do I or dont I

[ZA Dater]

1 hour ago, Mystery4u said:

Let's be honest, from your multiple threads, it's clear you have very little real experience when it comes to women. I'm sure you could probably count on one hand how many different women you have had sex with, if there has actually been ANY.

You already know neither of these two are potential wifey materials, they both have shown they just want a bit of fun, and you actually have to ask whether you should meet them? Are you actually gay? lol

Live life a little instead of inside your own little box. Go on that run in the forest. Let her take you to the quiet place. Have hot sex together, have some FUN!

You moan and moan and moan about not having experience then refuse to get the experience. Nobody is asking you to marry these women. Just enjoy the moment!

Just because you have sex with a woman does not mean you have to stay with her. You can still meet your ideal.

You are so rigid and come across soooo boring.

I didn't see the positive with either of them, the second one is clingy and that I can see, a friend of mine went out with someone very similar and the results were a disaster, he enjoyed the ride but nothing else and couldn't get away from her because she wouldn't leave him alone.

The benefits of living in a box are simple, you can avoid the mistakes of others learning from their mistakes. In that regard I have been quite fortunate.

Call me picky but I'd rather have a great dinner, connect with someone find them wow than go and drop my shorts in the forest with someone I haven't even met in person before.

[ZA Dater]

12 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

No idea if you should or shouldn’t but suspect you won’t, which is fine. Although I think the real reason you won’t is because you’re afraid you won’t be able to live up to their expectations or that you’ll be rejected ultimately because you won’t be able to perform.

For many people out there, sex is just sex. For others it’s more about a personal, intimate connection with someone you love. And some people are in between. No right or wrong, just important to know your own values when it comes to sex.

Its impossible to explain away a lack of experience at 36. Making the decision to call time on these two was actually easier after reading this thread. I suppose the sort of attraction was they did sort of want me but I didn't want them so its a reversal of the usual situation.

 

[Weezy1973]

45 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Its impossible to explain away a lack of experience at 36.

 

Probably the right decision, but to be clear you don’t have to explain this at all. 
 

I literally Googled “how to please a woman in bed” back in the day and I got to an article written by a woman that laid out some basics. Mostly things to try that feel good to most women. 
 

Every woman is different as well to a certain extent, so you’ll always be inexperienced with the individual you’re dealing with. Communicating is good. 
 

Because of your inexperience it’s likely built up way more in your head than it actually is. The only way to get over that is to get some experience. And just to reiterate, just because one woman thinks your “great” in bed doesn’t mean the next woman will. There may be a general manual for anatomy, but every woman is different mentally. 

[ZA Dater]

53 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

Probably the right decision, but to be clear you don’t have to explain this at all. 

I literally Googled “how to please a woman in bed” back in the day and I got to an article written by a woman that laid out some basics. Mostly things to try that feel good to most women. 

Every woman is different as well to a certain extent, so you’ll always be inexperienced with the individual you’re dealing with. Communicating is good. 

Because of your inexperience it’s likely built up way more in your head than it actually is. The only way to get over that is to get some experience. And just to reiterate, just because one woman thinks your “great” in bed doesn’t mean the next woman will. There may be a general manual for anatomy, but every woman is different mentally. 

A lot this is probably very true. I wont lie I do shy away from the physical side because never ending rejection means a kiss on the cheek is a win never mind anything more.

[Cookiesandough]

4 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Thing is I do tend to give a lot of the benefit of the doubt, I have tried to find connection with them, see ways I can look at things differently. Perhaps the best way I can describe it is I feel better looking for what I am looking for and not finding it than I do not looking for it at all.

I do the same thing and feel the same way. . I’ve tried really hard. Even if you were just going to date people in the meantime before you find a connection, at least be attracted to them and like them as people. I don’t think everyone can take someone that you completely are not interested in and choose to like them. I suppose some people can but not a lot

[Hopeful30]

5 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Probably the right decision, but to be clear you don’t have to explain this at all. 
 

I literally Googled “how to please a woman in bed” back in the day and I got to an article written by a woman that laid out some basics. Mostly things to try that feel good to most women. 
 

Every woman is different as well to a certain extent, so you’ll always be inexperienced with the individual you’re dealing with. Communicating is good. 
 

Because of your inexperience it’s likely built up way more in your head than it actually is. The only way to get over that is to get some experience. And just to reiterate, just because one woman thinks your “great” in bed doesn’t mean the next woman will. There may be a general manual for anatomy, but every woman is different mentally. 

I can relate to the OP regarding this. I haven't had sex in years, and now that I'm dating again, I'm finding myself shy and nervous about making that sexual step (even though I'm wildly sexual as a woman to begin with). 

By the way, OP, a kiss on the cheek is not rejection!! I recently went on a date and turned my cheek, not because I don't like him, but because it's way too soon for me and always has been (even in my sexually active days). If I had to be honest, I keep wondering what sex with him would be like, even though we have had zero sexual contact so far.

Please don't assume that a lack of physical intimacy (especially in the beginning) is a lack of attraction to you. Just like Weezy1973 said, women are different and approach sex/physical intimacy differently. Just because you're inexperienced doesn't meant you're incompetent. On the contrary, you have much sexual energy to express :D

[simpycurious]

8 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Probably the right decision, but to be clear you don’t have to explain this at all. 
 

I literally Googled “how to please a woman in bed” back in the day and I got to an article written by a woman that laid out some basics. Mostly things to try that feel good to most women. 
 

Every woman is different as well to a certain extent, so you’ll always be inexperienced with the individual you’re dealing with. Communicating is good. 
 

Because of your inexperience it’s likely built up way more in your head than it actually is. The only way to get over that is to get some experience. And just to reiterate, just because one woman thinks your “great” in bed doesn’t mean the next woman will. There may be a general manual for anatomy, but every woman is different mentally. 

I am going to BET that the "tools and the talent" beat Google EVERY TIME...............