Deleting my dating profile and settling for the next guy I date.

[rjc149]

10 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Well I did say he wasn't my cup of tea (which you mentioned) so..... 

I know, and I think the fact that you acknowledge he's a good looking guy, despite not fitting your personal type, is fairly reasonable. It's the same way I regard Scarlet Johansson or Kate Upton. Good looking women, certainly meeting my minimum standards in terms of looks, I would be open to dating normal women who looked like them (I would never date any sort of celebrity), but they're not the type that I seek out. 

But if there are women who really do not think RR is good looking at all and are baffled at his sex symbol status, I'll respect that. Okay. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by rjc149

[Backinthesaddleagain]

5 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

There's nothing wrong with not thinking RR is the bee's knees. There's nothing wrong with finding him deformed and hideous either. I just find the latter to be surprising and pretty extreme. I once thought it could be universally agreed upon that RR is a handsome guy, regardless of if his "look" appeals to you personally. But if you really believe he's gross, I'll back off. To each their own. 

 

I think some of the responses here have been a bit extreme. There have actually been studies on what features men and women generally find attractive. Most of these features are ingrained in our psyche through natural selection and things that indicate good genes for reproduction. =men like curvy hips and big boobs =women like tall strong guys, etc...

Of course, anytime you show people results and averages there will be some that don't follow the herd for numerous different reasons, or even go against it on purpose just because. I knew a girl once who was extremely attractive and would only date guys with really big noses. She shot me down and I am above average in the looks department. Her celebrity crush was Bill Maher! 

Keep your chin up Ryan 😛 

[miranda561]

21 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

There's nothing wrong with not thinking RR is the bee's knees. There's nothing wrong with finding him deformed and hideous either. I just find the latter to be surprising and pretty extreme. I once thought it could be universally agreed upon that RR is a handsome guy, regardless of if his "look" appeals to you personally. But if you really believe he's gross, I'll back off. To each their own. 

 

Omg 2 hours later n you still going on about rr. 😂

 

[miranda561]

2 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I think some of the responses here have been a bit extreme. There have actually been studies on what features men and women generally find attractive. Most of these features are ingrained in our psyche through natural selection and things that indicate good genes for reproduction. =men like curvy hips and big boobs =women like tall strong guys, etc...

Of course, anytime you show people results and averages there will be some that don't follow the herd for numerous different reasons, or even go against it on purpose just because. I knew a girl once who was extremely attractive and would only date guys with really big noses. She shot me down and I am above average in the looks department. Her celebrity crush was Bill Maher! 

Keep your chin up Ryan 😛 

You were above average  in the looks department 😂

You don't  half like blowing your own horn  do ya😂

[rjc149]

7 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Omg 2 hours later n you still going on about rr. 😂

 

But he’s so hot...

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Just now, miranda561 said:

You were above average  in the looks department 😂

You don't  half like blowing your own horn  do ya😂

Well, my mee-maw always tell me how handsome I am

If I could blow my own horn, I wouldn't be here 😀

 

 

[miranda561]

8 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Well, my mee-maw always tell me how handsome I am

If I could blow my own horn, I wouldn't be here 😀

 

 

Thats your mommys job. 

May not be true though  😂😂🤣

[Emilie Jolie]

My take: there are attractive men, and men I'm attracted to - mostly they're one and the same , because I've never been with a guy that I have found physically unattractive in real life. But when it comes to X, I find most of them attractive objectively (I'm not fussy) but  because I don't t know them from Adam, 'm not necessarily attracted to them. It also helps if I think X does his job well (good films or music or whatever), but I'm not having hot flushes about them all just because they  look nice in their underwear.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Emilie Jolie
Typos

[poppyfields]

Emilie, excellent point re the difference between finding someone "attractive" and being "attracted to" them.

Many folks believe they're the same, they're not!  Vast difference between the two.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

All this talk of looks makes me want to catfish someone and then start a hilarious thread about it 

There is a thread on exactly this going at present  

[poppyfields]

Just now, basil67 said:

There is a thread on exactly this going at present  

Care to enlighten us?  Not sure I've seen it!  

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Just now, basil67 said:

There is a thread on exactly this going at present  

I am aware. That's why I made the comment in the first place. It's called sarcasm!   

[Backinthesaddleagain]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Care to enlighten us?  Not sure I've seen it!  

Enjoy. It's too bad you didn't get there earlier, the mods deleted all the personal texts he put on the thread. Very entertaining, just don't try to say anything to the OP. He won't listen and just likes to ego stroke. 

 

[Interstellar]

20 hours ago, rjc149 said:

 

I was just remarking on the fact that I believe Ryan Reynolds would meet the minimum looks threshold for the 99.99% majority of women in terms of his romantic potential. 

that would be Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall or Fight Club. If you put him in front of 100 women, 90 would choose him but there will be the 10 who won’t find him attractive at all ie. he’s too tall, too short, too young, too beautiful, etc...etc...he has a very high batting average buy being handsome but it only gets your foot in the door. It guarantees a first date but there are other factors to consider after the first date, and long after the ether has worn off on whether she’ll stay for the long term. No guarantees in life but you can always increase your odds of holding onto one.

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

There's nothing wrong with not thinking RR is the bee's knees. There's nothing wrong with finding him deformed and hideous either. I just find the latter to be surprising and pretty extreme. I once thought it could be universally agreed upon that RR is a handsome guy, regardless of if his "look" appeals to you personally. But if you really believe he's gross, I'll back off. To each their own. 

 

Well, I don't think he's gross at all...I didn't mean to given that impression. He just isn't sexy or gorgeous to me. I know a lot of people think he's handsome and I do think some conventionally gorgeous people are attractive, I think Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful, the girl who played Sansa and Jennifer Grey makes me foam with jealousy, I didn't want to go for hyperbole or anything, just trying to say...when people say they won't lower their standards...it doesn't have to mean a model or an actor equivalent, because all people have different opinions of what handsome or sexy are. 

Now for all I know that IS what the OP wants but...I wish when women said "seriously, we do or don't like this" we wouldn't get this condescending attitude in general of, "nah, you don't know what you want. * I* know what you want and if you disagree I'll just hint that you're either a liar or you would fall for the person I said you would." It comes off really red pill...like, "nah, you're a woman so you can't possibly want something that doesn't fit the paradigm...you DO want what I say you want..." that is what that comes off as. Just...no. Really, really no.

That was what I was trying to get across with my examples.

It would really help if the OP would answer whether this *is* what she means, that she won't take less than a Hollywood actor style guy.

Edited June 10, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 hours ago, rjc149 said:

Sorry I was busy furiously masturbating to my Ryan Reynolds posters all over my apartment. Where were we? Ah yes. Being told I lack understanding of female nuance and that I am prescribing women what they should, and shouldn't feel. This chair has gotten pretty cozy. 

I'll just leave it at this: the way I see it, an attractive person is an attractive person. Let's call him X since using actual names is side-tracking this discussion into celebrity hot-or-not. Now, you've got some women here acknowledging X is handsome, but not her cup. You have women here saying X is NOT handsome at all. And you have women here stating that X is actually facially deformed and wouldn't have a chance in Hell with her. 

I employed the example of X, because, without considering the minutiae of his exact facial proportions or the beautiful rainbow of female individuality, he is considered to be an attractive man. That belief was met with somewhat virulent opposition and dissent here, which took me by surprise. Not because I worship X, but because I had a belief that X was generally considered an example of an attractive male. I stand corrected. Very, very corrected. 

Now. What I question is this: do the women who find X hopelessly unattractive say so, because they really think the man is hideous? Or, is it just a hyperbolic way of asserting their opinion that he's not her preference? And the reason I ask is because, similarly, I don't get the hoopla over Scarlet Johansson. She's not my cup. I don't take it up 87 notches to "she's deformed, this, this, and that is messed up with her face, I wouldn't give her the time of day." So maybe that IS just me mansplaining. If so, I humbly concede. 

Look-- if the guy is just not attractive to you, at all, you'd shut his ugly ass down if he approached you at a bar, that's fine. I really don't care why. Your preferences are yours to have. I just find it surprising, because it undid a previous belief I once held that X was a good example of a conventionally handsome guy. My mind has been expanded. 

 

Hideous? No. That IS hyperbole. "Not attractive to me" doesn't mean the person is empirically ugly any more than "Hollywood says I should be as attracted to this man as X percent of women do" means the person is empirically handsome.

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

 

But if there are women who really do not think RR is good looking at all and are baffled at his sex symbol status, I'll respect that. Okay. 

^ Thank you, I appreciate that very much. And I mean that. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I think some of the responses here have been a bit extreme. There have actually been studies on what features men and women generally find attractive. Most of these features are ingrained in our psyche through natural selection and things that indicate good genes for reproduction. =men like curvy hips and big boobs =women like tall strong guys, etc...

Of course, anytime you show people results and averages there will be some that don't follow the herd for numerous different reasons, or even go against it on purpose just because. I knew a girl once who was extremely attractive and would only date guys with really big noses. She shot me down and I am above average in the looks department. Her celebrity crush was Bill Maher! 

Keep your chin up Ryan 😛 

Now just wait a minte, Bill IS hot. 😁 He's aging but he's hilarious and brilliant and is his nose actually that big? I haven't noticed that part, LOL. ETA: I think you're right about the nose. I just don't understand why some people don't believe that "hot" literally does vary...wildly...and for many of us is TREMENDOUSLY dependent upon personality. Reynolds always acts like a douche and I do wonder, is that  part of the reason I literally do not as handsomeness or beyond average in his face, even though I'm continuously told I'm supposed to and if not I'm just wrong or otherwise intentionally oppositional? 🤔

Reynolds actually doesn't appear to have facial golden ratio, BTW so who knows, that could be part of the extremely opposing opinions? Now that you brought it up it's possible. I don't know.

Edited June 10, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[basil67]

52 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I am aware. That's why I made the comment in the first place. It's called sarcasm!   

Ah.  I need emoticons to detect sarcasm in the written word.  

Edited June 10, 2020 by basil67

[CaliforniaGirl]

33 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

that would be Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall or Fight Club. If you put him in front of 100 women, 90 would choose him but there will be the 10 who won’t find him attractive at all ie. he’s too tall, too short, too young, too beautiful, etc...etc...he has a very high batting average buy being handsome but it only gets your foot in the door. It guarantees a first date but there are other factors to consider after the first date, and long after the ether has worn off on whether she’ll stay for the long term. No guarantees in life but you can always increase your odds of holding onto one.

Yeah, Pitt perhaps comes closer to universally hot? I'm partial to his Louis...sigh...Fight Club, I don't know...I'm never attracted to the dirtbags.

OP. Can you please put us out of our misery and tell us whether you do want movie star looks in a man? Or do you just mean your type, whatever that may be?

[miranda561]

43 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Yeah, Pitt perhaps comes closer to universally hot? I'm partial to his Louis...sigh...Fight Club, I don't know...I'm never attracted to the dirtbags.

OP. Can you please put us out of our misery and tell us whether you do want movie star looks in a man? Or do you just mean your type, whatever that may be?

Erm is this a good time to mention. Brad pitt doesn't  do it for me either. Or is it going to spark another  50 pages of "what is wrong with you" "i dont get it" "are you insane" 

[simpycurious]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Emilie, excellent point re the difference between finding someone "attractive" and being "attracted to" them.

Many folks believe they're the same, they're not!  Vast difference between the two.

I think sometimes you JUST know because you feel it............it happens and it is absolute 

and they write great songs about IT

Edited June 11, 2020 by simpycurious

[rjc149]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

It would really help if the OP would answer whether this *is* what she means, that she won't take less than a Hollywood actor style guy.

She claims to have met RR at some event, and found him shy, spineless, and un-dateable. So I'm just wondering whether her standards are unreasonable, or her "too hot to handle" persona is sort of a facade when there's clearly some despair that she feels about her dating situation. 

 

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Hideous? No. That IS hyperbole. "Not attractive to me" doesn't mean the person is empirically ugly 

This is EXACTLY what I was trying to get at. I'm not trying to dose the LS estro-fest with the red pill (not on this thread at least) by mansplaining to all you women that RR is a Greek god and if you don't conform your preferences to that standard, you're either lying or wayyy too picky. I'm just calling out a few opinions here that equate "not attractive to me" as "objectively unattractive." Going so far as to emphasize that connection with hyperbole. I'm just calling out the hyperbole. RR may not be your thing, but surely he's not a bad looking guy, right? "I wouldn't give him a chance even if he was a cool guy chatting me up at a bar. His face is deformed." Eek.

 

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Reynolds always acts like a douche and I do wonder, is that  part of the reason I literally do not as handsomeness or beyond average in his face, even though I'm continuously told I'm supposed to and if not I'm just wrong or otherwise intentionally oppositional? 🤔

I've read that he's actually a pretty real, witty, down-to-earth and humble dude. Does that help his case, or is his face just too f'd up? 🤪

 

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Now just wait a minte, Bill IS hot. 😁 He's aging but he's hilarious and brilliant

We're done here. 

[rjc149]

3 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

 is that those overly picky ladies generally end up alone. 

Yes, and the thing is, the window of time where an attractive woman has her pick of the litter is 18-30, fairly brief, and yet it shapes her persona and worldview so profoundly that it endures in the face of reality long after she's begun her SMV decline. A woman who was the 'hot girl' in her 20's isn't letting that persona go so easily when her glory days are behind her. And when she must, I would imagine that's difficult. It's difficult to confront the reality that she doesn't have her pick anymore. 

That may very well be the underlying despair the OP feels. 

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

55 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

She claims to have met RR at some event, and found him shy, spineless, and un-dateable. So I'm just wondering whether her standards are unreasonable, or her "too hot to handle" persona is sort of a facade when there's clearly some despair that she feels about her dating situation. 

 

This is EXACTLY what I was trying to get at. I'm not trying to dose the LS estro-fest with the red pill (not on this thread at least) by mansplaining to all you women that RR is a Greek god and if you don't conform your preferences to that standard, you're either lying or wayyy too picky. I'm just calling out a few opinions here that equate "not attractive to me" as "objectively unattractive." Going so far as to emphasize that connection with hyperbole. I'm just calling out the hyperbole. RR may not be your thing, but surely he's not a bad looking guy, right? "I wouldn't give him a chance even if he was a cool guy chatting me up at a bar. His face is deformed." Eek.

 

I've read that he's actually a pretty real, witty, down-to-earth and humble dude. Does that help his case, or is his face just too f'd up? 🤪

 

We're done here. 

If he really is cool then yes, I'll bet that would change things, since it seems to for me. I do know some actors get typecast just because they do a style well...like Anthony Hopkins, an apparently quiet, nice, gentlemanly and humble soul, playing weirdos and psychos over and over again. Perhaps Reynolds isn't a douche. Being non-douchy, with doucheless expressions, his eyes would look different, his mouth...everything. Physically he might appear more handsome; sexier. (To me.)

P.s. Bill Maher IS hot. 😍

Edited June 11, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl