Should I confess??

[Cocoa]

My girlfriend and I have been together for about two months now. She works crazy hours and we hardly ever get to see each other. I know for a fact that I'm in love with her because of how perfect she is for me and the way I am when I'm with her. I seem to be more confident, cool, caring, generous, and open when her and I are together. I've told her that and she's said the exact same thing to me. But recently I opened up a hotmail address using an unknown name that I made up and told my girlfriend that a female friend of mine wants to email her. I told her that I went ahead and gave her email address to her. So what I did was I wrote to her on the hotmail address and pretended to be the female friend that I told her about. I just did that to find out what she really thinks of me. Because I guess I'm afraid of rejection, or I'm just afraid that she doesn't love me like I love her. But she replied to the message that I sent her and everything that she said in the reply were good things. Now I don't know wether I should tell her the truth or keep the whole thing going. Because I know that if I keep it going then it will probably backfire, but on the other hand (honestly), it is kind of fun to find out the way she talks to other people about me. So should I just fess up and tell her that it is me sending those messages, or should I just stop, or should I keep it going, or what?

[Tony T]

You fess up to this and if she's any kind of a decent person at all she will break up with you immediately. What you have done is immoral, unethical, underhanded, backslapping, slimey, sleezy, rotten...well, you get the idea.

 

Frankly, the only reason you would tell her is if you want to be compassionate with her and let her know just what kind of behavior you are capable of. If you have got to do things like this you obviously don't really believe what you wrote about her being the perfect person for you.

 

If I ever found out someone I was dated was writing me as a different person with a fake address, they would be instant history. A person who doesn't trust the honesty of others cannot be trusted themselves.

 

Another thing that really bothered me about your post. YOUR WROTE: "I seem to be more confident, cool, caring, generous, and open when her and I are together."

 

Sounds pretty phoney to me. I mean if you have to increase your capacity for caring, generosity and openness just to impress this chick, that's not you. Let me tell you, in time you'll fall back to the level you REALLY are. She's likely to be very disappointed if you're really being phoney now. Just be yourself. You should show your lady special attention because you are dating her but your status as a good person shouldn't have to be exagerated for her. That's just plain phoney.

 

Anyway, if and when she finds out about the hotmail, you're history anyway. If you told one person, even your dog, I promise she will find out in time. Don't do something stupid like that again. Think about how YOU would feel if she did that to you. And you say you are more CARING AND OPEN with her????? YUK!!!!

[Tony T]

Sorry if I sounded so nasty. What you did was really nasty. I'll get over it.

[sparkle]

Tony's right about everything he said.

 

If you confess, she will most likely break up with you. I would just stop the emails, cut them off completely, and never mention them again.

[wombat]

nice to see that there's plenty of deceit and immaturity in your relationship. do you always play these childish games? i suggest you have your "imaginary friend" just stop mailing her, you go and buy a clue and then get a grip.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about two months now. She works crazy hours and we hardly ever get to see each other. I know for a fact that I'm in love with her because of how perfect she is for me and the way I am when I'm with her. I seem to be more confident, cool, caring, generous, and open when her and I are together. I've told her that and she's said the exact same thing to me. But recently I opened up a hotmail address using an unknown name that I made up and told my girlfriend that a female friend of mine wants to email her. I told her that I went ahead and gave her email address to her. So what I did was I wrote to her on the hotmail address and pretended to be the female friend that I told her about. I just did that to find out what she really thinks of me. Because I guess I'm afraid of rejection, or I'm just afraid that she doesn't love me like I love her. But she replied to the message that I sent her and everything that she said in the reply were good things. Now I don't know wether I should tell her the truth or keep the whole thing going. Because I know that if I keep it going then it will probably backfire, but on the other hand (honestly), it is kind of fun to find out the way she talks to other people about me. So should I just fess up and tell her that it is me sending those messages, or should I just stop, or should I keep it going, or what?