Polarization makes it hard to keep friends

[Redhead14]

Polarization has always been a "thing".  There is a very old saying that says "Politics and religion make strange bedfellows".  That's been around forever.  Way before now.  The difference is that not virtually every single person on the planet had a bull horn (i.e. Twitter, Facebook, et al) to blast their opinions, right or wrong, informed or uninformed, etc. to the masses.  It used to be that, eh, a few people were sitting around in their backyard or around the dinner table pontificating and arguing about candidates and politicians and Presidents but it wasn't broadcast to the world.  But the conventional wisdom was always to just shut the hell up about it all when it strained a friendship or relationship.  That is good advice for these times.  And, stop blabbing about bulls*** on platforms that were intended to be fun/interesting and nice ways to keep in touch with friends and family.   

[gaius]

My only advice other than to not bother with having friends at all is when you're dealing with people like this you can be diplomatic but also sensible. Whenever I get stuck in a conversation with Italian plumbing guy (guy down the street from me who believed we were safe from covid because we had better plumbing than Italy) I'll usually let him ramble a little, give him a certain level of respect but interject occasionally in a nice way with reality. Like how at the time it was already wiping out 30-40% of the residents in some nursing homes over here. Whether it made a difference or not who knows but it's better than not having any conversation at all.

At the end of the day the main challenge facing rational people today isn't racism. It's preventing America from falling into it's own destructive form of cultural revolution. From becoming a new dysfunctional theocracy based around race. Where no thoughts or opinions other than those of the church are allowed. And you can't do that if you don't engage or associate with those who are pushing for it.

If the price for standing up for what's right is you don't get invited to the golf game, or you get called a racist by people who live in gated communities designed to keep blacks out then so be it. It's just the burden our generation has to bear. And overall we've still got it pretty good. Beats standing in formation with 299 other guys in a fight to the death with 100,000 Persians who probably hadn't bathed in weeks.

[QuietRiot]

On 6/10/2020 at 11:34 PM, ShyViolet said:

I'm assuming you are in the US.  Our country is more polarized than ever, and that's just an unfortunate reality.  I will resist the temptation to get into the issues.  But honestly I would not be able to be friends with someone who has opposite political views as mine, not in this political climate, not with what we know about the world and all that is going on.  I find people on the opposite end of the spectrum reprehensible and I can't just hang out with them and pretend everything is ok.  These issues do matter a lot.

Right, and with this mask/no-mask division, it has actually caused me to even severe ties with some friends...depending on their attitude. I have unfriended friends due to seeing pictures of them at Trump rallies, face-to-face, enabling the spread of Covid.  Though they were mostly casual friends, it sealed the deal with me to unfriend them.

[schlumpy]

1 hour ago, QuietRiot said:

Right, and with this mask/no-mask division, it has actually caused me to even severe ties with some friends...depending on their attitude. I have unfriended friends due to seeing pictures of them at Trump rallies, face-to-face, enabling the spread of Covid.  Though they were mostly casual friends, it sealed the deal with me to unfriend them.

I imagine it feels really good to X them out, but you are just giving vent to your feelings. Friends should be dumped when they do things against your personal interest, steal your girl friend, or sabotage you with the boss in the workplace. What your friends are doing is simply pursuing their own interests. Who they vote for may tick you off but will have very little effect on your life.

I got ticked at one my friends for going to Hawaii and wasting his time on the beach when he could have been ogling that active volcano. I didn't unfriend him. even if he is an idiot. That was very important compared to your reasons.

[Starswillshine]

It is dangerous to live in an echo chamber. It leaves little room for growth.  To me, it's important to have friends with all different backgrounds, ethnicity, political views, etc. My political views have changed and morphed over time, as I think many people's do. I think right now, there is a push to cancel anyone or anything that does not believe the same as oneself, which is sad. I have seen far too many people put on social media, "If you are RepubliKKKan, unfriend me now" with no desire to know why they may vote republican. For instance, I have a lot of friends who are sternly pro-life, otherwise, they are pretty liberal. But they will not vote for a democrat because they view abortion as murder. I don't agree with them, but I can definitely understand how they may feel that way. I'm not going to unfriend. And for the friends who just put all republicans in one basket, that's pretty disgusting. I have found I have started distancing myself from those people who only want to live in an echo chamber. Because once they do, they just become more and more extreme. It is important to listen to other viewpoints besides your own and come to an understanding of why someone feels the way they do before just jumping the gun and x'ing them out because they do not believe the same way. Most people would be surprised to learn their assumptions are just plain wrong. It is sad to watch what is going on in the US right now. 

In short, I feel you! It has been difficult. I do not want to unfriend anyone over it because I want to understand, but it is hard to watch each side be so hard core "stuck" on their own beliefs without opening ears to understand.