Are more women content on remaining unattached?

[Emilie Jolie]

Just now, CaliforniaGirl said:

Okay, this is what I'm talking about! The book goes into more description of this, from Scout's point of view. Everywhere he went, just quietly talking, people LISTENED to Atticus Finch. He walked into what should have been a racist s-storm (and a murder) and quietly, commandingly talked everyone down from it. Scout cinched this by shaming the men with her innocent presence but Atticus was handling it. He walked right in there, totally unafraid but not flexing or being loud or anything gruntingly "alpha" as people seem to see things. By some unseen, unexplainable quality, everywhere he went, Atticus got attention, received respect, and of course the girls probably liked him too but his little daughter wasn't really writing about that.

Atticus is not described at all as popping out of his shirts whenever he flexed, or going out three times a week to get laid, or as being "extreeeeme!" or bungee-jumping off anything.

But every single person in that county turned and listened when Atticus entered a room.

Yep. 😍😍😍😍

All of this. Kind, humble, moral compass, quiet assurance, courageous, not afraid to lead by example, a good listener, empathetic, fair, thoughtful, forgiving, sensitive, great communicator, human... 

Dream guy.

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

5 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Achilles was the most beautiful warrior in the vast sea that was the Greek army. Easily more beautiful and more with a chiseled body than all of the other demigods. He was the best at the lyre, the best at wrestling, boxing,  composing poetry, the fastest runner in the whole of Illium. He had golden hair and green eyes, something that to this day is still uncommon in Greece. Dude was the male version of Helen of Troy, and that's talking about his physical looks. His physical strength was only surpassed by Ajax The Great, and no one ever beat him in single combat.

You expect a man like that to be humble and patient? 

Yeah, the guy who played the role of Atticus Finch, Gregory Peck was pretty good-looking. Very skinny, tho. Never understood why the movies stars of the 30s and 40s didn't lift. Kirk Douglas got to play the role of Spartacus and I'm staring at the dude and going, '' wait, my 63 year old is more built than 30-something Kirk Douglas lmao''

Achilles was a caricature of whatever the original invetor(s...he evolved like every other mythological character) thought would be "perfect." It was written into his script to be great at everything. And he wasn't the equivalent of Helen of Troy, who just stood there looking pretty. She didn't "do" anything.

It was written into Achilles' story to be what the writers and inventors THOUGHT would be a superhero. With primarily male dominance, even in "open-minded" Greece (and to a good extent, Rome), the characteristics guys liked about other guys described the ideal men...AND the women.

[nospam99]

Khal Drogo was an alpha male - could kill any other guy in a fight and got to f*** whatever women he wanted, including Daenerys. Youth gang leaders in the US are alpha males for the same reasons. In the absence of death combat, a man who can economically 'kill' his opponents is an alpha male. Ergo Trump. Males like me, who don't have the power to destroy others, kiss the asses of the alphas, not because we want to be their 'friends', but because we don't want to be their targets. Women want alphas to f*** them with the expectation that they will get scraps from the table of power. Tom Cruise may not be an alpha male, but Jack Reacher, Ethan Hunt, and Pete Mitchell are (''I'm not an alpha but I play one on film'') One of my favorite expressions is becoming THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Edited June 18, 2020 by nospam99

[hotpotato]

On 6/16/2020 at 4:04 PM, Ruby Slippers said:

Just look this board. Men tend to complain they can't find a woman to date. Women tend to complain they can't right the right man to date. Most women could go out somewhere, throw a shoe, and hit a guy who would date her. Very few men could pull that off.

I've certainly never had the experience with actual dating. For sex? Sure. It seems like most men want the sex upfront, ask questions later. I'd consider that one of the hassles of dealing with men. 

~~~~

I'm in my 30s, i live in the "boonies," and I've been single for 4 years strong. This is the longest I've ever been single, and there is no end in sight. 

My life got really fun. I can travel and have fun, challenging hobbies. Right now, I'm kinda busy. 

Dating is a chore. I'd have to go out and do a bunch of dating. I dont feel like meeting a lot of men and trying to decode their intentions. A lot of girls I know married a high school or college sweetheart. 

I have no kids, and im not crazy about being with a man who has them. The problem is most men in their 30s have kids, usually 2 or 3. That means baby momma drama and a loss of spontaneity. It's not like getting together as childless young people and starting your own family. 

Also, I like walking around the house looking a hot mess. Some guys want you to dress sexy all the time. I love lounging in baggy mens shirts and sweatpants. 

 

[Ruby Slippers]

2 minutes ago, hotpotato said:

I've certainly never had the experience with actual dating. For sex? Sure. It seems like most men want the sex upfront, ask questions later. I'd consider that one of the hassles of dealing with men. 

Also, I like walking around the house looking a hot mess. Some guys want you to dress sexy all the time. I love lounging in baggy mens shirts and sweatpants. 

Yeah, I totally agree with you that it's no fun to be approached by so many men with their intention for sex ASAP on full display. 

I kinda feel you on being comfortable at home, versus feeling pressure to look cute for him. I found a happy medium for working at home/hanging out times, which is comfy and practical but fitted and revealing enough (tank top and fitted soft shorts), and then I wear a short, slinkier gown to bed, with lacy lingerie now and then for fun. If he really likes you, that'll more than do the trick.

[Azincourt]

8 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

And Alexander was bi at the very least, but more probably gay. I guess gay guys can be alpha males (??? not sure) but...again...what the hell is the definition again? LOL. I thought it was, the guy at the top who gets laid all the time because he's so commanding and huge and all that.

But not just getting laid, EVERYBODY is supposed to love an alpha male. Right? He walks into the room and girls love him and kids love him and guys want to be his friend.

I don't think that describes every big guy or every guy with money, by a long shot...I personally think it's more about charisma, commanding the respect of others just by "being"...again...not sure now.

Yet another reason there IS no alpha male. I know a lot of guys just gauge that on, "he gets laid constantly." Okay...well...take away the money or the looks or whatever from that list and the guy is no longer getting laid all the time...so how could he have been an alpha male? He was just a regular guy who made a bunch of money or who had, for a period of time in his prime, good looks. Then probably those were gone or going. Does that make sense?

Homosexuality wasn't a concept back in Ancient Greece. Men would sleep with guys and with women. Of course gay guys can be Alpha males. An Alpha male isn't merely the guy who sleeps with a lot of women.  An Alpha is Harrison Ford in the Blade Runner movies. An Alpha is Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind.  Charlton Heston in Ben-Hur. It's the guy who gets what he achieves what he wants to achieve even if he has to suffer greatly for it.

And of course, the greatest Alpha male of the modern age is Cristiano Ronaldo. Born into massive poverty, lost his father when he was a teenager, from rags to riches. The world's first soccer player to gain 1 billion euros in History. He's not even 40 years old yet. 6'2'' 190lbs at 4%  body fat, and he's a vegetarian no less. Gorgeous.  He's more of a male model than most male models. He's incredible. The best soccer player of all time. Incredible. That man only has 5 children but if it was up to me, he could easily impregnant a million, two million women to spread his perfectness.

Hm, looks help, but it's not that important when it comes to sleeping with women.  One of my idols, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova, wasn't a handsome man. Deeply tanned(and men used to powder their skin white) a big, hooked nose, deeply scarred with smallpox, acne, etc, and yet he slept with more than 130 women. Beautiful women. The most beautiful of women. Aristrocatic women. Women married to rich, powerful men. He was amazing, lost his virginity to two beautiful twin sisters apparently. 

Charisma is more important, especially when you live in Ibiza and every guy is a fashion model, so what it matters being hot when everyone's hot. Of course I wouldn't mind being an exact copy of Brad Pitt in the movie Troy(2004).  

Man, I could get so many roles in movies with serious budgets behind them.

Like I said before, there's a myriad of ways a man becomes or is born an Alpha male.

Wealth. Jeff Bezos is Alpha.

Power. Trump is Alpha.

Beauty. Brad Pitt's an Alpha.

Success. Tom Cruise is Alpha.

Literature. Stephen King is an Alpha male, the top dog of horror authors.

And the list goes on and on about what makes ONE MAN be above all others.

Prince Harry is an Alpha male and I got a lotta more hair than he does go figure.

[Azincourt]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

And definitely not Tom Cruise. Am I alone in this? He's a freaky, weird-religion-espousing, jumping all over the couch, giggling squirrely guy. He seems/feels paranoid, freaked out all the time, smiling waaaay too hard, the opposite of confidence.

He paid for his sister's college education. Who does that? Who can manage that but a few? By the time he was only 24, he was a worldclass movie star because of Top Gun. Everyone in the world knows who Tom Cruise is. He's the most succcessful actor of the 20th century. His movies have brought tens of billions to the studios he's worked for. He has a massive personal fortune. He's only 5'5'' but he's a movie star, when you can easily lose a role if you aren't 6'2'' or something these days. Even at 6 feet tall I feel short these days, especially with all of these Europeans around. But he managed to become what he is, the greatest Hollywood star since Rudolfo Valentino and Errol Flynn.

I bow deeply to the Master of the performing arts that Tom Cruise is.

I don't care if the dude believes Aliens have invaded planet earth or something. Every actor worships at the temple of Tom Cruise. He's an Alpha male. Probably not the best father or husband but hey man,  I would rather be the most famous actor in the world and looking as good as he does in his 60s, than I would like to be  a good father or husband.

 

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

 

 

What he has is a face that looks awesome (or did, he's aging like anybody else but he's more or less holding his own). His acting is...urghhhhh...but...his face looks good so he's positioned in leading male roles. Other people in his movies have to point out how great he is for the audience to believe it. "I should throw you in jail, Maverick, but you're just TOO darned good..." (Can't remember the exact first part of that.)

 

Yeah, you know I respect your opinion, right, but it ain't his face the key to his success. It's his immense talent and dedication to the craft. He lives, breathes and sleeps movies. Seriously. He's one of the few male stars that doesn't use his money and wealth to sleep with hot women. Dude only wants to do in his life is to watch movies and do movies.  There's lots of men who are hot and will never be an actor let alone an A-list Hollywood longer than I've been alive holy baby jesus.

I've met so many male models who look as good as a young David Gandy, and they're still stuck doing Indie movies lmao, whereas Tom Cruise was a teenager and was already starring in Hollywood blockbusters. Sweet Jesus.

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

If he weren't poisitioned constantly into "other people in the movie look up to him," if he didn't stand on boxes or have his leading ladies bend their knees under the skirt, if he didn't have his scripts written so he seemed "confident" (even as his face looks harsh and nervous, he always seems to look surprised and/or nervous) there is no way in hell this man would have made money in movies, and that's his single "alpha" trait if you will: he has a ton of money. Because of his face, and that's about it.

 

 

Humphrey Bogart claimed to be 5'10''.  Yeah, when he was standing on an apple box(box where the actor stands on to look taller) when in truth the dude was no taller than 5'4'' and his wife was taller than him, but he still  became the biggest star of his time, despite looking old and being physically unattractive.  Audie Murphy is the most decorated II world war veteran, standing at 5'3'' and becoming a movie star despite that.  It's not about the height or whatever. It's about the deep masculinity that comes from within them. Men were so masculine 50 years ago, nowadays most 20-something dudes have chins smaller than my knuckle bones, and jawlines that look more Disney Princess than Conan the Barbarian.

 

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

He loses that face in any way, the money goes. So how is that alpha?

I hope this is making sense. Some guys here seem to think "alpha" just means the guy gets laid constantly. Any guy with tons of money gets laid constantly; add a nice face or body and it's more. Because people want to be associated with that fame or money. As soon as these go, he's not the top dog anymore. If it can go that fleeingly then how was he ever the alpha male?

He's extremely rich. The world's most popular movie actor(yeah, I know, there's lots of Bollywood dudes who are famous). Every movie he was in became a smashing hit. He starred alongside Paul Newman!

One of the last bastions of golden age Hollywood, when every man had a jawline the size of a cadillac, and every woman was tall, slender, and looked 18 at the age of 30. 

It's not necessarily about getting sex. Any 18 year old with deep pockets can get lots and lots of sex in The Netherlands in the red district, but only a handful of men have ever done what Tom Cruise has done in his life.

[CaliforniaGirl]

6 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

He paid for his sister's college education. Who does that? Who can manage that but a few? By the time he was only 24, he was a worldclass movie star because of Top Gun. Everyone in the world knows who Tom Cruise is. He's the most succcessful actor of the 20th century. His movies have brought tens of billions to the studios he's worked for. He has a massive personal fortune. He's only 5'5'' but he's a movie star, when you can easily lose a role if you aren't 6'2'' or something these days. Even at 6 feet tall I feel short these days, especially with all of these Europeans around. But he managed to become what he is, the greatest Hollywood star since Rudolfo Valentino and Errol Flynn.

I bow deeply to the Master of the performing arts that Tom Cruise is.

I don't care if the dude believes Aliens have invaded planet earth or something. Every actor worships at the temple of Tom Cruise. He's an Alpha male. Probably not the best father or husband but hey man,  I would rather be the most famous actor in the world and looking as good as he does in his 60s, than I would like to be  a good father or husband.

 

 

Yeah, you know I respect your opinion, right, but it ain't his face the key to his success. It's his immense talent and dedication to the craft. He lives, breathes and sleeps movies. Seriously. He's one of the few male stars that doesn't use his money and wealth to sleep with hot women. Dude only wants to do in his life is to watch movies and do movies.  There's lots of men who are hot and will never be an actor let alone an A-list Hollywood longer than I've been alive holy baby jesus.

I've met so many male models who look as good as a young David Gandy, and they're still stuck doing Indie movies lmao, whereas Tom Cruise was a teenager and was already starring in Hollywood blockbusters. Sweet Jesus.

 

Humphrey Bogart claimed to be 5'10''.  Yeah, when he was standing on an apple box(box where the actor stands on to look taller) when in truth the dude was no taller than 5'4'' and his wife was taller than him, but he still  became the biggest star of his time, despite looking old and being physically unattractive.  Audie Murphy is the most decorated II world war veteran, standing at 5'3'' and becoming a movie star despite that.  It's not about the height or whatever. It's about the deep masculinity that comes from within them. Men were so masculine 50 years ago, nowadays most 20-something dudes have chins smaller than my knuckle bones, and jawlines that look more Disney Princess than Conan the Barbarian.

 

He's extremely rich. The world's most popular movie actor(yeah, I know, there's lots of Bollywood dudes who are famous). Every movie he was in became a smashing hit. He starred alongside Paul Newman!

One of the last bastions of golden age Hollywood, when every man had a jawline the size of a cadillac, and every woman was tall, slender, and looked 18 at the age of 30. 

It's not necessarily about getting sex. Any 18 year old with deep pockets can get lots and lots of sex in The Netherlands in the red district, but only a handful of men have ever done what Tom Cruise has done in his life.

Okay, but this is what I've been saying...what women think of alpha may not be what men think of as alpha. Even from person to person of the same sex, and even among people that don't really believe in the concept of alpha think different guys are alpha...

So it's kind of meaningless...

Yes, some guys have extraordinary fame and get laid a lot. I don't think there's any confusion about that. And? Is that the envy of the whole PUA thingie? That some guys get laid a lot? Is that like...the whole thing? And you have to become a superstar who pays for someone's college education (that latter is more "generous," something that didn't you just say earlier in the thread was beta?) to get laid a lot? Is that the whole goal and the idea? I don't really get the whole "be an alpha male" thing but it does seem to come down to: wow! They get laid a lot.

That's seriously the whole thing to revolve one's life around? You don't have a just-in-case hand? (sorry)

[Azincourt]

14 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Quote

Okay, but this is what I've been saying...what women think of alpha may not be what men think of as alpha. Even from person to person of the same sex, and even among people that don't really believe in the concept of alpha think different guys are alpha...

My mother and my sisters and my aunts are pretty vocal about the men they are attracted to and what they would with them.

Mom always taking about how hot Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Montgomery Clift, Stephen Boyd and others were.

Growing up with younger sisters, not a day went by without hearing them talk about Justin Bieber. 

The definition of what an Alpha male is, and what makes him a god amongst all other men differs, sure, but they all share the same characteristics one way another. Physical power. Male Beauty. Fame. Wealth. or artistic talent. Ya think 80 year old Mick Jagger is attractive? Nah, but his 21 year old Brazilian girlfriend who gave birth to his son, or daughter, sure thinks he's alpha.

Kindness, sweetness, loyalty, dedication, devotion, generosity. Those aren't Alpha trails. Do women want to sleep with priests? Because priests have those qualities and others. To a woman an Alpha male is the male who has a combination of all of those psychological traits AND physical beauty, whereas to me I couldn't care less that Tom Cruise belongs to a crazy cult. Most people in the world who are religious already belong to one. It's his talent, it's his artistic gifts, and it's his permanence in the Industry, that is in it's nature so transient, so cruel, and so vain. It loves you one moment then forgets you in 3 seconds time.

Quote

 

 

So it's kind of meaningless...

Yes, some guys have extraordinary fame and get laid a lot. I don't think there's any confusion about that. And? Is that the envy of the whole PUA thingie? That some guys get laid a lot? Is that like...the whole thing? And you have to become a superstar who pays for someone's college education (that latter is more "generous," something that didn't you just say earlier in the thread was beta?) to get laid a lot? Is that the whole goal and the idea? I don't really get the whole "be an alpha male" thing but it does seem to come down to: wow! They get laid a lot.

That's seriously the whole thing to revolve one's life around? You don't have a just-in-case hand? (sorry)

Yes!

It's the envy of not just the Pick-up artist movement but also the envy of a very large amount of men,  most, if they were to be honest about their true feelings and didn't care about what people think of them for being honest.

To be able to sleep with gorgeous women as easily as drawing breath.  I've never been able of having an one night stand with a victoria's secret despite pouring more charm and charisma and sweetness into it than this earth of ours has, in years of existence.  I've never managed to sleep with a wicked weasel(g-string bikini models) model, but 50 year old Leonardo Dicaprio with his dad body and his face that looks like a smashed plate of potatoes starts dating a victoria's secret model when she turns 18, dates her until the age of 25, then dumps her and gets a new 18 year old victoria secret model.

And I can't even get one kiss from a victoria secret model.

Because I'm not Alpha, and he is. He is a god next to me because of his money and influence and his kingdom within Hollywood. Despite the fact that I make 18-30 year old Dicaprio look like a bum. Skinny little man with narrow shoulders and small traps, meh.

Quote

That's seriously the whole thing to revolve one's life around? You don't have a just-in-case hand? (sorry)

A hand is not the same as sex with a gorgeous woman. Sex with a young, attractive woman increases a man's status amongst other men like, like a commoner marrying the Prince of England and getting pregnant with his kids.

I was once dating a 19 year old fashion model/actress that dumped me for a 60 year old Danny Devito look-alike, TV executive with a minimum yearly income of 5 million dollars. That was 10 years ago. Now he has a baby with her and he looks 20 years younger. Because having someone in your life, like that, someone every guy wants to be with, brings new life into your body. That's for sure. Maybe that's why Pharaoh Ramssess II lived to be 100 years old when the average lifespan for the Ancient Egyptians was 30 years.

 

Edited June 18, 2020 by Azincourt

[Ellener]

4 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I'll take Spider Man.

weirdly there's a Spiderman picture on my dating profile!

[basil67]

17 hours ago, Zona said:

I see some questionable stereotypes here. The main one is insinuating that women don't enjoy sex and want to live like monks. That sure isn't my experience, nor what studies have shown. I would say that any woman I have been with has about 5 to 10 O's for each one of mine. What's there not to like? 

Which studies are you referring to?  And which age group?    The women you're talking about are still wanting relationships and sex, so they aren't part of the equation of women who have retired from dating.    Now, I've talked about not wanting sex as being a reason to retire from dating, but I'm talking in the context of my own experience and a handful of long term single, older women I've spoke with.  One of them laughed and said that she likes to say that she hasn't had sex this century.

I will give you a sample of one:   Prior to menopause, my sex drive was sky high.  Multiple orgasms, always thinking about sex, loved men  and when I stopped wanting sex with my ex-h, I had sex with other men.  I was an incorrigible flirt.    As you say, what's not to like?

Cue menopause.  I loved sex so much that I'm devastated by my loss of sex drive and hormones.  Yes, I've tried working with doctors to address it.   But that part of me has shut up shop.  I do have sporadic sex with my husband because I love him, but it's no longer physically pleasurable.  I don't aroused either physically or emotionally. 

So let's take this back to dating: If, heaven forbid I was single again, why would I want a relationship if I don't want sex?   I guess it could work if the guy also had low sex drive and was happy to snuggle, but I think most men want sex. 

Of course, not all post menopausal women have lost their sex drive.  And good for them.   But I've had conversations about dating again with older women who's reaction to getting back into all of that is to literally wave their hands in a dismissive way and make a noise like "fffttt".  

On the positive, at least my hormones aren't getting me into trouble anymore

 

Edited June 18, 2020 by basil67

[elaine567]

Babies and the menopause  and being with men who don't turn them on, wreak havoc with women's sex drives.
Once the sex dries up it is difficult to get it started again.
Even the thought of a new partner may not reawaken that drive.
With no real sex drive then the need for a man or male company diminishes.

A FB group I was a member of comprised a very big and  diverse group of women of all ages, 20s to 50+, married single divorced.
Not a feminist group or activist group of any sort, just normal average women living ordinary lives.
One poster brought up the subject of sex and said she would be happy never to have sex ever again.
The group "exploded" with post after post after post from women of all ages who felt exactly the same way.
They were fed up of sex, fed up of being asked for sex, fed up of pretending they liked it, fed up of men sulking when they didn't get it.. etc.etc.
I thought there a be a few disgruntled women, but I was shocked just how many in the group felt that way.

[Fresh_Start]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Okay, but this is what I've been saying...what women think of alpha may not be what men think of as alpha. Even from person to person of the same sex, and even among people that don't really believe in the concept of alpha think different guys are alpha...

So it's kind of meaningless...

Yes, some guys have extraordinary fame and get laid a lot. I don't think there's any confusion about that. And? Is that the envy of the whole PUA thingie? That some guys get laid a lot? Is that like...the whole thing? And you have to become a superstar who pays for someone's college education (that latter is more "generous," something that didn't you just say earlier in the thread was beta?) to get laid a lot? Is that the whole goal and the idea? I don't really get the whole "be an alpha male" thing but it does seem to come down to: wow! They get laid a lot.

That's seriously the whole thing to revolve one's life around? You don't have a just-in-case hand? (sorry)

The term has become distorted and bastardized by pop culture. 

In the animal kingdom, an alpha male is the dominant male that will mate with every female in his territory.  Human beings have not evolved this way.  We don't live in packs or prides and there isn't a singular guy in your neighborhood who has sex with everyone else's wives while their husbands submissively permit it.  Therefore there's really no such thing as an actual "alpha male" among modern homo sapiens.  The preoccupation that some guys have with being viewed as an alpha is fueled by their misguided perception of masculinity and societal standards. An alpha male is literally the dominant male with aggressive, demanding, and domineering tendencies.  Those can be circumstantially desirable traits in competitive sports, business negotiation, and even in the bedroom to some extent, but in general most women don't consider those to be desirable traits in a man.   

There is actual research which dismisses this whole notion of an "alpha male" in human society as a myth.  The prevailing traits of an ideal man/romantic partner typically consist of being assertive, confident, easygoing, kind, and sensitive, without being aggressive, demanding, dominant (alpha), quiet, shy, or submissive (beta). In other words, a prestigious man, not a dominant man.  You also don't have to be a celebrity in order to inspire respect and admiration or have high status.  There are plenty of sh*tbags in Hollywood (Harvey Weinstein, for example), politics, and the ultra-wealthy who inspire zero respect or admiration.  A lot of these celebrities and billionaires are also so pampered that they don't even fit the archetype of an actual "alpha male".    

Additionally, you have to consider the fact that people have different types and tastes and that some women prefer men who fit the "beta" archetype.  I personally know several women who prefer shy and quiet guys.  So this whole alpha male and beta male nonsense is just an elaborate e-peen contest.  We're an advanced species; the rules don't apply.   

Edited June 18, 2020 by Fresh_Start

[QuietRiot]

15 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Babies and the menopause  and being with men who don't turn them on, wreak havoc with women's sex drives.
Once the sex dries up it is difficult to get it started again.
Even the thought of a new partner may not reawaken that drive.
With no real sex drive then the need for a man or male company diminishes.

A FB group I was a member of comprised a very big and  diverse group of women of all ages, 20s to 50+, married single divorced.
Not a feminist group or activist group of any sort, just normal average women living ordinary lives.
One poster brought up the subject of sex and said she would be happy never to have sex ever again.
The group "exploded" with post after post after post from women of all ages who felt exactly the same way.
They were fed up of sex, fed up of being asked for sex, fed up of pretending they liked it, fed up of men sulking when they didn't get it.. etc.etc.
I thought there a be a few disgruntled women, but I was shocked just how many in the group felt that way.

 

15 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Babies and the menopause  and being with men who don't turn them on, wreak havoc with women's sex drives.
Once the sex dries up it is difficult to get it started again.
Even the thought of a new partner may not reawaken that drive.
With no real sex drive then the need for a man or male company diminishes.

A FB group I was a member of comprised a very big and  diverse group of women of all ages, 20s to 50+, married single divorced.
Not a feminist group or activist group of any sort, just normal average women living ordinary lives.
One poster brought up the subject of sex and said she would be happy never to have sex ever again.
The group "exploded" with post after post after post from women of all ages who felt exactly the same way.
They were fed up of sex, fed up of being asked for sex, fed up of pretending they liked it, fed up of men sulking when they didn't get it.. etc.etc.
I thought there a be a few disgruntled women, but I was shocked just how many in the group felt that way.

Even women in their 20s? That's probably a small percentage. I can see this happening with near-menopausal or menopausal women. I have dated my share of women that had a sex drive of a man. Thank heavens for that. LOL one of them was 50

[CaliforniaGirl]

46 minutes ago, Fresh_Start said:

The term has become distorted and bastardized by pop culture. 

In the animal kingdom, an alpha male is the dominant male that will mate with every female in his territory.  Human beings have not evolved this way.  We don't live in packs or prides and there isn't a singular guy in your neighborhood who has sex with everyone else's wives while their husbands submissively permit it.  Therefore there's really no such thing as an actual "alpha male" among modern homo sapiens.  The preoccupation that some guys have with being viewed as an alpha is fueled by their misguided perception of masculinity and societal standards. An alpha male is literally the dominant male with aggressive, demanding, and domineering tendencies.  Those can be circumstantially desirable traits in competitive sports, business negotiation, and even in the bedroom to some extent, but in general most women don't consider those to be desirable traits in a man.   

There is actual research which dismisses this whole notion of an "alpha male" in human society as a myth.  The prevailing traits of an ideal man/romantic partner typically consist of being assertive, confident, easygoing, kind, and sensitive, without being aggressive, demanding, dominant (alpha), quiet, shy, or submissive (beta). In other words, a prestigious man, not a dominant man.  You also don't have to be a celebrity in order to inspire respect and admiration or have high status.  There are plenty of sh*tbags in Hollywood (Harvey Weinstein, for example), politics, and the ultra-wealthy who inspire zero respect or admiration.  A lot of these celebrities and billionaires are also so pampered that they don't even fit the archetype of an actual "alpha male".    

Additionally, you have to consider the fact that people have different types and tastes and that some women prefer men who fit the "beta" archetype.  I personally know several women who prefer shy and quiet guys.  So this whole alpha male and beta male nonsense is just an elaborate e-peen contest.  We're an advanced species; the rules don't apply.   

Wow, great explanation! Thank you!

[Woggle]

The alpha male thing is just a cover for the fact that is much as some women claim to be against so called toxic masculinity many are attracted to masculine strength. They like masculine swagger and power and all of that. Respect is the number one non physical factor in a woman's attraction and women just don't respect men who carry themselves as if they are apologizing for being male. The alpha male thing is a way to reclaim masculinity in an unhealthy way.

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 hours ago, Ellener said:

weirdly there's a Spiderman picture on my dating profile!

Hands off!!! He's mine.

[Woggle]

I prefer Wonder Woman. Seriously Gal Gadot is a very attractive woman.

[Fresh_Start]

3 hours ago, Ellener said:

weirdly there's a Spiderman picture on my dating profile!

Well he does enjoy spending time on the web. 😏

[Zona]

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

Cue menopause.  I loved sex so much that I'm devastated by my loss of sex drive and hormones.  Yes, I've tried working with doctors to address it.   But that part of me has shut up shop.  I do have sporadic sex with my husband because I love him, but it's no longer physically pleasurable.  I don't aroused either physically or emotionally. 

That's a shame, and yes it obviously happens to a lot of women after menopause. I don't know how prevalent it is to be honest. Too bad hormone replacement didn't work.

My wife is younger than me by a few years. Probably 5 to 8 years away from the start of menopause. I guess I better enjoy her sky-high sex drive while I can.

[basil67]

Yesh, I don’t know stats on it either.  I only know that different women experience it differently.   And yes, keep on enjoying your wife 

[thefooloftheyear]

An attorney friend of mine a few years back got a full blown sexually explicit text from a real estate broker to her lover/bf/whatever describing what she was going to do to him later than evening that was meant only to go to him, but wound up as a group text to a bunch of business contacts......….Oops!!😂

The woman that sent it, though was in her mid 60s....Talk about embarrassing...But it does go to show that not all of them have packed the tents and closed the factories..

TFY

Edited June 19, 2020 by thefooloftheyear

[basil67]

14 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Men who complain about being unable to find a woman to date are men who don't take care of themselves. If they respected themselves, it wouldn't be hard to find physically attractive women who'd love to sleep with them/date them.  

I would say that not being able to get a date is more connected to social skills.   Social skills cover the whole spectrum between dressing for an occasion and knowing how to do small talk.   A large proportion of those who lack social skills would be classified as a having a social skill disorder such as ASD.

I know quite a number of young men would would dearly love to have a girlfriend, but due to their ASD or other disability, they aren't able to connect.  Sex workers are likely to be their best option.   It's so very rude to lump all dateless guys together as having no self respect or not taking care of themselves.

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Ladies here in the USA got a pretty good game going right now. They have a great support system with other women whereas men kinda stay to ourselves a lot more. If they want male company, a date, sex, ego boosts, or what have you, all of that is either a social media post or dating profile away. So, yeah. I think women do a lot better these days when they remain unattached, at least compared with men. 

This is all true. It's a good time in history for us. 

[QuietRiot]

3 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Ladies here in the USA got a pretty good game going right now. They have a great support system with other women whereas men kinda stay to ourselves a lot more. If they want male company, a date, sex, ego boosts, or what have you, all of that is either a social media post or dating profile away. So, yeah. I think women do a lot better these days when they remain unattached, at least compared with men. 

This explains why you see a lot of marriages or relationships end because typically the woman is the socialite, and their man is not. There's this one woman that was married toa guy for several years. He pretty much always kept to himself or had a very small circle of friends, while her...she always liked being the center of attention. On FB she's popular for no reason.

She has no career, works at a Vitamin store, and nothing more. Very attractive and gregarious. When she brought her husband to a social gathering...he'd sit on a barstool, by himself, barely socializing. Some thought she was single as he wasn't anywhere near her and he just let her socialize. He deleted his FB profile.

This caused incompatibility in their marriage, and thus it ended. When it ended, a female friend took her in....already, she had a safety net of a female friend.