basil67 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 @Roswell91 I just went to do the laughing response to your comment and it was gone..... So here it is 😂 Yep, keep our restaurants afloat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 29 minutes ago, Azincourt said: There are many men who are seeking for that in a woman, and many men who aren't expecting their wives to be a 1950's stay-at-home wife. Eating out is expensive. Knowing how to cook saves up on time, money, and it's fun to cook in any case. That man wasn't trying to insult you. He said you shoud learn to cook because cooking is a life-long skill that helps out quite a bit. I've been cooking since an early age. On the other hand, my mother was never much of a cook, never enjoyed it, and it was my father who did all of the cooking. My mother kept the household going strong in other ways. It felt like an insult if im honest. As if his expectation is i cook for him and his family or something ( he still lives with his parents and siblings). A lot of men want a 1950s wife who will also work. Basically someone whos going to do everything. Go out to work and come home and do all the household chores and all 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: @Roswell91 I just went to do the laughing response to your comment and it was gone..... So here it is 😂 Yep, keep our restaurants afloat Lol that is me for sure. 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 25 minutes ago, Azincourt said: Yeah, well, your friends marriage might turn out good, and I hope it does, but I got a feeling the reason why the divorce rate is at 89% in Belgium is because many women reach the age of 30 and feel(societal and family pressure) to get married and to have children, and so they pick a guy with a job or whatever, and they get married, only to end up a few years later divorced because a marriage to work out needs a lot more than just, ''he has nice abs'' or, '' he has a job,'' so women should take their time in picking a partner they're supposed to be with for the next 40 or 50 years left, of natural lifespan. I know women who co-habitated with a man or who got married for the first time at the age of 50 or 60, it's all good. This isn't Europe in the 1200's when people had to get married at like 18 because the average lifespan at the time was like 30 years. I think a lot of men are judgemental with regards to a womans age too. Im approaching 30 but not 30. And a certain person was like youll be at your peak soon. Lovely! So really, i can understand the pressure women are under due to the expectations men have aswell. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 16 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: A lot of men want a 1950s wife who will also work. Basically someone whos going to do everything. Go out to work and come home and do all the household chores and all Yes and a lot of men will play the role of the "modern" man who cooks and cleans and shares the chores to find once married or living together he changes into a "traditional" 50s man who cannot lift a finger to do anything, as it is "not really his job" and he has the mentality that "he cannot be expected to do that as that is women's work". She can take all the time picking a partner that she wants, but she is not psychic... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 11 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Yes and a lot of men will play the role of the "modern" man who cooks and cleans and shares the chores to find once married or living together he changes into a "traditional" 50s man who cannot lift a finger to do anything, as it is "not really his job" and he has the mentality that "he cannot be expected to do that as that is women's work". She can take all the time picking a partner that she wants, but she is not psychic... So basically im screwed either way 😂 😂. Its either become a 1950s housewife or forget being married lol Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 Just now, Roswell91 said: So basically im screwed either way 😂😂. Its either become a 1950s housewife or forget being married lol Not all men, but the chores can become a bone of contention. Some will hire domestic help to get over that problem, if they can afford it. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Not all men, but the chores can become a bone of contention. Some will hire domestic help to get over that problem, if they can afford it. Marriage sounds like a real laugh a minute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted June 30, 2020 Author Share Posted June 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Not all men, but the chores can become a bone of contention. Some will hire domestic help to get over that problem, if they can afford it. I actually knew of a woman that had an ex that was irritated with her coming over to his place to clean and organized. Said he didn't like his crap being moved around , and I was like "Woah!, she's (well, you're) a keeper!!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted June 30, 2020 Author Share Posted June 30, 2020 32 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Yes and a lot of men will play the role of the "modern" man who cooks and cleans and shares the chores to find once married or living together he changes into a "traditional" 50s man who cannot lift a finger to do anything, as it is "not really his job" and he has the mentality that "he cannot be expected to do that as that is women's work". She can take all the time picking a partner that she wants, but she is not psychic... Here in the south, I've known some women who gave up working because their husbands didn't want them to work, as they wanted to be the bread winner. Sounds like the wife was on board. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Roswell91 said: A lot of men want a 1950s wife who will also work. Basically someone whos going to do everything. Go out to work and come home and do all the household chores and all If a man wants his wife to be a SAHM, he better be prepared to make a ton of money so she doesn't have to work. I do think a lot of woman are at the snapping point, trying to juggle career, kids, housework, etc. If any man expects his wife to do all that with no help from him, then he is a fool. Edited June 30, 2020 by Zona 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) On 6/16/2020 at 5:04 PM, Ruby Slippers said: Just look this board. Men tend to complain they can't find a woman to date. Women tend to complain they can't right the right man to date. Most women could go out somewhere, throw a shoe, and hit a guy who would date her. Very few men could pull that off. I think a lot of men purposely phrase it that way though. Even the guys here that complain they can’t find a woman to date are actually passing up women because they aren’t into them. Men don’t like to admit they overlook and reject women. Most of the incels could find a woman to date easily, but they want at least a 6/10 no pointy elbows. Edited June 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, Zona said: If a man wants his wife to be a SAHM, he better be prepared to make a ton of money so she doesn't have to work. I do think a lot of woman are at the snapping point, trying to juggle career, kids, housework, etc. If any man expects his wife to do all that with no help from him, then he is a fool. Yeh of course they are. Maybe an unpopular opinion but i think men have an easier time generally in marriages than women. He would definitely be a fool but there are a lot of people out there like that. 🤔 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 4 hours ago, elaine567 said: Yes and a lot of men will play the role of the "modern" man who cooks and cleans and shares the chores to find once married or living together he changes into a "traditional" 50s man who cannot lift a finger to do anything, as it is "not really his job" and he has the mentality that "he cannot be expected to do that as that is women's work". She can take all the time picking a partner that she wants, but she is not psychic... I'd say to that choose wisely, I would hope there is some correlation with some other beliefs or attitude to determine if the guy is going to do a bait and switch on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 1 minute ago, Roswell91 said: Maybe an unpopular opinion but i think men have an easier time generally in marriages than women. I don't think that is even debatable. It's absolutely true in most cases. Now if you marry a rich person, you can have a easy life. Lack of money is always a stressor, especially if it means both spouses have to work long hours to make ends meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. That alone strongly suggests that women are less happy in marriage than men, in general. As for the stat that only 5% of women over 35 get married, it doesn't sound correct, but if it is correct, I think it's largely due to choice. I've had three solid offers for marriage since age 35. In each case, the man was pushing for it. In each case, ultimately I declined. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 15 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: Yeh of course they are. Maybe an unpopular opinion but i think men have an easier time generally in marriages than women. He would definitely be a fool but there are a lot of people out there like that. 🤔 There have actually been studies that support that while both benefit from marriage in general, men benefit more(satisfaction with life, financially etc) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Zona said: I don't think that is even debatable. It's absolutely true in most cases. Now if you marry a rich person, you can have a easy life. Lack of money is always a stressor, especially if it means both spouses have to work long hours to make ends meet. So then i think whats the point sometimes. One gets used to the independent lifestyle after a while Ok i need to find myself a rich older man. Edited June 30, 2020 by Roswell91 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 18 minutes ago, SumGuy said: I'd say to that choose wisely, I would hope there is some correlation with some other beliefs or attitude to determine if the guy is going to do a bait and switch on you. Im so gullible id miss the signs Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: There have actually been studies that support that while both benefit from marriage in general, men benefit more(satisfaction with life, financially etc) Undoubtedly. They get a maid and get laid on tap lol...and half the pressure of bills etc.. Women want babies and that is why they settle. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: So then i think whats the point sometimes. One gets used to the independent lifestyle after a while If you have reasonable expectations and still can't find a guy who is worthy of a lifelong commitment, then staying single is probably the way to go. You just never know, sometimes someone comes along when you least expect it. I think my wife was shocked to learn how many girlfriends I had before I met her. Not a single one of them was someone I would have married, but I kind of went girl-crazy in my youth lol. No regrets, it's just a normal part of becoming a man. Edited June 30, 2020 by Zona Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: Im so gullible id miss the signs The only one I know of is if he tends to hold a self described "traditional" view of gender roles...even if when in dating he doesn't think that means cooking and cleaning, even just "masculine" and "feminine" energy. One can also get an idea in how people talk about the less fortunate and their employees if they have any. These can be indications if they believe others have a specific role in life (oddly it is always to their benefit) and those who don;t like this default role are just complainers. All of it goes to an entitlement mentality that is not even necessarily conscious as it believes in these roles as natural and does not question the fairness or assumptions that go into them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, Zona said: If you have reasonable expectations and still can't find a guy who is worthy of a lifelong commitment, then staying single is probably the way to go. You just never know, sometimes someone comes along when you least expect it. I think my wife was shocked to learn how many girlfriends I had before I met her. Not a single one of them was someone I would have married, but I kind of went girl-crazy in my youth lol. So what made you choose your wife for forever? What stood out about her in comparison to the rest 😂 To be fair a lot of young men are girl crazy initially lol. Maybe im fussy? There were a couple of people who wanted to pretty much marry me. First one was too controlling and the second i wasnt attracted to him. The rest had all sorts of issues. OLD a lot of men have issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Roswell91 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, SumGuy said: The only one I know of is if he tends to hold a self described "traditional" view of gender roles...even if when in dating he doesn't think that means cooking and cleaning, even just "masculine" and "feminine" energy. One can also get an idea in how people talk about the less fortunate and their employees if they have any. These can be indications if they believe others have a specific role in life (oddly it is always to their benefit) and those who don;t like this default role are just complainers. All of it goes to an entitlement mentality that is not even necessarily conscious as it believes in these roles as natural and does not question the fairness or assumptions that go into them. The person asking me if i can cook and telling me to learn is most likely going to be one of those lol Divorced we will be after a year 😂😂. That's another thing don't want to be divorced Edited June 30, 2020 by Roswell91 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 (edited) One of my exes always talked about how he despised gender roles, how he wanted to learn to cook for me, etc. etc. What ended up happening is that if I didn’t cook we didn’t eat or we had to go out to eat and the dishes and s*** would pile and the floor would need mopping as he was working and I hated that so guess who would clean? He proposed and I was like nah thanks at 40+ years of this. . Very few men are gonna be like yeah I want you barefoot(or working), pregnant, and in the kitchen but it just kinda goes that way often to greater or lesser extents. You often step into this role of caretaker that has sex with them regularly. My current bf is not like that, but I don’t live with him yet so who knows. It’s just not for me Edited June 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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