new man and friend: grinding on dance floor?? what the F@$&!!!!

[chichi]

well here is another problem i am dealing with.....well me and this guy have been dealing with alot of issues latley....if you dont know what is going on go to my other thread in friends or lovers....

 

well it is sunday and last night me and alot of my friends went out to a local bar that we always go to....well me and the man had talked earlier yesterday and i knew he was going out so i would meet up with him later....well i show up and he was already there...

 

i walked up to him and gave him a kiss and then i walked away because im trying not to be all over him even though i want to so bad. well we didnt really talk last night but he was all over this friend of ours and i didnt understand if he could be all over her than why couldnt he be all over me like that so i was really upset. i mean they were grinding on eackother all night long!!!!!

 

well him and this friend of ours have been really close lately and i know they are frinds but i dont understand why they would be like that when i was sitting right there. this friend knows about me and him and knows everything we are going through. she is even the one that kinda got us together she came up to me and told me that he liked me and really cares about me and wanted to start this with me. so what the f@$% is she doing fu$#@%^ this up for me why would she tell me that if really she wanted to be with him and if not why would they be like that???? please help ne

[hooghie]

This 'friend'- was she his friend first? If so, How long have they been friends? How close are they? Has anything ever happened between them?

 

I think I can better comment if I know the answers to the above.

[chichi]

they were ok friends but not really close. they havent done anything that i know of. they have known eachother for years but never really talked that much.

[hooghie]

I'm wondering if he wants her and she knows that, but has rejected him- yet still likes the attention. I say that because I don't see why she made a point of telling you that he really likes you. Maybe she noticed that it bothered you and was being a friend? If I were a friend of the two of you and this happened- I would tell him that he should be paying more attention to YOU and would never allow my friend's man pay more attention to me than my friend.

 

Did you talk to him about it? Maybe you should ask him why he can be affectionate with her in public and not you.

 

Also, I don't know how bad the grinding was, but some things cross the line. At a minimum, it sounds like he disrespected you.

[PuffyShirt]

Considering no one knows the situation better than you I will pass along the one thing I believe applies to everybody's situation. This is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are being cheated on you probably are. If you feel they are spiting you then they probably are. From your story it sounds like you are being played. I hate to say it considering it's probably what you don't want to hear. If you want to save yourself some heartbreak you should get away from the situation. If you still care this will be terribly difficult, as i'm going through a horrible mess myself, and unless you are a sucker for punishment, like me, then run for the hills.

[loony]

i mean they were grinding on eackother all night long!!!!!

You don't have to wonder about the relationship between your boyfriend and his friend, what she wants or not, how he feels for her or not. Forget the complex approach to understanding this situation and simply dump him. This is all I think needs to be said in inr regard to your situation. What they did, was simply serious enough to break it off without bothering to dig for further reason. Don't worry about your boyfriend, because no guy who has some sense of decency would do this, no matter how angry he was or how seductive his friend behaved. Also stop contact with his friend.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Remember this?

 

...here is the problem when we are in front of people he doesnt act like we are together he kisses me every blue moon but when we are alone he is all over me i have asked him about this and he told me that he is just not the type of guy to be all over someone.

 

This was the FWB that turned into a relationship just a couple of weeks ago? Its only been two weeks, and already he is doing something like this. My guess? She is his new FWB - hence why they have been so "close" lately.

 

Whatever the case, there is absolutely no reason to stick around to find out. You have already been hurt by this guy who used you as his FWB. You remove yourself from a situation in which you can be hurt, and he asks you to 'date' him. Then he won't show you affection in public, or let you show him affection because he "isn't that kind of guy". And now, you walk into a club and all of a sudden he IS that type of guy, but with ANOTHER GIRL?

 

1. this friend knows about me and him and knows everything we are going through.

2. she is even the one that kinda got us together she came up to me and told me that he liked me and really cares about me and wanted to start this with me.

3. so what the f@$% is she doing fu$#@%^ this up for me why would she tell me that if really she wanted to be with him and if not why would they be like that????

 

1. How convenient. That gives her complete access to your weaknesses. She talks about your 'problems' and can use them to her advantage.

 

2. Perhaps she knew that if she convinced him to 'date' you, that it would sour quickly, and with some "help" and "encouragement" from her she could manipulate the situation in such a way where he ends up not even wanting a FWB thing with you.

 

3. My guess is that she is a FWB too, and found a way to edge you out and replace you with herself.