Deleting my dating profile and settling for the next guy I date.

[rjc149]

3 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Ok you're just making things up now and putting words in peoples mouths.

No one said he was ewwww. Just said hes not as attractive as you think he is.

Maybe the male version of julia garner to me.

 

I don't really think I am. I get that this is a long thread at this point, but go back and re-read some of the responses bringing the hammer down on poor Mr. Reynolds. 

You don't think he's as attractive as I think he is. You don't think he's as attractive as a lot of women think he is. We can agree that we each have preferences. We should also agree that Ryan Reynolds is a male sex symbol because he has broad appeal to women. Maybe not to you. But if everyone were on the same page as you and Cookies on RR, he'd be out of a job, right?

Myself, on the other hand, recognize that those who don't conform to my personal preferences, like Scarlet Johansson, are still very attractive people. So I am pointing out a link I see being made on this thread between RR not being one's cup of tea, to RR being downright unattractive. Which, I don't really understand. 

[miranda561]

6 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

I don't really think I am. I get that this is a long thread at this point, but go back and re-read some of the responses bringing the hammer down on poor Mr. Reynolds. 

You don't think he's as attractive as I think he is. You don't think he's as attractive as a lot of women think he is. We can agree that we each have preferences. We should also agree that Ryan Reynolds is a male sex symbol because he has broad appeal to women. Maybe not to you. But if everyone were on the same page as you and Cookies on RR, he'd be out of a job, right?

Myself, on the other hand, recognize that those who don't conform to my personal preferences, like Scarlet Johansson, are still very attractive people. So I am pointing out a link I see being made on this thread between RR not being one's cup of tea, to RR being downright unattractive. Which, I don't really understand. 

He looks average to me. 

If you dont get it? Its fine.

I can't  speak for anyone else just for myself.

I don't  think wow when either i see him or his wife. Or as a collective. 

 

Edited June 10, 2020 by miranda561

[Miss Spider]

Yes. I’m glad we can agree we each have preferences. You are right that many women and men find him sexually attractive.  I (and quite a few women here) simply don't. And  I’m pretty sure Reynolds is not known solely for his looks. He’s not just a model. He’s first an actor, maybe a comedic actor. He obviously has that ability along with charisma, a publicist, and all that stuff...

Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[rjc149]

2 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

He looks average to me. 

If you dont get it? Its fine.

I can't  speak for anyone else just for myself.

 

Nope, I get it just fine lol. 100%. 

[miranda561]

Just now, rjc149 said:

Nope, I get it just fine lol. 100%. 

No you don't since you've  spent the last couple of pages baffled by our views. 😂

I don't  see what you see! Sorry

[rjc149]

2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yes. I’m glad we can agree we each have preferences. You are right that many women and men find him sexually attractive.  I (and quite a few women here) simply don't. And  I’m pretty sure Reynolds is not known solely for his looks. He’s not just a model. He’s first an actor, maybe a comedic actor. He obviously has that ability along with charisma, a publicist, and all that stuff...

He isn't where he is today on his A-list acting abilities, that's for sure. There are better, more talented comedic actors who don't have his celebrity status-- because they aren't as good looking. 

Going back to another point I made, I literally picked his name out of a hat. If Chris Hemsworth is a more palatable stand-in, go with him. To me, they all practically look the same. 

[Versacehottie]

17 hours ago, Hopeful30 said:

Leaving it to fate. I admit the original post came from a place of hurt and frustration. Surprised no one saw that...

I saw it.  Was still trying to talk you off the ledge though.  

From the point of view that you could relax some outward standards or expectations or things you think you would want in who you would date next, I didn't mind the "experiment" because it could lead to something good..  Or came to the next guy with a better mindset and outlook, though it was looking like it is/was not going in that direction.  I hope it does because that will affect the outcome and your choices and your choices of guys.  A frustrated, hurt and "lack of" mindset will work against you finding the right person or even a good person for you. Hopefully, that moment has passed.

[rjc149]

4 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

No you don't since you've  spent the last couple of pages baffled by our views. 😂

I don't  see what you see! Sorry

What I don't get is "RR isn't my cup of tea, I don't think he's the best looking male celebrity" = "RR is facially deformed, I wouldn't even give him a chance."

[miranda561]

2 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

What I don't get is "RR isn't my cup of tea, I don't think he's the best looking male celebrity" = "RR is facially deformed, I wouldn't even give him a chance."

Because im not attracted  to him thats why.

But maybe it would be different in person who knows 

[Miss Spider]

32 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

He isn't where he is today on his A-list acting abilities, that's for sure. There are better, more talented comedic actors who don't have his celebrity status-- because they aren't as good looking. 

Going back to another point I made, I literally picked his name out of a hat. If Chris Hemsworth is a more palatable stand-in, go with him. To me, they all practically look the same. 

That could be true. I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t find him attractive. And I would not date a man who looks like him. That is because I have other options. Now does that mean I think am better than anyone who would?Or that I think he is “repulsive”? Or I think that I would not date him even if I had no other options and he were “the last man on earth”? Not at all. As I said, I only picked apart his appearance to illustrate  that he is not even ‘perfect’l’ by conventional standards( which some people still are not attracted to), so why people were so vehemently arguing against any woman who said he was not her ‘cuppa was especially odd to me. 
 

That’s all.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[CaliforniaGirl]

6 hours ago, stillafool said:

I'm not having any relationship problems either but I'm here.  It's my hang out place.

I won't lie, I'm married but am chronically weird and love to dissect relationships and psych stuff in general. 😂 I'm definitely not the old woman on the hill sitting in peace with herself delivering save advice. I'm more of a friggin' mess. 😂

Plus I like to talk to and hear back from people and this is a fast-paced site that way.

[Backinthesaddleagain]

All this talk of looks makes me want to catfish someone and then start a hilarious thread about it 

[poppyfields]

52 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

What I don't get is "RR isn't my cup of tea, I don't think he's the best looking male celebrity" = "RR is facially deformed, I wouldn't even give him a chance."

I thought I mentioned, model types don't "do it" for me.  Not the type of look I personally like.

I do not find him repulsive and I do think he is good looking, not denying that.

I just prefer a more edgy unconventional look, personality and nature as well.

I say this without ever meeting him, if I ever did meet him who knows but based on looks alone, not my style. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by poppyfields

[Miss Spider]

5 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

All this talk of looks makes me want to catfish someone and then start a hilarious thread about it 

I think thomas1313... already beat you to it

 

Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Backinthesaddleagain]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I think thomas1313... already beat you to it

 

Did he? 😜

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

And personally, Scarlet Johansson doesn't wow me. She's cute. Attractive enough to date for sure. But I'm not getting butterflies by looking at her. And some guys have been like "are you serious dude? Scarlet Johansson? You don't think she's hot??" She's a very good-looking woman, but no, I'm not crazy about her. I think she's a little overrated, in fact. 

Where I think posters are getting just a little too self-indulgent is with "ew Ryan Reynolds? No way. His xyz facial features aren't good enough etc. I would never date him."  Because it's not something I, as a heterosexual man, fully understand. Good looking is good looking to me. If she's good looking, I'll have sex with her. I'm not going to be like "ew, Scarlet Johansson? Her lips are too big, she has a pug nose, her smile is too gummy etc." If she were sitting next to me at a bar, I would chat her up. For sure. 

But maybe it's not self-indulgence, maybe you truly do find Ryan Reynolds repulsive and wouldn't go on a date with him if he were the last man on earth. If that's the case, I find that surprising. But hey, to each their own. If he doesn't float your boat, that's fine. You do you.

Because it isn't even about the exact features, that's the whole point. We are all different but if you're talking *just* looks, which could never happen - we don't take our dates out wrapped up in a box - then saying one particular person is generally "it" isn't accurate. At all.

You asked "what's wrong with him?" and it was in that context - literally just the physical plus "money" - that people answered you, why is that weird?

but of course we were told how wrong and ridiculous we are for not finding what men find handsome to be the be all and end all, so we had to get more and more and more specific.a

Honestly and I don't mean anything mean by this, but it isn't that hard to follow. Same old same old. "You women want X." " No we don't. " "Ha ha, or course you do,we guys know what you want better than you do." Well, no. 😂

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

Is Julia Garner on the level with Emmy Rossum or Jessica Alba? No. She's not conventionally Hollywood gorgeous, she doesn't get cast as "the hot girl" but I think that's where she shines. And yes, I think she is very pretty. Given who I am and the women I've fallen for in the past, she appeals to me.

So I totally understand the individuality of preference. I just don't how that then goes to "ewww" to those who don't conform to that preference.  

Because you're not paying attention. You appear to have your own script of what women really want and it's honestly a bit formulaic, and because you believe in it, anything to the contrary must be nonsense, exaggeration or whatever.

This is a type of disconnect and honestly it's not all that uncommon. It's not just you.

Edited June 10, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

I am merely questioning whether you find Ryan Reynolds unattractive, as in repulsive, or, 'not as attractive as [male celebrity].'

Because I do think that distinction is important for the sake of this discussion. You've made replies here that would indicate you find Ryan Reynolds un-dateably ugly. Which would fall neatly into an LS dichotomy. 

Now that I wouldn't say, personally. I've dated some very unattractive-looking (just genetics-wise) guys and been smitten. If RR had approached me and he wasn't douchey like his acting persona I'm sure I'd have gone out with him.

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

He isn't where he is today on his A-list acting abilities, that's for sure. There are better, more talented comedic actors who don't have his celebrity status-- because they aren't as good looking. 

Going back to another point I made, I literally picked his name out of a hat. If Chris Hemsworth is a more palatable stand-in, go with him. To me, they all practically look the same. 

I'll see your Hemsworth and raise you one Pratt. And NOW we're talkin'. 😁

Because it's not just the looks. The personality, the type of smile, ability to come off as human, humor style, a thousand things go into attraction.

Don't worry so much about Ryan. He's doing okay, he doesn't need our approval so he's good.

 

[Miss Spider]

I've dated some unattractive looking genetics wise guys too and I can say that even without the persona he has I would not date him. I am just not physically attracted to his appearance.

Pratt, Hemsworth, Reynolds are all vastly different looking dudes to me, with different women finding them hot or not

Not really important that he's a celeb and a lot of women find him attractive...not all women are groupies or fame chasers. If they were you then you might as well say no woman would turn down Danny Devito...(which IDK that would be pretty hard to do...it's Danny devito hahah)

Edited June 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Hey rjc149, I loved your characters in Van Wilder & Waiting! Don't listen to these girls, they would date you in a heartbeat. But shouldn't you be out spending money and rubbing elbows with other celebrities instead of chatting with us?

 

                            

[rjc149]

Sorry I was busy furiously masturbating to my Ryan Reynolds posters all over my apartment. Where were we? Ah yes. Being told I lack understanding of female nuance and that I am prescribing women what they should, and shouldn't feel. This chair has gotten pretty cozy. 

I'll just leave it at this: the way I see it, an attractive person is an attractive person. Let's call him X since using actual names is side-tracking this discussion into celebrity hot-or-not. Now, you've got some women here acknowledging X is handsome, but not her cup. You have women here saying X is NOT handsome at all. And you have women here stating that X is actually facially deformed and wouldn't have a chance in Hell with her. 

I employed the example of X, because, without considering the minutiae of his exact facial proportions or the beautiful rainbow of female individuality, he is considered to be an attractive man. That belief was met with somewhat virulent opposition and dissent here, which took me by surprise. Not because I worship X, but because I had a belief that X was generally considered an example of an attractive male. I stand corrected. Very, very corrected. 

Now. What I question is this: do the women who find X hopelessly unattractive say so, because they really think the man is hideous? Or, is it just a hyperbolic way of asserting their opinion that he's not her preference? And the reason I ask is because, similarly, I don't get the hoopla over Scarlet Johansson. She's not my cup. I don't take it up 87 notches to "she's deformed, this, this, and that is messed up with her face, I wouldn't give her the time of day." So maybe that IS just me mansplaining. If so, I humbly concede. 

Look-- if the guy is just not attractive to you, at all, you'd shut his ugly ass down if he approached you at a bar, that's fine. I really don't care why. Your preferences are yours to have. I just find it surprising, because it undid a previous belief I once held that X was a good example of a conventionally handsome guy. My mind has been expanded. 

 

Edited June 10, 2020 by rjc149

[rjc149]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

I thought I mentioned, model types don't "do it" for me.  Not the type of look I personally like.

I do not find him repulsive and I do think he is good looking, not denying that.

I just prefer a more edgy unconventional look, personality and nature as well.

I say this without ever meeting him, if I ever did meet him who knows but based on looks alone, not my style. 

You're not the one making that = bridge. 

[rjc149]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

but of course we were told how wrong and ridiculous we are for not finding what men find handsome to be the be all and end all, so we had to get more and more and more specific.a

There's nothing wrong with not thinking RR is the bee's knees. There's nothing wrong with finding him deformed and hideous either. I just find the latter to be surprising and pretty extreme. I once thought it could be universally agreed upon that RR is a handsome guy, regardless of if his "look" appeals to you personally. But if you really believe he's gross, I'll back off. To each their own. 

 

[poppyfields]

28 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

You're not the one making that = bridge. 

Well I did say he wasn't my cup of tea (which you mentioned) so.....