Is this worth saving?

[loney_girl]

At the  beginning of the year I became friends with a woman who is the ex of a longtime friend. I had met her once of twice over the years but we never really spoke to each other. It was suggested to us by my friend that we might make a good pair as we have a lot in common. Her and I began spending a lot of time together and then Covid happened. I was finding her a little smothering because I started working from home and she would call me 4 or 5 times a day while I was trying to work. 

One night while she was drunk at home, she IM'd a man I was interested in, but too afraid to initiate conversation with.  She let him know I was interested and he began messaging me. He and I began talking daily and when restrictions loosened in my town, we started spending a lot of time together physically.  He has a child who he has partial custody of. Essentially when he wasn't with his daughter, and I wasn't working, he was with me. When I wasn't with him, I would spend that time with my friend. I was still spending a large amount of time with her, having the multiple daily phone calls, and she would even call me mutiple times while I was spending time with him (which she knew). She started to seem agitated when I had plans with him and would try to get me to cancel to be with her. 

She began trying to give me unsolicited dating advice which I didn't appreciate because it consisted of her trying to get me to play weird head games with him. She started getting agitated that he and I didn't "become official" immeditely and started saying things to me like he was using me because he was bored and things of that nature. She thought I should start freaking out at him and force him into a relationship or leave. I told her to chill out and that he and I were still getting to know each other. She would become aggressive in her comments about him and I started to feel uncomfortable talking about him with her. It has still only been 2 months since he and I began talking to each other.  

Some dramatic things happened in my life last weekend which I won't get into but I was quite upset about it. I was speaking with her on the phone talking about my feelings regarding those events when she tries to sidetrack the conversation in the direction of the guy I'm seeing using me.  I told her if that is what she wanted to talk about, then I wasn't interested in continuing talking. She got mad and hung up on me. Two days later she sent me a large text message telling me off for being immature and childish and for hanging up on her. I was confused and told her she had hung up on me and I had only said I hadn't wanted to talk about my relationship. She then told me she had just re-read through her conversation with my guy and realized he had tried to sleep with her. I had a  WTF moment and she was being quite vicious so we ended the conversation.

I saw him the next day and asked him about it. He pulled out his phone and let me read the entire conversation they had. I guess I could see where she may have misunderstood something he said but he definitely did not try to sleep with her.

Her ex contacted me and told me her version of events which was completely fabricated. She said my guy blew me off for a date that weekend and then messaged her and asked if they could hook up instead. 

I asked her to send me the messages she was talking about and she said she deleted them.  So I asked if they had ever spoke again after that first night and she said no and lost it on me via text saying that I was accusing her of flirting and trying to sleep with him. She berated me for a while in that manner and began insulting him as well. I stopped responding to her. I had been trying to have a rational conversation and get to the facts but it really wasn't happening. Her story wasn't adding up but I hadn't accused her of anything. I had only asked her those two questions. Based on the conversation my guy showed me and her version of events, either he had deleted messages or she was lying. If they hadn't spoken again then her story was false. I did not say this to her though.

I don't know if this friendship is worth saving or if I should just let it go. I don't even know how to deal with her. 

 

 

[not_today]

Hi, I'm not usually one to give advice but I trust my instinct. If she's important enough to you then the friendship is worth saving, but only you know that. My instinct though says she's not worth it.  Move on.

[Stevnx3]

I'd be quick to make sure that this "friendship" is over. She is nuts! Controlling. She is the immature one: Head games.

I'd stop communication completely with her. But do be prepared, if you do. This girl will likely bring more trouble after the fact. 

 

Again: Not worth it.

[ShyViolet]

Umm, NO this friendship is not worth saving.  This girl is completely crazy and mentally unstable.  Why on earth would you want to be friends with a person like that?  Cut off contact with her.