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Deleting my dating profile and settling for the next guy I date.


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30 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Things have changed, basically.

Technology changed.  People are fundamentally the same.  Kindness, compassion & communication are no different now then they were 20, 30, 50, 100 years ago (OK maybe communication has changed in that people expect to actually talk to their partners) 

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Emilie Jolie
2 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

If i give others advice and then am told i am wrong or my views are incorrect, it is wrong of the person ( other posters) to dismiss what i say.

I've not seen anyone dismissing what you say, but of course your experience is yours. It isn't any less or more valuable than someone else's, it's not a unversal law, it doesn't apply to everyone uniformally but it applies to you, and maybe others, and that's fine.

It's not a competition as to who has the more relevant experience, if that's what you mean.

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Emilie Jolie
5 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Technology changed.  People are fundamentally the same.  Kindness, compassion & communication are no different now then they were 20, 30, 50, 100 years ago (OK maybe communication has changed in that people expect to actually talk to their partners) 

Sure, the premise is the same, but the tools and environment to meet people are different - I think?

For instance, I've never dated online; I don't get it, it doesn't suit my personality, I'm not equipped for it or whatever - I just know I would suck at it, so my natural instinct is to advise people to try and meet in real life, because that's what's worked for me. But clearly that's not the only way - in fact more people than ever are finding their partner online. Am I the best person to guide them through something I've never done, never mind done successfully? 

But yes, of course you're right, the human element hasn't changed.

 

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29 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

I've not seen anyone dismissing what you say, but of course your experience is yours. It isn't any less or more valuable than someone else's, it's not a unversal law, it doesn't apply to everyone uniformally but it applies to you, and maybe others, and that's fine.

It's not a competition as to who has the more relevant experience, if that's what you mean.

Not everyone of course. There are some who do. Because they *think* they are correct 

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Emilie Jolie
2 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Not everyone of course. There are some who do. Because they *think* they are correct 

Sure. I guess letting it slide is a good skill to have too, right? :)

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1 minute ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Sure. I guess letting it slide is a good skill to have too, right? :)

Well of course i let it slide. I just mentioned it because you brought  up some good points?..and that  was related 

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

See, this is why Men don't take you seriously OP, because your letting your social life, run your life... You feel that if only you had a relationship and kids, you could get back to having that social connection with all ur friends and people you know... The truth is that people just move on, they begin to socially isolate and stick with their families...

Me personally, I know exactly how much time, effort, stress and money kids are, I watch my friends and they try to tell me that they love what they do, but you can see the conflict within them and the reason the conflict isn't discussed is because its not socially acceptable to do so; once your a parent, everything else takes a back seat, especially your social life.

I think you need some new friends, not to settle blindly.

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23 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Sure, the premise is the same, but the tools and environment to meet people are different - I think?

For instance, I've never dated online; I don't get it, it doesn't suit my personality, I'm not equipped for it or whatever - I just know I would suck at it, so my natural instinct is to advise people to try and meet in real life, because that's what's worked for me. But clearly that's not the only way - in fact more people than ever are finding their partner online. Am I the best person to guide them through something I've never done, never mind done successfully? 

But yes, of course you're right, the human element hasn't changed.

 

Some people look down on online  dating? In a way i can see why. But there have been success stories.

For me personally, its just more convenient and you would think everyone's  there to meet someone, and its easier  to speak to people for men and women ( without the awkward first moves you get when you meet someone in reality). 

In real life i just get men staring at me continuously... .but not actually doing anything about it. Or maybe indirectly bantering, but again not having the ability to do anything more 😂.

Thats what i mean by OLD making it less awkward. You just hit someone up with a little message 

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Emilie Jolie
Just now, miranda561 said:

Some people look down on online  dating?

Not looking down on, no. Just never used it - as I said, I'm not suited for it; doesn't mean I think it's wrong or bad. Not for me, but clearly working for others.

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thefooloftheyear
1 hour ago, stillafool said:

I'm not having any relationship problems either but I'm here.  It's my hang out place.

Yep...

I guess some people think a pre requisite for participation in any discussion here must be that you have the same problems they do....Or they think that if you aren't letting the world know your personal business, that somehow means you are miserable by default...

Its a morbid fascination for some..for others, who knows...but no....not everyone "struggles"...

TFY

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1 minute ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Not looking down on, no. Just never used it - as I said, I'm not suited for it; doesn't mean I think it's wrong or bad. Not for me, but clearly working for others.

I mean generally. Sometimes theres a stigma attached to it. 

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poppyfields

I'm sorry, but this notion that all women should find R Reynolds good looking and hot based on the fact he's a "movie star" is just so ludicrous, I don't even know where to begin!

It's so extremely shallow and whoever said it must not think very highly of women.  Not to mention if a woman were to use his "movie star" status as a reason for finding him hot, she no doubt would be criticized for that!  

There is a hell of a lot more to a man or anyone than being famous and re his looks, I admit he's classically good looking but I don't particularly like classically good looking model types, I posted that earlier. 

It's not my taste or style and I'm entitled to that without being criticized for it.

Take Richard Ashcroft (former lead singer of the Verve).

After I saw him perform Bittersweet Symphony live, I became sort of obsessed with him! Lol

Not classically handsome by any stretch but damn that man has an aura, an energy, that is what I found and still find incredibly attractive (to me).

He also writes the lyrics to much of his music; the man is a literal genius!  Very much MY style and type.

To the male poster in love with R Reynolds, lol, is this not allowed in your world?  For people to have their own style, taste and type? 

That's pretty rigid thinking imo.

And yes I am in a happy LTR, almost 3 years.  My bf even knew about my mini obsession!  Lol

He was a bit jealous at first but he got over it, he understood it, all in good fun.  :D

But I admit if I were single and met him, I'd go for him in a split second.

Not because he's a famous musician, but because of his aura, his energy, his genius and yes I do happen to like his look too.

Edgy, bad boyish in a way.  Just his looks, he's not a bad boy, he's a happily married man with kids.

$.02.

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11 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Or, maybe they really are that picky, which would explain why they are single. 

We subject female celebrities to similarly exacting standards of physical beauty too, and we each have our preferences. These preferences wouldn’t apply to women we met in real life, however, and I think that applies to the women here poo-pooing Mr. Reynolds. Celebrities are there to be mercilessly critiqued and judged by the public, that’s the price they pay for their wealth and fame, and that’s part of the appeal to us. We get to judge them and compare them to each other and pretend to choose among them as our mates. 

Personally, Scarlett Johansson or Kate Upton don’t really rev my engine. I’m just not into the conventional buxom blonde look. There are hotter specimens of that in porn. I have a crush on Julia Garner from Ozark, I would pick her over the other two despite her being less conventionally attractive. There’s just something about her that appeals to me personally, so I get that part.

But Scarlett Johansson or Kate Upton would certainly be attractive enough for me in real life. Some of the posters here are getting a bit caught up in the “hot or not” fun to admit the same about Ryan Reynolds. I don’t think it’s a matter of them having unreasonable real-life expectations. If a normal dude who looked like Ryan Reynolds started hitting on them, they'd give him a chance. 

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3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

'm sorry, but this notion that all women should find R Reynolds good looking and hot based on the fact he's a "movie star" is just so ludicrous, I don't even know where to begin!

Either do I, and if a women doesn't like him she is too picky...
Maybe she loves little fat bald guys, big tall guys, burly tatted guys, weedy guys with specs, guys with foreign accents, guys with red hair, guys who can make her laugh... etc. etc. etc.
RR is a conventional type and many women it seems to me do not not like that type, though quite a lot of men do it seems, so even if he did show up in her life she would still pass.

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Miss Spider
1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

If a normal dude who looked like Ryan Reynolds started hitting on them, they'd give him a chance. 

Nah I wouldn’t , cuz I get hit on guys cuter than him.. so why would I 

 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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poppyfields

I just searched on line again for R Reynolds pics.

God no, and that is the truth!  NOT my cup of tea. :eek:

I don't give a rat's rear about status and I earn and have my own money. 

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Emilie Jolie
1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Richard Ashcroft

Excellent choice - very sexy guy.

My hall pass is Idris Elba.

I also find Ryan Reynolds and a bunch of other Hollywood men or sportsmen good looking.

I have exactly zero problems admitting finding conventionally handsome guys, well, handsome. Didn't realise it was such a rarity 🤷‍♀️.

At the very same time, I find my SO more attractive than any of these guys put together, and he's no Idris Elba (not his fault, he's of Irish descent).

 

 

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Miss Spider
1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Either do I, and if a women doesn't like him she is too picky...
Maybe she loves little fat bald guys, big tall guys, burly tatted guys, weedy guys with specs, guys with foreign accents, guys with red hair, guys who can make her laugh... etc. etc. etc.
RR is a conventional type and many women it seems to me do not not like that type, though quite a lot of men do it seems, so even if he did show up in her life she would still pass.

I find the rr fan boys really fascinating., actually. Best part of the thread. I think men seem a lot more open to variety. Women can be like that, but I notice amongst my friends, most of us have  types (some more than one)
 

I’ll be like, “4 o clock, the guy in glasses  😍” and my friend will say,  “umm no thanks. All yours” . 

 

One of my friends would give her left boob for a night with Idris. She  only finds black guys attractive and  has never seen a black guy she doesn’t find attractive. My other friend can't stand anyone who is clean cut...needs beard and disheveled hair
 

Ryan Reynolds is conventional looking, but not classically handsome. Make him an insurance salesman and I actually think he might struggle a bit with women, depending on his personality. 

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Emilie Jolie
17 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

One of my friends would give her left boob for a night with Idris

Yeah I'm keeping both boobs, thanks; he's not worth that much.😬

I'm actually perplexed that conventionally looking is seen as some sort of offence. Or maybe it's me. I like men, what can I say 🤷‍♀️.

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poppyfields
6 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Yeah I'm keeping both boobs, thanks; he's not worth that much.😬

I'm actually perplexed that conventionally looking is seen as some sort of offence. Or maybe it's me. I like men, what can I say 🤷‍♀️.

Not offensive by any stretch, simply not my typical style tis all.  

 

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2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I'm sorry, but this notion that all women should find R Reynolds good looking and hot based on the fact he's a "movie star" is just so ludicrous, I don't even know where to begin!

It's so extremely shallow and whoever said it must not think very highly of women.  Not to mention if a woman were to use his "movie star" status as a reason for finding him hot, she no doubt would be criticized for that!  

There is a hell of a lot more to a man or anyone than being famous and re his looks, I admit he's classically good looking but I don't particularly like classically good looking model types, I posted that earlier. 

It's not my taste or style and I'm entitled to that without being criticized for it.

Take Richard Ashcroft (former lead singer of the Verve).

After I saw him perform Bittersweet Symphony live, I became sort of obsessed with him! Lol

Not classically handsome by any stretch but damn that man has an aura, an energy, that is what I found and still find incredibly attractive (to me).

He also writes the lyrics to much of his music; the man is a literal genius!  Very much MY style and type.

To the male poster in love with R Reynolds, lol, is this not allowed in your world?  For people to have their own style, taste and type? 

That's pretty rigid thinking imo.

And yes I am in a happy LTR, almost 3 years.  My bf even knew about my mini obsession!  Lol

He was a bit jealous at first but he got over it, he understood it, all in good fun.  :D

But I admit if I were single and met him, I'd go for him in a split second.

Not because he's a famous musician, but because of his aura, his energy, his genius and yes I do happen to like his look too.

Edgy, bad boyish in a way.  Just his looks, he's not a bad boy, he's a happily married man with kids.

$.02.

😱😱

How weird is it i was listening  to bittersweet symphony one day ago.

Love the song, the lyrics Everything!  He is cool! 

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1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

Nah I wouldn’t , cuz I get hit on guys cuter than him.. so why would I 

 

OMG you are so fierce! 

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45 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I find the rr fan boys really fascinating., actually. Best part of the thread. I think men seem a lot more open to variety. Women can be like that, but I notice amongst my friends, most of us have  types (some more than one)
 

I’ll be like, “4 o clock, the guy in glasses  😍” and my friend will say,  “umm no thanks. All yours” . 

 

One of my friends would give her left boob for a night with Idris. She  only finds black guys attractive and  has never seen a black guy she doesn’t find attractive. My other friend can't stand anyone who is clean cut...needs beard and disheveled hair
 

Ryan Reynolds is conventional looking, but not classically handsome. Make him an insurance salesman and I actually think he might struggle a bit with women, depending on his personality. 

Fair enough  everyone has their opinions.

But for the fanboys to start insulting us in every way possible, just because ryan reynolds doesn't do it for us. Is seriously pathetic and beyond immature 😂

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Miss Spider

probably amongst one of the best songs ever written. esp 90s. It's just a dope song.

Edited by Cookiesandough
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2 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Either do I, and if a women doesn't like him she is too picky...
Maybe she loves little fat bald guys, big tall guys, burly tatted guys, weedy guys with specs, guys with foreign accents, guys with red hair, guys who can make her laugh... etc. etc. etc.
RR is a conventional type and many women it seems to me do not not like that type, though quite a lot of men do it seems, so even if he did show up in her life she would still pass.

There are some conventional guys i do find attractive. I just for some reason never found ryan reynolds Th at amazing.

I dont believe  just because  i don't fancy r reynolds that it means i suddenly have to be in to nerds or bald guys. Like what!"😂😂

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