Would you date/what are your thoughts people who go 'clubbing'

[Cookiesandough]

I started talking to this guy(35) who seems very immersed in “clubbing culture”.

 

I guess I’ve always found clubbing a bit sad, like a bunch of lonely, drunk  people packed into a venue  like sardines, sweating and doing a mating dances... (that’s probably just my ignorance and experience with them. )

 

I saw on his Facebook that he checks into clubs pretty much every weekend and sometimes on weekdays... He is 35 and owns a car shop for a living.. I’m just going out and say it .. He seems very “chad” 

 

i’m in my late 20s, so I’m just at a point my life where I’m not looking to spend that much time in the club. (Isn’t 35 a bit old for it? Maybe not) I’ve actually never been that person. I am more the type to sit in the park and read... 

 

Wpuld you date someone who goes clubbing a lot? Why or why not? 

Edited June 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[basil67]

I'm 52 and go to goth clubs with 58yo hubby and our mates.   We are kind of 'goth for the night' but our mates have been connected to the scene since the 90's.   The clubs are a welcoming environment where behaviour is better than any mainstream event I've been to.   A woman can come on her own and dance safely without being harassed for a date or a dance.   The amount of water consumed is far higher than alcohol and if there is drug use, it's not obvious.   It's rare to see someone who's drunk and stupid.  Of course there are younger goths too, right down to our daughter who sometimes comes clubbing with us.    

I guess my point is that not all clubs are the same.   I would be sad to be viewed as too old to dance the night away.    If (heaven forbid) I was single again, I'd suggest the new guy don some black clothes and come clubbing with me.

 

Edited June 15, 2020 by basil67

[Cookiesandough]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I'm 52 and go to goth clubs with 58yo hubby and our mates.   We are kind of 'goth for the night' but our mates have been connected to the scene since the 90's.   The clubs are a welcoming environment where behaviour is better than any mainstream event I've been to.   A woman can come on her own and dance safely without being harassed for a date or a dance.   The amount of water consumed is far higher than alcohol and if there is drug use, it's not obvious.   It's rare to see someone who's drunk and stupid.  Of course there are younger goths too, right down to our daughter who sometimes comes clubbing with us.    

I guess my point is that not all clubs are the same.   I would be sad to be viewed as too old to dance the night away.    If (heaven forbid) I was single again, I'd suggest the new guy don some black clothes and come clubbing with me.

 

Oh my gosh, that’s awesome haha. I go to the once a month goth night in my city too. I don’t even classify it as the same thing. You’re right. 

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Oh my gosh, that’s awesome haha. I go to the once a month goth night in my city too. I don’t even classify it as the same thing. You’re right. 

Cool!  Yep, never too old to dance.  But if he's there hitting on 23yos, then it's Ick

[Realitysux]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

I started talking to this guy(35) who seems very immersed in “clubbing culture”.

 

I guess I’ve always found clubbing a bit sad, like a bunch of lonely, drunk  people packed into a venue  like sardines, sweating and doing a mating dances... (that’s probably just my ignorance and experience with them. )

 

I saw on his Facebook that he checks into clubs pretty much every weekend and sometimes on weekdays... He is 35 and owns a car shop for a living.. I’m just going out and say it .. He seems very “chad” 

 

i’m in my late 20s, so I’m just at a point my life where I’m not looking to spend that much time in the club. (Isn’t 35 a bit old for it? Maybe not) I’ve actually never been that person. I am more the type to sit in the park and read... 

 

Wpuld you date someone who goes clubbing a lot? Why or why not? 

😢 .. we are too old for the club

Edited June 15, 2020 by Realitysux

[mark clemson]

IF I was single, I would probably consider doing that as one avenue to meet new people (including women). However, I'm quite a bit old for that scene, so I suspect I'd have limited "success" if any. If single, I would take multiple avenues to meet women. There's nothing particularly wrong with meeting one in a club if that's what happens to happen.

There are those who simply like that sort of thing, dancing, drinking, the occasional ONS or what have you, even later in life. That's not me, so I'd have limited engagement.

[ShyViolet]

I used to be into going "clubbing"... when I was in my 20's.  Then I grew up and grew out of it, and found other things that I'd rather do.  I find 35 to be a little old to still be immersed in that lifestyle.  It's kind of shallow and immature.  I would never date someone who is really into that.

[Ruby Slippers]

I like to go out dancing now and then but I definitely wouldn't feel like going every weekend. 

I've had a blast going dancing with girlfriends, boyfriends, dates over the years, but as a now and then thing. 

[Fresh_Start]

11 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

I used to be into going "clubbing"... when I was in my 20's.  Then I grew up and grew out of it, and found other things that I'd rather do.  I find 35 to be a little old to still be immersed in that lifestyle.  It's kind of shallow and immature.  I would never date someone who is really into that.

This echoes my own sentiments about clubbing. 

In my late teens and 20s it was a fairly regular occurrence, but by the time I turned 30 it was quickly fading to a distant speck in the rearview mirror.  Even when clubbing was a part of my weekend repertoire, I have always preferred taking dates to a nice restaurant (translation: nicer than Chili's) where we could sit and actually hear one another over a meal and a drink or two.  Clubs can be so loud that you can't have a conversation without practically screaming at each other and are often so jam packed full of people that navigating your way through the crowd with a couple of drinks in your hands after a trip to the bar takes more precision than navigating your way through a minefield -- and can make finding your date again about the rough equivalent of a Where's Waldo puzzle.

[SumGuy]

Depends on club and scene.  I like to see live music and dance, but where it is a dance situation we're mostly talking 60s, 70s, 80s and maybe new music from the 90s type bands   OK maybe not so bad, but an older crowd...think a 35 year old would stand out as young there. 

I do like to dance to more club/electronic/etc stuff but only when we go out as a group to certain places (basically places a friend of a friend owns)...it is certainty not to pick up on the younger folks there. It's not normally our scene but heck when the bouncers know you are a friends of the boss and you tip well (young clubbers here don't seem to tip for s**t) it feels very welcoming.

[gaius]

If my wife ever came to me and said she wanted to go clubbing, which she never has, I would hope she meant the up to Canada, grab a mallet and find some seals kind.

I don't even want to kill a moth but I'd be more open to that than dancing around with a bunch of drunk and drugged out strangers who probably weren't all that smart to begin with. 

[understand50]

In general, Married spouse should not go "clubbing"  It should be done together, or not at all.  

As for dating someone who goes clubbing?  (original question)  Myself, no.  I would not want a life partner who who drinks to excess and smokes.  Not that I do not drink on occasion, but I have gone months with out the need to drink.  If you do not drink and smoke, why go to a club? Also, and I admit this may not be  fair, the prevailing social  opinion, is girls, and guys, are at these clubs to get laid.  O at least to make a good try at it.  Although, I would not be looking for a virgin, not at my age, I would not want someone who was, or had been,  into lots casual sex.   Of course, being married for the last 40 plus years, this is all a thought experiment, but my two cents. 

[Bluesky00]

There’s nothing wrong with people going to “clubs” especially if they are single looking for some fun. I love clubs, but I’m probably won’t be going to any of them this year due to the pandemic. Which I’m sad. There are several clubs for middle aged ppl more like dance events like salsa, ballroom, swing. Dancing is fun! Why do clubs get a bad rap? If single 30 year olds want to hit the hip young clubs then so be it. It’s their lifestyle, they can do what they want to do, nobody is bullying you because you like to sit at a park to read and it seems like you feel you are more superior than they are. It’s none of your business what he does, nor are you his parent. In general, why are people so bothered by “clubs.” People are free to do what they want in their free time. Stop judging ppl because of “loud music” or dry humping, and getting drunk. Also ppl love raves even those who are 40 + in case you didn’t know. Yes, they do ecstasy or listen to edm, but are are they making fun of ppl who are bookworms and homebodies? No. It’s their lifestyle not yours

[d0nnivain]

On 6/14/2020 at 8:28 PM, Cookiesandough said:

I guess I’ve always found clubbing a bit sad, like a bunch of lonely, drunk  people packed into a venue  like sardines, sweating and doing a mating dances... (that’s probably just my ignorance and experience with them. )

I used to go clubbing & found it very fun.  l liked the music & dancing with my friends. I loved getting dressed up.   Yes, some times there were cute guys to pick up, date or hookup with.    I thought most people were fun; like me they had jobs.  They weren't all hardcore alcoholics or druggie but those subsets were around.  It was also easy to spot the people who were all about hit it & quit it so unless you wanted a ONS you just avoided them.  

Based on your above opinion of clubbing you absolutely should not get involved with somebody who loves this scene  because you will be unhappy.  

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Nah, never was my scene.  A pub with live music, yes.  I've probably only been "clubbing" 10 times in my life and all before college graduation.

[Bluesky00]

Yes! The fun part is getting dressed up! Wearing sexy clothing and getting hit on by hot guys! Believe me, hot guys on a Saturday night eyeballing me, is the greatest ego boost ever. There was this one club I use to go to and the most hottest guys were in there. It’s a great place for singles to easily meet. 

Edited June 20, 2020 by Bluesky00

[Cookiesandough]

13 hours ago, Bluesky00 said:

There’s nothing wrong with people going to “clubs” especially if they are single looking for some fun. I love clubs, but I’m probably won’t be going to any of them this year due to the pandemic. Which I’m sad. There are several clubs for middle aged ppl more like dance events like salsa, ballroom, swing. Dancing is fun! Why do clubs get a bad rap? If single 30 year olds want to hit the hip young clubs then so be it. It’s their lifestyle, they can do what they want to do, nobody is bullying you because you like to sit at a park to read and it seems like you feel you are more superior than they are. It’s none of your business what he does, nor are you his parent. In general, why are people so bothered by “clubs.” People are free to do what they want in their free time. Stop judging ppl because of “loud music” or dry humping, and getting drunk. Also ppl love raves even those who are 40 + in case you didn’t know. Yes, they do ecstasy or listen to edm, but are are they making fun of ppl who are bookworms and homebodies? No. It’s their lifestyle not yours

Hey now.  ... I didn’t mean any offense by it. I wouldn’t care 2 shts but this was a guy I was considering dating before I got srs with my bf, so I needed some perspectives. I even said my experience could be limited ... 

Youre right.. different strokes and all. People can do what they want and im glad they enjoy it 

Edited June 20, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Pumaza]

if its not your thing find someone in the libary😋😄👍🏽
those who love clubs dont easily stop.

and often you meet crazy people there.

not a good place to meet your partner either.

there are many guys out there.go where your kind of guy would be.

 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2020 by Pumaza

[Foxhall]

I was never a clubbing natural, I probably did enjoy it for a few years all the same, it was nice to belong to a social group and all that, 

overall though I often found them a lonely enough scene especially if I was not making much impression with the ladies!

yes its finding the people you gel best with I suppose- I am definitely more suited to a girl who reads in the park, it took me a long time to realise that though.

 

[some_username1]

It gets an undeserved bad rap, but then that’s because clubbing is quite nuanced and you can’t just throw a blanket over it and generalise about multiple forms of music, people and clubbing experiences.

I used to travel the country and the world going to clubbing events because the music I listened to was a big part of my life and you could meet some awesome people out and about. But that is partly to do with the people that style of music attracts, I’ve been to club nights for other types of music and it’s full of utter douchebags who have no respect and make the event a total misery. So it’s not as simple as just saying “clubbing good/clubbing bad”.

With regards to age the style of music I listened to attracted all forms of ages, singletons and couples which I really liked. There was so much diversity that I never felt that I was too old to be there. I’d still be going clubbing now having just turned 40 if it wasn’t for the fact that my body is not able to handle the all nighters as it once could. The feeling of being surrounded by like minded people who are really into the music when a new track comes on that speaks to you (and the rest of the crowd) in some way is very hard to beat.

[dangerous]

I think its not your place/ or ours to say whether he is too old to go clubbing or not, each to one's own.

The relevant point is that YOU OP do not enjoy clubbing, so you are not a match with that guy in that respect at least. 

[Trail Blazer]

On 6/22/2020 at 7:39 AM, Foxhall said:

I was never a clubbing natural, I probably did enjoy it for a few years all the same, it was nice to belong to a social group and all that, 

overall though I often found them a lonely enough scene especially if I was not making much impression with the ladies!

yes its finding the people you gel best with I suppose- I am definitely more suited to a girl who reads in the park, it took me a long time to realise that though.

 

I've noticed you're from Ireland.  I've spent a fair bit of time there as my mom is Irish.  I think clubs are a universal definition in the western world, but "nightlife" is defined differently in different regions.

Ireland (Dublin) didn't seem to have a big club scene.  Well, at least not in the mid-2000s.  What was fantastic, though, was the live music scene.  People young and old (seemingly in their 30s and 40s) would frequent Temple Bar, with Guinness-fueled Irish Jigs performed at will.

The U.K. and Europe was a little more club-oriented, although perhaps that's because I didn't migrate out of the main cities.  Sure, there were plenty of pubs around, but they were frequented by a distinctly non-clubbing crowd.

These days, as a 35-year-old, my clubbing days are over.  As much as I had a blast clubbing in Europe to some amazing EDM/Trance, I am a bit past that now.  However, when I travel back to Europe again one day, I'll undoubtedly venture back to Temple Bar on a Saturday night and indulge in some binge drinking of Guinness with the locals, because, that's not exactly clubbing. 😉

[Trail Blazer]

On 6/15/2020 at 9:58 AM, Cookiesandough said:

I started talking to this guy(35) who seems very immersed in “clubbing culture”.

 

I guess I’ve always found clubbing a bit sad, like a bunch of lonely, drunk  people packed into a venue  like sardines, sweating and doing a mating dances... (that’s probably just my ignorance and experience with them. )

 

I saw on his Facebook that he checks into clubs pretty much every weekend and sometimes on weekdays... He is 35 and owns a car shop for a living.. I’m just going out and say it .. He seems very “chad” 

 

i’m in my late 20s, so I’m just at a point my life where I’m not looking to spend that much time in the club. (Isn’t 35 a bit old for it? Maybe not) I’ve actually never been that person. I am more the type to sit in the park and read... 

 

Wpuld you date someone who goes clubbing a lot? Why or why not? 

First things first; "I've started talking to this guy" is nothing like "We're about to go on our first date."  Clearly you like him for something.  He's a bit of a Chad, you think... so, he's hot, yeah?  Cool... nothing wrong with that!  We'd all lie if we said looks don't matter, because they do.  We all want to be with someone we find hot.

So, a hot Chad that still goes clubbing every weekend and owns a car shop for a living?  I'm massively into the car scene and have a few friends who own car shops.  It depends what sort of "car shop" he owns, but the kind of guys who own, for example, restomod businesses, or performance workshops, are the kind of guys who love by the "Work hard, Play hard" mantra.

I don't think it signifies a lack of maturity on his part, necessarily.  I work in a very male-dominated industry where there are a lot of "Chads" who, even in their early 30s, party hard.  We all work away from home for weeks on end, earn decent money, and enjoy doing various things in our downtime, including, for many dudes, clubbing.

The same Chads I work with who go clubbing a lot, who are in their 30s, are the same guys who've got their $h!t together in life, own their homes, have multiple toys, investments etc.  If the fellow you speak of is anything like these guys, then I suggest him going clubbing is the least of your concerns.

How do you feel about going clubbing?  That's all that really matters.  People here will project their own views, but they're all irrelevant.  If you like the guy, keep chatting to him.  Just be aware that a Chad who is successful in his own right will not settle easily and you'll need to fit into his lifestyle seemlessly, lest you get dropped for the next cute twenty-something that a guy like him will probably have lined up.

[Foxhall]

Yes your right really Dublin is more renowned for the live music scene, 

we have clubbing in the sense for 20 year olds  although yes it would be fairly tame compared to say Amsterdam for example,

anyways your always welcome, let me know if your planning a visit anytime.

 

 

[Trail Blazer]

23 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

Yes your right really Dublin is more renowned for the live music scene, 

we have clubbing in the sense for 20 year olds  although yes it would be fairly tame compared to say Amsterdam for example,

anyways your always welcome, let me know if your planning a visit anytime.

 

 

Thankfully I have an uncle and aunt who live in Dublin, so I've always got a base with which I can travel to and from around Europe at will.  I dare say I won't be travelling back for some time.  With the way things are currently, it could be years before international travel is restored. 😥