . I see good people go without romantic love and good people who have been treated horribly by those they love. I’ve acted bad to good people who loved me and I regret it to this day. I haven’t seen any evidence of any law or cosmic justice regarding who gets what in life. Wanting it to be so doesn’t make it so. Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Anyone who has had their heart broken and said they didn’t chase afterwards at all. Is a liar. unfortunately for me , my recent (4 years ago) ex had already got the ick when I started thinking I could do better, and didn’t provide her with the attention she deserved and dumped her. I broke her heart. By the time I realised how good I actually had it and chased her down, it was too late. I ended as the one with the broken heart which took me years to rebuild again. She did the right thing. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. You mean you didnt find better than her so realised how big of an error you made in letting her go. And yes she did the right thing because why would she hang around when you failed to see her value. No disrespect but if you truly loved the girl you would never have thought there is something better out there in the first place. I dont accept that. You just missed what she was giving you and doing for you. There are those who suffer in silence. And men whos heart will break but no matter what their sense of pride will prevent them from ever chasing the woman. Edited June 10, 2020 by miranda561 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, basil67 said: No way - some people not worthy of (romantic) love because they behave in ways which are not conducive to being loved. Regarding being special, my husband and I are special to each other. But as individuals in the world, we are not special. And he would be the first to agree that he's not special. But his lack of self aggrandising is one of the things I love about him. And what ways is that exactly Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 All sorts of aszholes get in and out of relationships all the time, and lots of 'worthy' people are single; not sure 'worthiness' is such a determining factor, really. It's a lot more about timing, luck and availability, in my experience. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Anyone who has had their heart broken and said they didn’t chase afterwards at all. Is a liar. unfortunately for me , my recent (4 years ago) ex had already got the ick when I started thinking I could do better, and didn’t provide her with the attention she deserved and dumped her. I broke her heart. By the time I realised how good I actually had it and chased her down, it was too late. I ended as the one with the broken heart which took me years to rebuild again. She did the right thing. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. Wow... same thing happened to me, foxy. Except it took my ex like 3 times to finally realize he could do better xD Im sorry though that sucks. It is a hard lesson, but it taught us something 😔🤗 Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Sorry I can't help you all out...I'm quite good over here and I am trying to explain certain aspects of male behavior, and how you can use it to help yourselves, but if you want to poke holes in it(despite struggling yourselves) then I don't really know how to further make anyone understand... There is more I can say about this topic, as someone who's really never "struggled", but id rather just leave it at that...If you are interested perhaps PM me or something and I'll elaborate... No sense in continuing to 🔨 🐴 TFY 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 My comments were in response to the discussion about making the first move. I strongly advocate letting the man make the first move, but I'd never suggest "playing hard to get." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietRiot Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Sorry I can't help you all out...I'm quite good over here and I am trying to explain certain aspects of male behavior, and how you can use it to help yourselves, but if you want to poke holes in it(despite struggling yourselves) then I don't really know how to further make anyone understand... There is more I can say about this topic, as someone who's really never "struggled", but id rather just leave it at that...If you are interested perhaps PM me or something and I'll elaborate... No sense in continuing to 🔨 🐴 TFY Usually someone who proclaims they never had any struggles in this situation is obviously lying. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 1 minute ago, miranda561 said: And what ways is that exactly Are you talking about being not being worthy of love? The definition of 'worthy' is 'having or showing the qualities that deserve the specified action or regard.' It's a concept of cause and reaction. Honestly, I think that the word 'worthy' is more applicable to pay rises and promotions than love. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 5 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Sorry I can't help you all out...I'm quite good over here and I am trying to explain certain aspects of male behavior, and how you can use it to help yourselves, but if you want to poke holes in it(despite struggling yourselves) then I don't really know how to further make anyone understand... There is more I can say about this topic, as someone who's really never "struggled", but id rather just leave it at that...If you are interested perhaps PM me or something and I'll elaborate... No sense in continuing to 🔨 🐴 TFY Whatever i said is in relation to how various men I've crossed or know of have behaved. Your perspective is just one opinion of a certain type of man. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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