Deleting my dating profile and settling for the next guy I date.

[thefooloftheyear]

Just now, QuietRiot said:

Usually someone who proclaims they never had any struggles in this situation is obviously lying.

Believe whatever you want....no problem...

Perhaps its the main reason so many on here think its ridiculous.. I just may be the one visiting the AA meeting that's never had a drink...

TFY

[basil67]

4 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

Usually someone who proclaims they never had any struggles in this situation is obviously lying.

It would depend on how one defines 'struggles'.   I would define struggles as finding dating difficult and not being able to find good matches.   So in this respect, I would say that I have not struggled.   But I've certainly had disappointments and made mistakes.  

[Hopeful30]

28 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Hopeful30, are you literally saying you'll get into a relationship with the first guy who comes say hi, or are you just saying you are leaving things to fate? 

Leaving it to fate. I admit the original post came from a place of hurt and frustration. Surprised no one saw that...

25 minutes ago, basil67 said:

No way - some people not worthy of (romantic) love because they behave in ways which are not conducive to being loved.   

(edit because I mis-read your comment)

 

18 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

What evidence is there that we are all worthy of love? If we were, you wouldn’t see people without it. And unfortunately, you do all the time.

 

Ive seen brats with people who love them.  . Selfish  people who do nothing but  receive love. . I see good people go without romantic love and good  people who have been treated horribly by those they love. I’ve acted bad to good people who loved me and I regret it to this day. 

 

I haven’t seen any evidence of any law or cosmic justice regarding who gets what in life. Wanting it to be so doesn’t make it so. 

The above quoted posts are the reason why there is a lack of humanity and compassion in this world. May you posters see beyond these ego-based false beliefs to recognize the true beauty of your worthiness. After all, people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves 🙏

Edited June 10, 2020 by Hopeful30

[Hopeful30]

9 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

Believe whatever you want....no problem...

Perhaps its the main reason so many on here think its ridiculous.. I just may be the one visiting the AA meeting that's never had a drink...

TFY

Yet you still come to the meetings...your username seems appropriate.

 

(Saying this in good humour. I, too, wish you nothing but love and happiness. May you find the woman who will fill your heart and make you a better man for it 🙏)

Edited June 10, 2020 by Hopeful30

[Ruby Slippers]

3 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

Believe whatever you want....no problem...

I believe you. It's just not the view the men I've known have taken.

I suppose some people, men and women, prefer to be pursued, while some prefer to pursue. I've never been turned on in any way by the idea of making the first move or pursuing a man. I do what feels natural and right, for me.

Plenty of men I find desirable have approached me throughout my life, and when I'm interested, I'm immediately receptive and then it starts going both ways. In later discussions I learn that they liked that I gave them the opportunity to initiate, and they learn that I liked they took the initiative. It's a traditional approach, feels right and good to me.

[Emilie Jolie]

6 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

 

 

The above quoted posts are the reason why there is a lack of humanity and compassion in this world. May you posters see beyond these ego-based false beliefs to recognize the true beauty of your worthiness. After all, people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves 🙏

I was just asking you whether you were literal in getting into a relationship with the first man who introduces himself to you🥴

Also said finding a partner has nothing to do with being 'worthy' - you need to be at the right time in the right place in the right frame of mind, mostly.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[basil67]

1 minute ago, Hopeful30 said:

The above quoted posts are the reason why there is a lack of humanity and compassion in this world. May you posters see beyond these ego-based false beliefs to recognize the true beauty of your worthiness. After all, people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves 🙏

So, you're now wide open to both loving and being sexually attracted to a guy who's shorter than you?  Or is your ego still holding you back?

  

[poppyfields]

15 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

Usually someone who proclaims they never had any struggles in this situation is obviously lying.

So what should he say then?  That he has struggled?  Would that mean he hasn't struggled?  Lol. 😛

I mean what's the correct response for someone who truly hasn't struggled?  

There are such people ya know. Who instinctively know what to do and don't consider dating a "struggle." 

That's not to say they haven't been hurt, but that's different from "struggling."

Edited June 10, 2020 by poppyfields

[basil67]

5 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

I still can't get over all the ladies criticizing Ryan Reynolds a few pages back. Wow. You ladies really are unrealistic. Good looking guy charming, in great shape, millionaire, famous...he's got it all. He's also been tied to some of the most beautiful women around. Can y'all compete physically with Scarlet Johansson? I think I was wrong before. Some of you ladies really do need to settle if that guy ain't good enough for you.

haha, I missed that.   To be honest, I don't understand why Hollywood stars - male or female - get placed on a pedestal. 

[miranda561]

5 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

I still can't get over all the ladies criticizing Ryan Reynolds a few pages back. Wow. You ladies really are unrealistic. Good looking guy charming, in great shape, millionaire, famous...he's got it all. He's also been tied to some of the most beautiful women around. Can y'all compete physically with Scarlet Johansson? I think I was wrong before. Some of you ladies really do need to settle if that guy ain't good enough for you.

Excuse me. Maybe we can compete with Scarlett. Just because  we don't have a preference for him, don't mean we aint physically appealing ourselves.  Like get over it. Hes personally not to my taste. 

[Emilie Jolie]

8 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

Leaving it to fate. I admit the original post came from a place of hurt and frustration. Surprised no one saw that...

That makes more sense, thanks for clarifying.

[miranda561]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

So, you're now wide open to both loving and being sexually attracted to a guy who's shorter than you?  Or is your ego still holding you back?

  

Everyone has a right to want what they want without being judged for it. You seem particularly biased against women.

Its not like men dont do the same, there are short men who complain about women being short...a guy i know met up with a woman n complained about how short she was. I was thinking..mate youre a midget yourself. (Hes 5ft7)

 

[thefooloftheyear]

27 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

Yet you still come to the meetings...your username seems appropriate.

 

(Saying this in good humour. I, too, wish you nothing but love and happiness. May you find the woman who will fill your heart and make you a better man for it 🙏)

Thanks....without getting into detail, I am doing  better than most and probably better than I deserve really....😉

Although you do make a point, while I do get some entertainment, have a few laughs,  and have learned some lessons from the site so if that characterizes me as a fool, that's cool..., but it may be better to end it already....Misery does love company, and I have nothing to really be miserable about with respect to what you are implying...I dunno….

My best to you, though....don't settle....🙂

TFY

Edited June 10, 2020 by thefooloftheyear

[Ami1uwant]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I don’t think that’s true at all, and somewhat of a cop out.

Agree beautiful women may not get approached as much, by insecure men who are intimidated by her and/or fear rejection.

Not all men are insecure, and not all men fear rejection, not to the extent it will prevent them from talking to a woman they find very attractive.

And goodness gracious, there is more than one way to meet a man other than him approaching you. 

But it entails getting out there and socializing -- meet ups, local events in your area, being open, friendly and engaging.  Stay away from dating apps and meet and get to know men in the real world and allow them to get to know you!

A good quality guy isn’t gonna just fall from the sky for goodness sakes.  YOU need to make an effort too.

And as I said, if all you’re meeting are good looking players who end up breaking your heart, you are the common denominator.    Perhaps your picker needs some fine tuning or something.

I have met and dated some “players” in my day but for the most part, the men I met and chose to date (I’m in a RL now), were all quality guys -- successful, good looking (to me), emotionally open and available.

So dunno Hopeful, like TFY suggested, on some subconscious level you may not think you deserve that, and if you don’t think you deserve it, can almost guarantee you will not find it.

 

 

I honestly think she is unapproachable.  

 

I dont bother evrn approaching women women who are taller than me because most woman want a taller man. I have no problem dating a taller woman..if she is 5-11 which means dhe is looking for 6-2 or taller.

 

i guess dhe needs to go to the basketball court.

[Fox Sake]

29 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

You mean you didnt find better than her so realised how big of an error you made in letting her go. And yes she did the right thing because why would she hang around when you failed  to see her value. 

No disrespect  but if you truly loved the girl you would never have thought there is something better out there in the first place. I dont accept  that. You just missed what she was giving you and doing for you. 

There are those who suffer in silence. And men whos heart will break but no matter what their sense of pride will prevent them from ever chasing the woman. 

Wow you are on one tonight 🤣 

let me educate you again, seeing as you seem to think you know me so well and categorise me in your mind.  
 

I could have found better yes. But not until I realised WHY I did that.
I had other women chasing me while I was in that relationship. One of whom I had liked and was very good friends with for ages before. We sparked but it wasn’t the same kind of connection... no where near as wholesome for my soul.  
 

No disrespect taken. You’ve proved your emotional maturity level over and over. I’m not going to argue with you over who I am as person. 

[miranda561]

1 minute ago, enigma32 said:

Mostly, because they're really, really, really good looking. And generally charming as well, or they couldn't pull off the whole acting gig. It's just funny to me that in a thread where some more realistic folks here have to remind some ladies that maybe they should try some realism, we run into a few people who think they can do better than a dude that was married to one of the most physically desirable women in the world. 

😂 like i said. We don't  have to find ryan reynolds physically appealing, and because of that have you judge us ( looks wise) just because hes not on our most desired list of people. Like damn!

[rjc149]

7 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

I still can't get over all the ladies criticizing Ryan Reynolds a few pages back. Wow. You ladies really are unrealistic. Good looking guy charming, in great shape, millionaire, famous...he's got it all. He's also been tied to some of the most beautiful women around. Can y'all compete physically with Scarlet Johansson? I think I was wrong before. Some of you ladies really do need to settle if that guy ain't good enough for you.

Lol I was a bit surprised myself! I always thought he was the epitome of "movie star handsome." I want to think that the fact that he's funny and down-to-earth in real life would help that too. 

I don't think they were criticizing him, just critiquing him within the context of celebrity media. I doubt any woman here would pass up Ryan Reynolds because they were holding out for better. 

[thefooloftheyear]

26 minutes ago, basil67 said:

It would depend on how one defines 'struggles'.   I would define struggles as finding dating difficult and not being able to find good matches.   So in this respect, I would say that I have not struggled.   But I've certainly had disappointments and made mistakes.  

Thanks,...I couldn't have said it better about myself either and should have clarified that in my previous post......Its the same deal for me...😉

TFY

Edited June 10, 2020 by thefooloftheyear

[Emilie Jolie]

4 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

a dude that was married to one of the most physically desirable women in the world. 

He divorced her though, didn't he? So maybe 'physically desirable' is not the answer to all the world's problems? His current wife is lovely too, they make a lovely couple, but we don't know these people personally - they might be disaster zones behind closed doors.

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, Fox Sake said:

Wow you are on one tonight 🤣 

let me educate you again, seeing as you seem to think you know me so well and categorise me in your mind.  
 

I could have found better yes. But not until I realised WHY I did that.
I had other women chasing me while I was in that relationship. One of whom I had liked and was very good friends with for ages before. We sparked but it wasn’t the same kind of connection... no where near as wholesome for my soul.  
 

No disrespect taken. You’ve proved your emotional maturity level over and over. I’m not going to argue with you over who I am as person. 

I think someones emotional maturity level needs to be worked on. And it certainly aint mine. If you cant take what i said without retaliating, then you do need to look inwards.

You were like a kid in a candy store and wasn't satisfied with what you had in front of you. You can't dispute that. I shall repeat myself, you didnt love the girl and took her for granted. 

You only saw it was wholesome for your soul after you dumped her? O..........k

[Hopeful30]

16 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

Mostly, because they're really, really, really good looking. And generally charming as well, or they couldn't pull off the whole acting gig. It's just funny to me that in a thread where some more realistic folks here have to remind some ladies that maybe they should try some realism, we run into a few people who think they can do better than a dude that was married to one of the most physically desirable women in the world. 

I never understood her appeal. I find her VERY unattractive, even repulsive.  (She reminds me of a toad lol)

Ryan Reynolds is nice on the outside, but he is spineless. Met him at a TIFF event because I had a friend who was organizing the events. He's incredibly shy and this whole confidence thing is a front. He's not too intelligent either, I would not date him.

12 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

I guess dhe needs to go to the basketball court.

😂

Edited June 10, 2020 by Hopeful30

[miranda561]

1 minute ago, enigma32 said:

He did. Then went on to find another gorgeous woman over a decade younger than he is. I assume most movie stars are disaster zones. I have a good friend that was acquainted with a few of them since she lived and worked in LA, but Ryan isn't being critiqued for that, people are just acting like he isn't all that appealing. So, yeah, if someone like that just doesn't strike her fancy, she is really gonna have a rough time.

Are you ryan reynolds himself

[Fox Sake]

40 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Wow... same thing happened to me, foxy. Except it took my ex like 3 times to finally realize he could do better xD 

 

Im sorry though that sucks. It is a hard lesson, but it taught us something 😔🤗

I think we have been living in parallel, cookies! 

Im grateful for all the hard time and lessons in life. Even the worst of them like those situations. They have made us who we are today. Shaped our characters and hopefully, for those willing, taught us some valuable lessons on a number of things and gained some more emotional maturity. Hurry up and become a supporting member already!  

[rjc149]

Just now, Hopeful30 said:

Ryan Reynolds is nice on the outside, but he is spineless. Met him at a TIFF event because I had a friend who was organizing the events. He's incredibly shy and this whole confidence thing is a front. He's not too intelligent either, I would not date him.

At least you're hopeful, Hopeful30. Never lose hope. 

[miranda561]

11 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

Lol I was a bit surprised myself! I always thought he was the epitome of "movie star handsome." I want to think that the fact that he's funny and down-to-earth in real life would help that too. 

I don't think they were criticizing him, just critiquing him within the context of celebrity media. I doubt any woman here would pass up Ryan Reynolds because they were holding out for better. 

Omg is every male poster on here part of the we love ryan reynolds fanclub.