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Staying with family . does this make me a loser?


PKrueger24

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I will preface this by saying that  work as a teacher [despite my admittedly poor writing skills], but due to a difficult job market I have never been able to land a permanent job. Because my most recent job ended with the COVID-19 outbreak, I am currently back on the job hunt. At the same time, I have recently been accepted to study for my Master of Arts degree in September, which would take one full year of study. The degree cannot be completed online and students must be I school for the entire calendar year [that is, it is not possible to complete a couple of courses over the summer when public schools ends].

The problem is that there are virtually no job opportunities in the same city as the university, so accepting a teaching position would mean leaving the city and not have the opportunity to complete the MA. On the other hand, completing the degree would mean staying with my parents, as they do live in the city. They have said they do not mind having me if I am unable to land a job this year and as long as I maintain some sort of part-time work while attending graduate school.

The benefits of having an MA include a significant raise when I do land a job and an increased likelihood of finding employment. On the other hand, being an 27-year old unemployed teacher who lives with his parents while pursuing a degree and working in a grocery store part time makes me feel like an enormous loser.

What do you think?

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I lived at home until I was 24 while attending graduate school.  I did not consider myself a loser.  

If you were home doing nothing that would be one thing but saving money on rent while going to school is simply practical.  

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Fresh_Start

You're too concerned with how others might perceive it.  If it's not a permanent living arrangement while you work towards attaining a better future for yourself then focus on the finish line and what your situation will be like when you get there.  If anyone has to know about it and thinks less of you because of it, they aren't worth knowing. 

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1 hour ago, PKrueger24 said:

I will preface this by saying that  work as a teacher [despite my admittedly poor writing skills], but due to a difficult job market I have never been able to land a permanent job. Because my most recent job ended with the COVID-19 outbreak, I am currently back on the job hunt. At the same time, I have recently been accepted to study for my Master of Arts degree in September, which would take one full year of study. The degree cannot be completed online and students must be I school for the entire calendar year [that is, it is not possible to complete a couple of courses over the summer when public schools ends].

The problem is that there are virtually no job opportunities in the same city as the university, so accepting a teaching position would mean leaving the city and not have the opportunity to complete the MA. On the other hand, completing the degree would mean staying with my parents, as they do live in the city. They have said they do not mind having me if I am unable to land a job this year and as long as I maintain some sort of part-time work while attending graduate school.

The benefits of having an MA include a significant raise when I do land a job and an increased likelihood of finding employment. On the other hand, being an 27-year old unemployed teacher who lives with his parents while pursuing a degree and working in a grocery store part time makes me feel like an enormous loser.

What do you think?

Not at all. I'm 37 years old. I'm single. I am a carpenter. I rent a house. I'd trade places with you. 

 

 

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In my community we tend to stay at home much longer than others. 
There’s no “18 and you’re out”.

 

However, we start contributing to the household as soon as we work. For me ( and many of my friends) that was with my first part time job while at university. 
 

There were a number of ways we would contribute. Buy some essentials like bread, milk and whatever. 
paid part of the electricity bill. 
We also cleaned the house. By the time I was 13, I was responsible for cleaning my room and all communal areas
 

with a full time job you give more. Maybe pay rent or buy whatever is needed. Parents never asked but we all gave. 
 

All this to say, if you’re back home, I wouldn’t look at you as a loser or whatever for being there, but I would if you didn’t pull your weight. 

I’ve just finished a Masters 20 years after my last graduation, and I lived with my sister and her husband. 
I paid rent with a part time job and helped around the house with cooking, cleaning and taking care of the dogs. 
Nobody asked me to  

I had no life or money because after tuition  was paid I was dead ass broke but I didn’t feel like a loser because I didn’t sponge off anyone.  
 

if you’re pulling your weight and anyone thinks you’re a loser they’re not worth hanging around. 
 

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You're not a loser if you're getting your masters.  To me that's an endeavor that you should be proud of.  Who cares if you need to temporarily stay with your parents for a year in order to make it work.... that is seriously no big deal.  Do whatever works best for you financially and career-wise.  You are investing in your future and a year goes by so fast.

A person who is living with their parents and not working, not going to school, not doing anything.... to me that's what a loser is.  

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If you were staying at your parents partying, smoking dope, playing video games and talking to anyone who would listen about all the great plans you have for the future, then you could consider yourself a loser.

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  • 1 month later...

Not in day and age.  The job market has been so unstable for the last 12 years.  I would love the opportunity to stay at my parents house so I could take the time to get a full time job and get my crap together instead of working temp/contract jobs for the past years but that is not an option.   

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've lived with my mother several times in my adult life, including once with my wife when our home was being remodeled. About 13 or 14 years ago, I moved in with my mom after living overseas for 4 1/2 years and not really knowing how to readjust to life back in the States. I admit that I felt then that I was kind of a loser, but I also had a plan to move out, and that made me feel better about myself.

I think the thing is to write down a plan of action - that by itself will make you feel better because you'll feel like you're doing something about your situation. Write down in step-by-step detail how your move out is going to go down, and when. Don't feel discouraged if you have to revise the plan a little in a few months (COVID is changing everyone's plans, not just yours, lol). Right now, the main thing is to avoid getting sick. Whatever you do, don't . get . sick

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I stayed home during the 08 recession because I couldnt find work like many my age. I did not think I was a loser until some (not all) folks here decided to shame me for it.... I am glad to see the vibe on here has changed. You are not a loser by any means and dont let ANYONE tell you different. You are trying to further your life and using the resources you have.

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8 hours ago, siren8272 said:

I stayed home during the 08 recession because I couldnt find work like many my age. I did not think I was a loser until some (not all) folks here decided to shame me for it.... I am glad to see the vibe on here has changed. You are not a loser by any means and dont let ANYONE tell you different. You are trying to further your life and using the resources you have.

Yeah you have to block out what some people say. It's really how you feel about yourself and what you're working toward that matters. Right now is right now; keep working toward a tomorrow.

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Fletch Lives

Lol, there is nothing wrong with living with family, family is good! Haven't you people ever seen The Waltons?!

One thing you need to realize about respect and status - no matter how good you are, there will be people who don't approve of you.........so do what you want and don't worry about how others or society judges you........ then you will become confident......... and friends, supporters, and lovers will bubble to the surface and seek you out. Winners don't care what people think about them, they just do the right thing and choose their friends wisely. Let the dogs bark but the caravan will move on.

God does not respect any one person above another.

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On 6/10/2020 at 5:09 PM, PKrueger24 said:

I

Are you serious?? You're ambitious, not a loser at all.

What I think is that you're young and still way too sensitive about what others might think. You'll get over that in time.

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