Are more women content on remaining unattached?

[Roswell91]

4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

One of my exes always talked about how he despised gender roles, how he wanted to learn to cook for me, etc. etc. What ended up happening is that if I didn’t cook we didn’t eat or we had to go out to eat and the dishes and s*** would pile and the floor would need mopping as he was working and I hated that so guess who would clean?  He proposed and I was like nah thanks at 40+ years of this. . 
 

Very few men are gonna be like yeah I want you barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen but it just kinda goes that way often to greater or lesser extents. You step into this role of caretaker that has sex with them daily. It’s just not for me 

Oh forget that.

I agree but then what's the alternative  lol. A life of singleness  foreverrrr!!! 

[Roswell91]

6 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

One of my exes always talked about how he despised gender roles, how he wanted to learn to cook for me, etc. etc. What ended up happening is that if I didn’t cook we didn’t eat or we had to go out to eat and the dishes and s*** would pile and the floor would need mopping as he was working and I hated that so guess who would clean?  He proposed and I was like nah thanks at 40+ years of this. . 
 

Very few men are gonna be like yeah I want you barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen but it just kinda goes that way often to greater or lesser extents. You often step into this role of caretaker that has sex with them regularly. It’s just not for me 

I swear most of the time when dating..men are all talk! 

I on the other hand am honest and have the attitude of take me as i am or bye. Don't  see the need to be false and waste peoples time you know. 

[SumGuy]

21 minutes ago, Roswell91 said:

The person asking me if i  can cook and telling me to learn is most likely going to be one of those lol

Divorced we will be after a year 😂😂. That's another thing don't  want to be divorced

Indeed.  Don't know anyone who ever wants to be divorced unless they married for the money and divorce is their exit strategy/liquidation event.

[SumGuy]

13 minutes ago, Roswell91 said:

I swear most of the time when dating..men are all talk! 

Heck a lot of people are all talk in my experience, actions always speak louder than words.  It''s not even that people are even lying to you, although they are lying to themselves, they just judge themselves purely by their intentions and feelings.

I've found it pretty easy in life to weed out those as well, really just need to make sure you are in situations with them to see if their actions align with their words. 

Edited June 30, 2020 by SumGuy

[Roswell91]

3 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Heck a lot of people are all talk in my experience, actions always speak louder than words.  It''s not even that people are even lying to you, although they are lying to themselves, they just judge themselves purely by their intentions and feelings.

I've found it pretty easy in life to weed out those as well, really just need to make sure you are in situations with them to see if their actions align with their words. 

Some are lying to themselves but i  would say most are lying to get the girl as well. 

Ive got a pretty good memory and more often than not the man is always contradicting himself lol. I think they forget they said the opposite  thing not too long ago. 

A lot say you'll  really only know a person once you  start living with them. Which isnt great if its only once youre married lol

Edited June 30, 2020 by Roswell91

[Weezy1973]

54 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

You often step into this role of caretaker that has sex with them regularly. My current bf is not like that, but I don’t live with him yet so who knows. It’s just not for me 

I remember hearing a quote something to the effect that most marriage problems aren’t actually marriage problems, they’re living together problems. 
 

I think men just don’t care about a lot of cleanliness things in general. When I lived on my own, it was clean enough for me to be content, but when I went to sell it my realtor said it definitely needs a professional clean as I’ve lived like a bachelor for so long.

My wife is cleaner than I am, but if she wasn’t, my life wouldn’t be worse. It just doesn’t matter. Women often say they feel like a maid, but that’s because they have an issue with the lack of cleanliness. If they stopped, most men wouldn’t care as it doesn’t bother them. 
 

You run into trouble if someone expects you to do the housework, even though they won’t do it themselves. Kind of the same as the expectation that the man makes the money. Both outdated concepts in this day an age.

[Zona]

1 hour ago, Roswell91 said:

So what made you choose your wife for forever? What stood out about her in comparison to the rest 😂 

We just totally clicked. Had fun together, similar interests, very easy to like and easy to talk to, and she had the best butt and legs I had ever seen lol. I thought she complemented me physically in terms of children, her physical strengths were my weaknesses, and I have two handsome and healthy sons to show for it.

I didn't obviously realize at the time that while all her family members were very successful in life, narcissistic tendencies ran in the family. This would later come back to haunt me relatively early in our marriage where she was unfaithful, although I didn't find out about it for many years. She has been a model wife of late, so we will see if I can get over it and stay in the marriage.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Zona

[CaliforniaGirl]

16 hours ago, basil67 said:

Ah, but what about his first wife Lilith?  (from Jewish texts)   Like Adam, she was born of the earth and as such refused to be subservient to him.  They clashed terribly and she left.   So then Eve came along and because she was from Adam's rib was not his equal and Adam was happy.

Perhaps the women who aren't wanting to do the relationship stuff anymore have Lilith's spirit?   Though rumour has it that she married a devil, so who knows...

Yeah, poor Adam. First he gets a woman who wants to have sex in a way that's satisfying for her (that monster!!!) and wants to make some decisions of her own (what the hell is wrong with this woman? That's okay, as you say, she's punished...banished, married forever to a monster...instead of a nice guy who tells her what to do all the time).

Then he gets Eve, ANOTHER woman who wants to make her own decisions and WORSE, she wants to be educated and learned and knowledgeable and wants to be able to relate to her God.

I really don't know what the poor guy did to deserve all this but I'm sure he spent those next 800 years going "where have all the good women gone?" even while creating more and more because...well, that part was fun, anyway.

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, Zona said:

We just totally clicked. Had fun together, similar interests, very easy to like and easy to talk to, and she had the best butt and legs I had ever seen lol. I thought she complemented me physically in terms of children, her physical strengths were my weaknesses, and I have two handsome and healthy sons to show for it.

I didn't obviously realize at the time that while all her family members were very successful in life, narcissistic tendencies ran in the family. This would later come back to haunt me relatively early in our marriage where she was unfaithful, although I didn't find out about it for many years. She has been a model wife of late, so we will see if I can get over it and stay in the marriage.

Zona...it sounds like you're talking about stock.

But...the truth is, I'm happy to hear about great relationships. I am glad you guys are happy. ❤️ And that you guys got over a rocky beginning. ❤️

Edited June 30, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl
Emojis just won't show up...

[CaliforniaGirl]

9 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

Well cheers for the optimism.

I only have a few years left to find a person to settle down with, otherwise ill be destined to be alone forever. 

Brilliant! 

Hurry! Grab some guy you don't really love so that later on you can post on LoveShack about how you're not happy and everyone can jump all over you for "just" marrying to have a house and kids.

It's for a good cause. You'll be cheering up PUAs and the like by proving that women "settle for" betas they don't really want. Vindication is awesome. Ironically, these will be exactly the same people who also tell under-35s they better get married, quick, or lose any chance at happiness. So...you'll get something out of it too, besides sudden poverty, the loss of your house and miserable children who hate you for "leaving Dad." You'll get to chuckle over that irony thing. Everybody wins.

Get on it!!!! I want to hear about a ring by August. You have 31 days...GO.

p.s. Am I invited to the wedding? I better be.

Edited June 30, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

8 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

I think a lot of men are judgemental with regards to a womans age too.

Im approaching 30 but not 30. And a certain person was like youll be at your peak soon. Lovely! 

So really, i can understand the pressure women are under due to the expectations men have aswell. 

Don't believe the scare tactics.  Exceptions exist, largely because that percentage of people want them to.

I was 34 and my husband was 30 when we married. He was the chaser by a long shot.

[CaliforniaGirl]

3 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

Oh forget that.

I agree but then what's the alternative  lol. A life of singleness  foreverrrr!!! 

DON'T be a YuDOO.*

(* You'll Die Old and Alone)

Snark-free now: Like Cookies, the men I've known who pulled the old switcheroo when it came to cooking, cleaning, etc. were TOTAL Renaissance men beforehand. Big proclamations about gender equality and how they were never going to turn out like their fathers.

I feel like it could partially be my age group. In the 80s, we teens and pre-teens were all about being contemporary, about both men and women having careers, and about nobody treating anybody "like in the 50s." But then as we got into our 30s or so...it seems like some of us changed their minds.

About half of us...

'Cause that working thing is still important, you'll notice.

I'm not trying to be a snotty jerk. But yes, this IS my experience. I don't even know if guys necessarily plan it that way. I think they "think" they want equal responsibility for chores just like they want two incomes, but then in reality, cleaning just...sucks.

Which we women well know. But even today we're the ones shamed if our homes are a wreck. "Doesn't she even clean? Does she care? Is she qualified to have children? Just look how she lets her household get. It's unsanitary."

Guys don't have to "say" they woman should go clean...she knows she'd better.

Grrrr, I don't want to get mad, LOL. It does feel like a switcheroo, though. It is aggravating and exhausting and it IS a huge bone of contention between quite a few couples.

[CaliforniaGirl]

8 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

So basically im screwed either way 😂😂. 

Its either become a 1950s housewife or forget being married lol

No.

Please keep something in mind: a lot of us are not your age. A lot of us are older than you are. I do not see this as much in 30somethings and under today. I do think things are changing.

We're giving our experiences, and the experiences of already-marrieds, often those who have been married for a while - so people in their 40s, and older than that. And - as per the OP - often it's people who have already been divorced. We are not overall talking about your generation.

My points - I don't mean to be hijacking this whole thread, I just have a lot of thoughts here!  - are that you are the generation that IS doing it right: getting your ducks in a row first before putting a ring on it. Dwindling divorce stats reflect that (at least in the U.S.).

[Zona]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Zona...it sounds like you're talking about stock.

But...the truth is, I'm happy to hear about great relationships. I am glad you guys are happy. ❤️ And that you guys got over a rocky beginning. ❤️

Thanks.

I was a bit clinical and calculating I suppose, but she checked all the boxes. I think we all have those boxes even if we don't like to admit it.

In the end, I married her because I fell in love with her and her with me. I would never marry anyone that I wasn't in love with. That's the foundation you can build on. Every marriage has it's issues, and infidelity affects somewhere between 30 and 60 percent of marriages. It's very hard to get exact numbers because some people will never admit to it. Lots of other things can come up too, like health issues, money problems, age related stuff in general. The level of commitment necessary to overcome these things is really high.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Zona

[Roswell91]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Hurry! Grab some guy you don't really love so that later on you can post on LoveShack about how you're not happy and everyone can jump all over you for "just" marrying to have a house and kids.

It's for a good cause. You'll be cheering up PUAs and the like by proving that women "settle for" betas they don't really want. Vindication is awesome. Ironically, these will be exactly the same people who also tell under-35s they better get married, quick, or lose any chance at happiness. So...you'll get something out of it too, besides sudden poverty, the loss of your house and miserable children who hate you for "leaving Dad." You'll get to chuckle over that irony thing. Everybody wins.

Get on it!!!! I want to hear about a ring by August. You have 31 days...GO.

p.s. Am I invited to the wedding? I better be.

Trust me i wanted to find someone who all this time who i could be really into and we live happily ever after.

But ive been told dozens of times by male friends/even ppl i dated (who are now married btw) to just find someone and settle down as life isn't a disney movie lol. 

I don't  really  want to wait another ten years to find the most ideal person for me. I probably won't find it. Well that's how i feel now. 

So unfortunately what you said is how it has to be im afraid 

And yes you're  invited to the wedding 😂

Edited June 30, 2020 by Roswell91

[Roswell91]

1 hour ago, Zona said:

Thanks.

I was a bit clinical and calculating I suppose, but she checked all the boxes. I think we all have those boxes even if we don't like to admit it.

In the end, I married her because I fell in love with her and her with me. I would never marry anyone that I wasn't in love with. That's the foundation you can build on. Every marriage has it's issues, and infidelity affects somewhere between 30 and 60 percent of marriages. It's very hard to get exact numbers because some people will never admit to it. Lots of other things can come up too, like health issues, money problems, age related stuff in general. The level of commitment necessary to overcome these things is really high.

I think at this point in time its highly unlikely I'll find someone i love. So someone i like a bit is enough 

[Roswell91]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

No.

Please keep something in mind: a lot of us are not your age. A lot of us are older than you are. I do not see this as much in 30somethings and under today. I do think things are changing.

We're giving our experiences, and the experiences of already-marrieds, often those who have been married for a while - so people in their 40s, and older than that. And - as per the OP - often it's people who have already been divorced. We are not overall talking about your generation.

My points - I don't mean to be hijacking this whole thread, I just have a lot of thoughts here!  - are that you are the generation that IS doing it right: getting your ducks in a row first before putting a ring on it. Dwindling divorce stats reflect that (at least in the U.S.).

You'd actually be quite surprised at my generation if you knew how some men are. One guy was ready to marry me, he was in his early thirties, his views were so old fashioned.

But then again he said initially we would have to live with his parents. And he would teach me how to cook. 

He was even weird about me going out and having male friends and going to a female only gym. Like what?

At that point i just knew this guy was not the one. I switched my phone off in order to get away from him lol

[Roswell91]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Don't believe the scare tactics.  Exceptions exist, largely because that percentage of people want them to.

I was 34 and my husband was 30 when we married. He was the chaser by a long shot.

Hmmmmmm.

The young man im speaking to is 28 and im a year older yet hes telling me im getting to my peak lol!!

There are of course exceptions but a lot of men even only a tiny bit older than me want like 18 year olds 🤔

[CaliforniaGirl]

35 minutes ago, Roswell91 said:

Hmmmmmm.

The young man im speaking to is 28 and im a year older yet hes telling me im getting to my peak lol!!

There are of course exceptions but a lot of men even only a tiny bit older than me want like 18 year olds 🤔

Does he mean sexual peak? I've heard that over and over, a woman hits her sexual peak in her 30s, etc. It's probably true for some women but I know I was a female jackrabbit in my 20s and calmed down a tad after that.

Sure, men older than you WANT 18-year-olds. However (stat alert again!) in the U.S. the overwhelming majority of marriages are couples within 5 years of one another. After that the curve falls like a stone, from either end (male older, female older). Let those guys try for their 18-year-olds...as entertaining as that might be to watch, you won't be around any longer. You're looking for love, and you have no time for that. Besides, would you want to be married to someone who wanted a younger woman but got stuck with you? Keep looking...

[Roswell91]

28 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Does he mean sexual peak? I've heard that over and over, a woman hits her sexual peak in her 30s, etc. It's probably true for some women but I know I was a female jackrabbit in my 20s and calmed down a tad after that.

Sure, men older than you WANT 18-year-olds. However (stat alert again!) in the U.S. the overwhelming majority of marriages are couples within 5 years of one another. After that the curve falls like a stone, from either end (male older, female older). Let those guys try for their 18-year-olds...as entertaining as that might be to watch, you won't be around any longer. You're looking for love, and you have no time for that. Besides, would you want to be married to someone who wanted a younger woman but got stuck with you? Keep looking...

Im not sure he meant sexual peak but you never know lol.

I have the feeling he meant age wise 

The people i met up from OLD for example had no issues with my age..well I'm still in my twenties but overall I've heard of the red pill movement 🤔 whereby men say women hit wall at 30 etc etc.

I find it odd as i can't imagine being into an 18 yr old lol. I do get chatted up by them though since i look very young as well. As in even younger than my age

Edited June 30, 2020 by Roswell91

[CaliforniaGirl]

5 minutes ago, Roswell91 said:

Im not sure he meant sexual peak but you never know lol.

I have the feeling he meant age wise 

The people i met up from OLD for example had no issues with my age..well I'm still in my twenties but overall I've heard of the red pill movement 🤔 whereby men say women hit wall at 30 etc etc.

I find it odd as i can't imagine being into an 18 yr old lol. I do get chatted up by them though since i look very young as well. As in even younger than my age

Yup...so, don't worry about the Red Pill stuff. It's a small movement although they're loud so they seem like they're everywhere  and trust me...that is NOT the guy you want. I'm not just saying that. Really, you don't want a guy who's angry at women before he even meets them, who thinks of women in terms of numbers, who doesn't want "a feminist" but...you darned well better work and not expect "special treatment...hey remember feminism?" (uh, dude, do YOU?)...and on and on, just..."I don't like women at all" kind of stuff.

So...you don't want to get stuck with that, I promise you. 

Edited June 30, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[Roswell91]

6 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Yup...so, don't worry about the Red Pill stuff. It's a small movement although they're loud so they seem like they're everywhere  and trust me...that is NOT the guy you want. I'm not just saying that. Really, you don't want a guy who's angry at women before he even meets them, who thinks of women in terms of numbers, who doesn't want "a feminist" but...you darned well better work and not expect "special treatment...hey remember feminism?" (uh, dude, do YOU?)...and on and on, just..."I don't like women at all" kind of stuff.

So...you don't want to get stuck with that, I promise you. 

Oh definitely not. They got issues. Especially that American  guy in his fourties who does youtube videos (forgot his name) He seems so bitter. 

[OatsAndHall]

8 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Very few men are gonna be like yeah I want you barefoot(or working), pregnant, and in the kitchen but it just kinda goes that way often to greater or lesser extents. You often step into this role of caretaker that has sex with them regularly. My current bf is not like that, but I don’t live with him yet so who knows. It’s just not for me 

Lol... I'm sorry, but I'm going to be blunt here; you might want to reevaluate the pond you're fishing from, ma'am. Yes, there are certainly guys that consciously (or subconsciously) want a woman to fill that particular gender role. But, there are many of us who shudder at the thought of woman becoming our caretaker, on any level. My gf popped into my place on an impromptu visit recently and I didn't have time to pick up my house. It was sort of trashed and she started picking up around the place; I stopped her, put up a series she likes on Hulu and took care of it. I'm far too independent and stubborn to have anyone pick up after me; I find it embarrassing.

[Woggle]

One advice I will give to women is avoid men who claim to be feminists. Men who are proud in their masculinity and don't try to apologize for it actually tend to make better partners in the long run. A man can love women without loathing himself and too many of these so called feminist men are self loathing. My brother in law is an example of that. 

[Mysterio]

On 6/27/2020 at 8:14 PM, Zona said:

I hope these women will be happy to be unmarried and childless in the end. According to an article I saw in the Atlantic, If a woman is not married by the age of 35, there is only a 5% she will ever be married. Time is not on their side.

Women have a sizable advantage over men when dating in their 20's. In the 30's and beyond, the advantage shifts to men significantly.Wasting your best years looking for Mr. Perfect and waiting for him to commit is such a common mistake nowadays, and I don't think a lot of women have a realistic view of how hot/desirable they are. In the United States, over 70% of women are either overweight, obese or morbidly obese.

Zona.  Are you saying that the typical American woman is more like the weight of Queen Latifha/Mellisa McCarthy/Cathy Metz-This Is Us.