softball88 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Me : I just don't want you doing things you don't want to just because of how I might feel, you know what I mean? Him: I do know what you mean and I don't plan to. But I don't want you to feel like I'm using you. Me: Please don't worry about that. Just do what you need to do. Him: I'll try to. Me: Or you can just do it. .................................... A convo me and my friends with benefits were having. He's always worried that I feel he's using me or that he I think that he thinks of me as an object, because it makes him feel gross. I'm not sure why he keeps saying this? I told him not to worry about it but he does. Why cant he just forget about what I think or feel? I mean we're just FWB 🤷 Please help me out. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Remind him that you are an adult. You have the ability to say no. You are enjoying the benefits as much as he is & you always retain the freedom to leave if this stops working for you. Thank him for being concerned about you but tell him he doesn't have to worry. You will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 The reason he brought the subject up is because he knows he's using you and feels guilty. He's terrified you will catch on and wants to find out if that is the case. So he can sleep at night. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 It sounds like a circular conversation. If you truly think he is projecting tell him so. If you truly feel okay with being just FWB and don't want more, then tell him so. If after you tell him that, he keeps bringing all this up, tell him that you don't want to hear him bring it up anymore. If on the other hand, you actually do want more than FWB with him but are just going along with it because it's what he wants, then I don't blame him for constantly feeling guilty and bringing it up. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 How long have you been FWB? I had a year long FWB situation with an existing friend, and we had that conversation once, at the beginning. We were then both comfortable that we were being honest with each other and didn't need to keep bringing it up. Six months after ending it we're still great friends, it was a mutual thing and we trusted each other. I think that's the key to making it work with no bad feelings on either side. Link to post Share on other sites
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