Ellener Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 I decided to deactivate my OLD profile once the membership runs out, I said I would do it for a year and see if it was a good way to meet someone for a long term relationship. Have been talking to interesting people, it's just too many things to align for a long term relationship though I think! I need to do a few classes or groups after the pandemic so maybe meet people ( or friends of people ) through that next. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 Good luck, your enjoying it is the main thing, a bonus if you find the relationship. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted June 9, 2020 Author Share Posted June 9, 2020 Thanks @Foxhall Interestingly since I deactivated the match.com website seems worse again, maybe it's down or something, but it's not showing who is active on their accounts...and I'm getting sent 'matches' I have already seen and removed from search. I want to think it's a coincidence! but remembered the lawsuit...funny enough I had decided to stop now because to make the website more useful for me, who doesn't want to be conversing with multiple people, I would need to purchase another level 'choose who can see you' so only people I might be interested in can see my profile. Then presumably learn how to use that so it works. Anything this complicated isn't for me, that's for sure! Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 That thing sounds effg ridiculous , why not just join one of the others ? And don't worry l closed mine down over 2yrs ago and they're still sending me matches, someone was saying in another thread they all do it when you leave. l've been wondering lately if l was to end up single again, what l would do , or would l even bother. Can't even remember how l use to meet girls way back before l was married and date sites , just around l think , through something l was doing or a friend of a friend or something. l wonder how many people or percentage don't use date sites now . l only used one 6wks the first time after my marriage and 5wks the second time. Met one gf in a forum, my gf now l met on the second date site time but that was just shear luck that she and l both just happened to be on it at the time as l doubt very much l would've found someone suitable apart from her on there . Seems to be the way these days though doesn't it , if forums are any real indication which l'm not even sure if they even are or not tbh . Only know a couple of single people now in RL and they either use them or gave up and just stay single. Surprised to hear my brother 50s uses them too. My situation although we have no doubt we want to stay together , marry , she has a lot of problems up home that have often and still are making things a little touch and go and anything could happen right now yet which has had me thinking about all this stuff too and the what ifs . But with reading and hearing about date sites , l think l got my one and only chance as it sounds like from stories from far and wide that was my lucky day so l dunno if l'd even bother again with the odds from what l hear. Don't have much of a social life gf and l both like doing our thing and neither are too fussed with any of that so if l happen to and up single again well , doubt l'd b bumping into anyone much so l can well appreciate what you must go through . Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 12 hours ago, Ellener said: I decided to deactivate my OLD profile once the membership runs out, I said I would do it for a year and see if it was a good way to meet someone for a long term relationship. Have been talking to interesting people, it's just too many things to align for a long term relationship though I think! I need to do a few classes or groups after the pandemic so maybe meet people ( or friends of people ) through that next. I listened to an interesting dating related podcast yesterday, simply too people who met, did a very long distance relationship, make it work, moved it and got married, their thoughts on meeting people, how to meet people, OLD and the overriding them was you need to meet people, wherever just meet people and just be nice to people. Perhaps OLD makes us forget the meeting part as we become so into who that next match might be and how to find someone who fits into our list of "requirements". 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 l think it does really mess with people from reading about in forums. And there seems to be so much cat and mouse out there revolving around date site interaction too. We're long distance incedently , we're part time for now, if she can sort out her legal crap up home she'll move down soon, she's interstate. Comes down to mine a few mths a time that's not an issue two people can work that out if they're serious , it's mainly her legal crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 7 hours ago, chillii said: if l happen to and up single again well , doubt l'd b bumping into anyone much so l can well appreciate what you must go through . I talked to one of my friends yesterday, she's a popular local gp, and she met and dated a well-regarded local architect. He hit her. So I am just seeing the 'irritation' side of OLD. But there is a whole darker side too I think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 5 hours ago, ZA Dater said: I listened to an interesting dating related podcast yesterday, simply too people who met, did a very long distance relationship, make it work, moved it and got married, their thoughts on meeting people, how to meet people, OLD and the overriding them was you need to meet people, wherever just meet people and just be nice to people. Perhaps OLD makes us forget the meeting part as we become so into who that next match might be and how to find someone who fits into our list of "requirements". Am I misunderstanding this? Meeting the other person is an essential part of OLD. No meet, not dating. 🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Ellener said: I talked to one of my friends yesterday, she's a popular local gp, and she met and dated a well-regarded local architect. He hit her. So I am just seeing the 'irritation' side of OLD. But there is a whole darker side too I think. If she had met the man in a line of the supermarket, or in a bar, etc. the same exact thing could have happened. This is about getting to know someone. OLD profiles and meeting someone in a supermarket line all involve first impressions and then subsequent, physical dates to get to know someone. Every attempt should be made to find out about the other person regardless of how you met. I am a firm believer in googling the crap out of someone and trying to find out as much as possible, before meeting, if possible. Ironically, there is less of a chance to find out about someone you just meet at a grocery store line than someone online, initially. Edited June 10, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 9 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Am I misunderstanding this? Meeting the other person is an essential part of OLD. No meet, not dating. 🤔 My point, perhaps not completely clear is that perhaps LESS OLD and more just trying to meet people without OLD is maybe a better avenue when I look at the very inherent limitations and issues with OLD in general 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) Cancel Edited June 10, 2020 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 53 minutes ago, Ellener said: I talked to one of my friends yesterday, she's a popular local gp, and she met and dated a well-regarded local architect. He hit her. So I am just seeing the 'irritation' side of OLD. But there is a whole darker side too I think. Yeah it is a whole nother world , even though l had such a short little stint with it , lt's still embedded , which says a lot. l was extremely selective and so only talked to and met a few women and as soon as l saw mine l knew that was that , and luckily she got exactly the same. Buttt, as l say l wouldn't expect to find that again on a date site so the what if's , ifff's . l really hate to think tbh. Nice to hear of your friend, l suppose we all use to meet that way years ago, dunno if people even do that anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Envy123 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 2 hours ago, ZA Dater said: My point, perhaps not completely clear is that perhaps LESS OLD and more just trying to meet people without OLD is maybe a better avenue when I look at the very inherent limitations and issues with OLD in general Offline, I meet more women who overlook my beer belly but OLD photos of me are not flattering at all, so I didn't have success in OLD. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Envy123 said: Offline, I meet more women who overlook my beer belly but OLD photos of me are not flattering at all, so I didn't have success in OLD. I hear you! I am not overweight but one of the guys I talked to during lockdown could not get past my potential appearance.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 5 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Ironically, there is less of a chance to find out about someone you just meet at a grocery store line than someone online, initially. I know. Weird isn't it! Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 41 minutes ago, Ellener said: I know. Weird isn't it! I actually had a woman say that she will not date anyone that doesn't have a presence on social media. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Ha , l wouldn't want someone that does . We're not into any of it . such bs. She like watching ytube crap and l'm in a few forums that's about as social bs media as we get. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted June 11, 2020 Author Share Posted June 11, 2020 10 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I actually had a woman say that she will not date anyone that doesn't have a presence on social media. Blimey, with you on that @chillii LS is the only social website I visit daily ( way too much since lockdown ) I dropped facebook years ago, never even tried the others, life's too short to live online ( yes I know there's irony in typing that! ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 Haaa good for you yep we're still around don't worry , ex was the same saw right through it all wouldn't touch any of it. When l read things like what gr8 just said l just think damn , whata fool woman , no great loss. But it's mind boggling how seriously so many take that bs isn't it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 lol I've decided to come off OLD as in the past 5 years I haven't had a single meaningful relationship with anyone through it (although I have via real life/ social/ meet-up etc), and its only worse now in the current situation with both the practicality and the perception of progressing to meeting since Covid. I disconnected from Facebook last year also, so I am not on social media at all! Loveshack still here though Link to post Share on other sites
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