Are more women content on remaining unattached?

[Woggle]

Granted we don't have children but gender roles and who does what has never been an issue in our house. I have always done my fair share and it isn't because I am trying to be Mr enlightened man or any of that. It comes naturally because we both share this space so we both take care of it. I don't know why that is so damn hard for some couples.

[Zona]

2 hours ago, Mysterio said:

Zona.  Are you saying that the typical American woman is more like the weight of Queen Latifha/Mellisa McCarthy/Cathy Metz-This Is Us.

Looks like around 10% of women are as heavy as Cathy Metz.

About 2/3 of American women are either overweight or obese.

Here is the breakdown:

26.5% of American women are overweight (but not obese)

40.4% of American women are obese.

10% of women are morbidly obese (Cathy Metz).

[Zona]

4 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Yup...so, don't worry about the Red Pill stuff. It's a small movement although they're loud so they seem like they're everywhere  and trust me...that is NOT the guy you want. I'm not just saying that. Really, you don't want a guy who's angry at women before he even meets them, who thinks of women in terms of numbers, who doesn't want "a feminist" but...you darned well better work and not expect "special treatment...hey remember feminism?" (uh, dude, do YOU?)...and on and on, just..."I don't like women at all" kind of stuff.

So...you don't want to get stuck with that, I promise you. 

Can you imagine a beta lion who has been shut out of mating by the badass alpha blaming the females? That's kind of how I see red-pill. Not a perfect analogy but makes the point of how crazy some of it is.

That being said I think Rollo Tomassi does have some amazing insights into female behavior. I do think that women have an estrous cycle (not just a menstrual cycle) which greatly affects their outlook and behavior at any given time. Most men are clueless as to how this all works and find the behavior of women to be very baffling at times as a result.

@rosewell91  You seem like a nice person with a positive outlook overall. Unfortunately dating is a numbers game, especially if you use dating apps to meet people. You might have to go through 100 or 200 guys (meeting them for coffee that is) or more to find someone you click with. Meeting people in person (clubs, church, college, etc.) is probably better, but harder to do, especially if you are an introvert. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Zona

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, Zona said:

Looks like around 10% of women are as heavy as Cathy Metz.

About 2/3 of American women are either overweight or obese.

Here is the breakdown:

26.5% of American women are overweight (but not obese)

40.4% of American women are obese.

10% of women are morbidly obese (Cathy Metz).

I don't want to sound tit-for-tattish but more men than women are overweight or obese. The numbers are slightly higher for obesity for women but because of the initial larger discrepancy (73% of men v. 66% in women) it shakes out to almost identical total numbers nationwide of obese men and obese women. And statistically notably more puffy men, by the numbers, than puffy women.

I'm pointing it out because of this constant complaint about fat women, by anonymous men who have a far larger chance of being fat themselves, than not. 

I mean I know, I know, everybody here is in amazing shape, etc., noted. 😁 True story. I get it.

But...these are the facts, fellas.

So stop accusing women of being fat.

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[Zona]

The thing is, muscular men are considered overweight because they have a BMI over 25,  even if they have minimal body fat.

My wife's brother is about 5'10" and 210 pounds of pure muscle. He would be considered obese because his BMI is a little over 30.

But yeah, American men are just as overweight even taking muscularity into account.

My BMI is around 23. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

35 minutes ago, Zona said:

The thing is, muscular men are considered overweight because they have a BMI over 25,  even if they have minimal body fat.

My wife's brother is about 5'10" and 210 pounds of pure muscle. He would be considered obese because his BMI is a little over 30.

But yeah, American men are just as overweight even taking muscularity into account.

My BMI is around 23. 

Boy please. The amount of men who are "obese" because that's just how ripped they are, are a minority.

Come on, we women have eyes.

And I'd be interested to see that brother-in-law and his rock solid technically obese body.

We women keep being told how many fat men are actually just super muscular. And then we take a look...I mean...I'm so tired of all the excuses for fat guys to be allowed to stay fat, while demanding that a woman look nice and thin for them. (ETA: I'm speaking generally, not to this poster necessarily.)

Edited July 1, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[basil67]

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

Knowing how to cook is a basic life skill. I am not gonna sit around and pay for some woman to constantly eat out because she is too lazy to learn to cook anything. Sometimes it's fine because going out to eat can be fun but always? No thanks.

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. 

We can both cook.  Granted, I cook more because of circumstances beyond our control, but he can put together a great meal on a weekend.   No way would I end up with a man who didn't have a basic repertoire of meals.  Besides, now that I'm older, my waistline already has enough problems without eating out frequently.

[Zona]

51 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

And I'd be interested to see that brother-in-law and his rock solid technically obese body.

Looks aren't everything. He is crazy handsome with similar build to pro golfer Brooks Koepka, but unfortunately he is a raging narcissist. Very charming and fun to be around, but below the surface extremely self-centered with zero empathy. He cheated on his wife, and then moved in with AP but convinced his wife to not divorce him so he could avoid paying alimony and child support. I'm sure he has other side-chicks too.

Believe me, I am with you on holding both genders accountable for their weight issues. Nothing will change though, except it will probably continue to get worse. The only reason I brought it up is in the context of millennial women being really picky even if they are not so perfect. Maybe guys are just as picky for all I know.

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Zona

[chillii]

Haaaaa, this ones still goin  eh , whata surprise , and turning into the predictable over analyzing of the analyzing of the explanations to the mystery of it all circus too l see .

Ummm, l'll just get back to basics and my original point , some women , and MEN , women all over the forum complain about men just wanting to eat and run too, seems to be the biggest issue to me , was the most common complaint when l was single too from women l met . Some people have just had enough of all the bs involved in relationships, some have been screwed over in divorces and will not go there again ,  and sure some are messed up , some are bitter , some have just gone mad, some have just had a life of unlucky in love and terrible choices, some just can't be fkd anymore ahhh, why does anyone giva fk. There's plenty of women that do want relationships believe me , all of whom l met back when actually, l felt like a rare commodity to be honest, gold. But at any rate , both sides should be pleased about all that , it all leaves a bit of room for people that are serious. For the life of me l can't see what the problem or mystery is it's a a grade school no brainer.

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by chillii

[CaliforniaGirl]

19 minutes ago, chillii said:

Haaaaa, this ones still goin  eh , whata surprise , and turning into the predictable over analyzing of the analyzing of the explanations to the mystery of it all circus too l see .

Ummm, l'll just get back to basics and my original point , some women , and MEN , women all over the forum complain about men just wanting to eat and run too, seems to be the biggest issue to me , was the most common complaint when l was single too from women l met . Some people have just had enough of all the bs involved in relationships, some have been screwed over in divorces and will not go there again ,  and sure some are messed up , some are bitter , some have just gone mad, some have just had a life of unlucky in love and terrible choices, some just can't be fkd anymore ahhh, why does anyone giva fk. There's plenty of women that do want relationships believe me , all of whom l met back when actually, l felt like a rare commodity to be honest, gold. But at any rate , both sides should be pleased about all that , it all leaves a bit of room for people that are serious. For the life of me l can't see what the problem or mystery is it's a a grade school no brainer.

 

And there ^ we have it!  😄

[elaine567]

I think the problem is that men who are not too successful or who are not attracting the women they want or feel they deserve are messaging a likely candidate and getting rejected. They then find a week/month/year later she is still on the dating site....
Logic then kicks in and says she must want to remain unattached.
BUT she is on a dating site, so I guess she has just not met anyone she is truly interested in or a suitable guy who is interested in her.
I doubt that women who want to remain unattached are setting up profiles on dating sites.

 

[Roswell91]

11 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

I think the problem is that men who are not too successful or who are not attracting the women they want or feel they deserve are messaging a likely candidate and getting rejected. They then find a week/month/year later she is still on the dating site....
Logic then kicks in and says she must want to remain unattached.
BUT she is on a dating site, so I guess she has just not met anyone she is truly interested in or a suitable guy who is interested in her.
I doubt that women who want to remain unattached are setting up profiles on dating sites.

 

Same happens to women

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roswell91

[elaine567]

1 minute ago, Roswell91 said:

Same happens to women

Yes but we don't really get single women moaning about men on dating sites who want to remain unattached.
Plenty other problems with men though...

[Roswell91]

4 hours ago, Zona said:

Looks aren't everything. He is crazy handsome with similar build to pro golfer Brooks Koepka, but unfortunately he is a raging narcissist. Very charming and fun to be around, but below the surface extremely self-centered with zero empathy. He cheated on his wife, and then moved in with AP but convinced his wife to not divorce him so he could avoid paying alimony and child support. I'm sure he has other side-chicks too.

Believe me, I am with you on holding both genders accountable for their weight issues. Nothing will change though, except it will probably continue to get worse. The only reason I brought it up is in the context of millennial women being really picky even if they are not so perfect. Maybe guys are just as picky for all I know.

 

Guys are just as picky or worse even.

I know this guy hes a 4/10 at most. But he expects a 11/10. And im like this is why you're single. In fact he even rejects the ones who look better than him but are not necessarily out of this world type of beauty which is what hes looking for.

And then he moans and whinges the rest of the time. In between that he will keep saying to me he will use the ones he doesn't  really want. 🤔🤨 for attention/to get his leg over.

Women may be picky but they will pretty much say no from the start as opposed to using and abusing the person ( which some men do). 

 

[Roswell91]

3 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Yes but we don't really get single women moaning about men on dating sites who want to remain unattached.
Plenty other problems with men though...

Men are delusional lol😂. The ones who complain like that. 

[QuietRiot]

26 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

I think the problem is that men who are not too successful or who are not attracting the women they want or feel they deserve are messaging a likely candidate and getting rejected. They then find a week/month/year later she is still on the dating site....
Logic then kicks in and says she must want to remain unattached.
BUT she is on a dating site, so I guess she has just not met anyone she is truly interested in or a suitable guy who is interested in her.
I doubt that women who want to remain unattached are setting up profiles on dating sites.

 

You're right, but with some women. I've seen the same faces throughout the years on these sites. I think SOME of them, though, are treating it like an extenstion of their social media and do it for the attention and to get an ego boost, nothing more. Some have admitted to not even had met or rarely met anyone.

For instance, there's this woman friend I have on Facebook...I happened to see her on POF. She said she's been on the site for a year and a half...and have ONLY met like 2 men that entire time. Even though she gets a lot of emails. She lives in a size-able city, but she told me since then...even though the account is there, she's rarely logged into it these days.

Some women I have met in real life, organically, when I would ask them if they ever done online dating...they said they tried it for a week, hated it, and left. lol

 

I am seeing women audibly get upset IN their profiles...the longer they've been on the site. They add on paragraphs of the kind of men that contact them, almost to the point where they talking down to their audience. 

Like they are yelling, "Please...if you're under 5'10", do NOT contact me...blah blah blah!" A lot of them have an axe to grind...you can see it in their profiles. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by QuietRiot

[Ruby Slippers]

4 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

I am seeing women audibly get upset IN their profiles...the longer they've been on the site. They add on paragraphs of the kind of men that contact them, almost to the point where they talking down to their audience. 

Like they are yelling, "Please...if you're under 5'10", do NOT contact me...blah blah blah!" A lot of them have an axe to grind...you can see it in their profiles. 

These people are to be avoided like the plague. They shouldn't be dating at all till they get that chip off their shoulder. Nobody wants to be judged for all the mistakes of somebody's previous partners. 

[OatsAndHall]

5 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

Guys are just as picky or worse even.

I know this guy hes a 4/10 at most. But he expects a 11/10. And im like this is why you're single. In fact he even rejects the ones who look better than him but are not necessarily out of this world type of beauty which is what hes looking for.

And then he moans and whinges the rest of the time. In between that he will keep saying to me he will use the ones he doesn't  really want. 🤔🤨 for attention/to get his leg over.

 

 

Studies have shown that neither gender is self-aware when it comes to their physical appearance; both sides view themselves as more attractive than "society" does. That certainly plays into all of it, especially on the dating websites. I've met my fair share of men and women who try to bat way outside of their league on those sites and get angry when it doesn't pan out for them.

And, IMO, men tend to be more whiny about the dating sites because a) they view themselves as more attractive than they are and b) they haven't figured out the numbers game yet. When I used the sites, I messaged many women all across the spectrum, in terms of "attractiveness" . Sometimes I figured I was batting out of my league, sometimes I felt like I was batting below it. But, either way, I got responses and dates, simply because of the volume of messages I was sending out.

[Roswell91]

14 minutes ago, OatsAndHall said:

 

Studies have shown that neither gender is self-aware when it comes to their physical appearance; both sides view themselves as more attractive than "society" does. That certainly plays into all of it, especially on the dating websites. I've met my fair share of men and women who try to bat way outside of their league on those sites and get angry when it doesn't pan out for them.

And, IMO, men tend to be more whiny about the dating sites because a) they view themselves as more attractive than they are and b) they haven't figured out the numbers game yet. When I used the sites, I messaged many women all across the spectrum, in terms of "attractiveness" . Sometimes I figured I was batting out of my league, sometimes I felt like I was batting below it. But, either way, I got responses and dates, simply because of the volume of messages I was sending out.

Some are delusional of course 😂. Both men and women. The  example i gave he tells me hes ugly or thinks hes ugly ( so he knows) but it doesnt stop him from aiming much higher.

Me personally, people say im attractive all the time men and women. I get hit on when im out by all types of guys..all ethnicities and ages and extremely good looking to less so. 

But even with my experience without using OLD, when i do use it i will respond to and message all guys (unattractive and attractive) a lot of the time i come across a range of totally delusional guys..who think theyre better than me😂or at least its the way it comes across. And i think seriously you're like a 6 at most and im an 8 at least ( not in a rude way). 

With respect to That i think men are completely lacking in the self awareness aspect. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roswell91

[Zona]

On dating sites, women get messaged WAY more than men, so you could be a perfectly good guy and still not get a response, because she is overwhelmed with the responses she is getting. You can't take it personally. The best thing you can do is get yourself over the fear of rejection and meet women in person. If you have to get rejected 100 times to find someone who you have a chance with, so be it. Can you imagine how many women you could meet if you joined something like a yoga club?

Women can be very choosy because of the volume of messages they receive, so if you don't really stand out in terms of physical attractiveness or other sought after qualities, you are at a huge disadvantage.

Women absolutely are picky about looks and height on dating sites, but if you meet them in person at a club, etc, you may be able to win them over if they can see you are a confident nice guy who has his crap together.  I think the dynamics of dating websites is what is driving a lot of the frustration - women getting guys only interested in hit and run, and guys being ignored if they aren't handsome and financially solid.

[Roswell91]

5 minutes ago, Zona said:

On dating sites, women get messaged WAY more than men, so you could be a perfectly good guy and still not get a response, because she is overwhelmed with the responses she is getting. You can't take it personally. The best thing you can do is get yourself over the fear of rejection and meet women in person. If you have to get rejected 100 times to find someone who you have a chance with, so be it. Can you imagine how many women you could meet if you joined something like a yoga club?

Women can be very choosy because of the volume of messages they receive, so if you don't really stand out in terms of physical attractiveness or other sought after qualities, you are at a huge disadvantage.

Women absolutely are picky about looks and height on dating sites, but if you meet them in person at a club, etc, you may be able to win them over if they can see you are a confident nice guy who has his crap together.  I think the dynamics of dating websites is what is driving a lot of the frustration - women getting guys only interested in hit and run, and guys being ignored if they aren't handsome and financially solid.

I don't think im that picky about looks. Height maybe 😂.

You just  can't generalise 

Men are more picky about looks than women are. For sure. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roswell91

[Zona]

6 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

You're right, but with some women. I've seen the same faces throughout the years on these sites. I think SOME of them, though, are treating it like an extenstion of their social media and do it for the attention and to get an ego boost, nothing more. Some have admitted to not even had met or rarely met anyone.

Yes this absolutely true and one of the reasons why you may never hear back from her. She's looking for ego strokes and is likely already in a LTR or married.

[Zona]

1 minute ago, Roswell91 said:

I don't think im that picky about looks. Height maybe 😂.

You just  can't generalise 

I have debated this with my wife. At first she insisted that women don't care about looks, which I thought was BS. Don't get me wrong, it makes sense for women to want to have offspring with someone who has good genes. I don't have a problem with that at all. No one wants their kids to be sickly, scrawny and unattractive lol.

My wife has recently changed her mind and admits women are picky about looks. I think it was watching married at first sight that convinced her. She saw it with her own eyes.

[Roswell91]

6 minutes ago, Zona said:

I have debated this with my wife. At first she insisted that women don't care about looks, which I thought was BS. Don't get me wrong, it makes sense for women to want to have offspring with someone who has good genes. I don't have a problem with that at all. No one wants their kids to be sickly, scrawny and unattractive lol.

My wife has recently changed her mind and admits women are picky about looks. I think it was watching married at first sight that convinced her. She saw it with her own eyes.

My point is not that there arent women who arent picky about looks there are. But pretty much all  men take it to the next level. 

For them its mostly about looks and nothing else. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roswell91

[OatsAndHall]

I think men and women can be equally picky when it comes to OLD, but that's just based on my experience. I used the sites off and on for nearly five years and certainly had some interesting  responses with regards to my physical appearance:

"You're cute but I'm not into guys with longer hair."

"You're cute but I don't dig guys with facial hair. I don't suppose you'll shave?"

"You're cute but I'm looking for a guy with more muscle (I'm 5'10'', 190lbs and enjoy the weight room)

"You're cute but you've got too much muscle for me (see above...)"

"I LOVE the rockstar look you have going on in some of your pics but others show you as having shorter hair. How are you wearing it right now?"

"You don't have any tats (end of message)."

"I'm not into fair skinned guys (coming from a very, very white woman)."

I never took offense to any of those messages but it certainly opened up my eyes to the nature of the sites.

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by OatsAndHall