CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 4 hours ago, an0nym0us123 said: Well as the posters above have pointed out because im so busy for half the year at least, many women are put off because they think i have no time for them What did you think of my therapy suggestion? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 On 6/27/2020 at 3:58 PM, an0nym0us123 said: Not too much trouble getting dates with the pictures i use. However like i say these are the best, best angles and lighting so the possibility arises that they could be disappointed when they see the real me. So the majority i can have a decent conversation with. Some it feels like we have more to talk about than others. Some do a lot of talking and i listen, others i have to ask more questions. A few were all over me and we ended up kissing. One faked a reason to get out of there. I keep coming back to one particular woman which i had 4 dates with. We had tons to talk about. On date 2, which she set up before i even had a chance to, after dinner we went a walk. We were together for hours. we were sitting in the car chatting and laughing for 2 hours. At the end i went in for the kiss and we kissed for half a minute before saying good night. As i was driving home she was messaging me telling me how much fun she had. How she was happy she got a kiss and wished she had gone for one earlier but she was nervous. I messaged her back and told her dont worry i am going in for the kill next time to which she replied she could not wait. And thats exactly what happened. Moment i got close i pulled her firmly towards me and kissed her and she happily reciprocated. She was the one woman in my life that i really wanted more than anything. I doubt i will ever feel anything like that again Just how different are these pics from the way you present person-to-person? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 5 hours ago, an0nym0us123 said: A no win situation for me i guess. Think ive more or less given up anyway and theres always going to be a reason to get rejected All right. I'm sorry to hear this, but you can have a full life on your own or with friends...travelling, hobbies, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 6 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: All I’m saying is a lot of women would want more time than you currently have, based on your work schedule. You’d need a good fit schedule wise. So a woman that’s equally as busy as you, or one that doesn’t want a lot of time spent together. But presumably they know this before agreeing to the date (it's one of the standard things for both men and women to talk about) and he is getting to the point of meeting them anyway. So that's probably not it. My feeling is the OP should just do want he says he's planning to.do, give up since there's no solution and just live his life. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 4 hours ago, an0nym0us123 said: Well as the posters above have pointed out because im so busy for half the year at least, many women are put off because they think i have no time for them Well, except you immediately countered that by saying it's "never been a problem in the past." So um...huh?? You've rejected every suggestion here except the ones that already support your worldview so why keep asking and giving people the runaround here? You have your answer, isn't that the end of it? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, an0nym0us123 said: Its interesting that men and women are both encouraged to work hard and have a career or business. Then when you do you are told you are not relationship material. To me, it's about work life balance. I wouldn't want someone who doesn't work. Nor would I want someone who is a workaholic. If a guy worked 10-12 hours a day, seven days per week, when would we go out to a weekend lunch, flea markets, or day trips or even get essential shopping done together? Thing is though, I value quality time. A woman who is happy to do her own thing a lot of the time may be perfectly fine with dating you. Also, having assets is the icing on the cake. The right personality must underscore the assets. Edited June 29, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 7 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: What did you think of my therapy suggestion? What exactly do you think i need therapy for? 7 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Just how different are these pics from the way you present person-to-person? I dont know, i picked the ones that i look best in. But latterly i was sending other pics, selfies if i was chatting to them on whattsapp and it did not put them off. Think what i will do is use a few poorer pictures as well as the good ones. 7 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Well, except you immediately countered that by saying it's "never been a problem in the past." So um...huh?? You've rejected every suggestion here except the ones that already support your worldview so why keep asking and giving people the runaround here? You have your answer, isn't that the end of it? It wasnt a problem in the past. Some times of year i am busier than others. However i work for myself so i can make my own hours to an extent. As you have pointed out i get 1st dates with the women knowing what i do so i dont think its a case of the woman realises during the date that im a busy person. But if im talking to a woman online and she says she wants to meet someone to travel the world with i tell her she has the wrong guy and i move along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 7 hours ago, basil67 said: To me, it's about work life balance. I wouldn't want someone who doesn't work. Nor would I want someone who is a workaholic. If a guy worked 10-12 hours a day, seven days per week, when would we go out to a weekend lunch, flea markets, or day trips or even get essential shopping done together? Thing is though, I value quality time. A woman who is happy to do her own thing a lot of the time may be perfectly fine with dating you. Also, having assets is the icing on the cake. The right personality must underscore the I think if the woman wants to spend lots of time together, whole weekends away etc then im not right for her. As i said some have said the want to travel, thats no use to me as i have no time to go away for months. There are currently 800 animals on the farm i have to attend. My job is my hobby though, i dont have an hour commute every day through traffic or a boss getting on my nerves. I can basically do what i like so i wouldnt want to change that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 7 hours ago, enigma32 said: Stop taking those perfect pictures and posting them online. That's what 99% of women do and we always end up disappointed seeing her in person. My pics are almost all garbage and everyone I meet tells me I look much better in person. I would rather pleasantly surprise a woman when I first meet her than I would have her disappointed right away. You won't get as many first dates but you will probably get more 2nd dates. Yes i think you are right. I am going to mix in a few poorer pictures and see how it goes. As you say this may mean less dates but at least i wont be accused of being catfish Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 8 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: There are currently 800 animals on the farm i have to attend. Do you have workers/family to help you? Do you breed the animals too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 My father still works but he is getting old now. Yes about 400 lambs and 15 calves born here every year. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 7 hours ago, enigma32 said: Stop taking those perfect pictures and posting them online. That's what 99% of women do and we always end up disappointed seeing her in person. My pics are almost all garbage and everyone I meet tells me I look much better in person. I would rather pleasantly surprise a woman when I first meet her than I would have her disappointed right away. You won't get as many first dates but you will probably get more 2nd dates. Very good suggestion I think. Give this a try and see how it goes. One thing about OLD is it is visual, there isn't much point having the very best pictures which you cant replicate in person. I am told women love animal pictures, so maybe the OP should pose with a lamb and post that picture on OLD. I know it sounds ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 31 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: My father still works but he is getting old now. Yes about 400 lambs and 15 calves born here every year. -A lot of hard work and it often doesn't stop once they are born either. You need a special kind of a woman. You basically need a farmer. I doubt these women are rejecting you because of your looks or personality, it is your lifestyle that is putting them off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 I met a couple of women who were essentially wanting a hookup, but wanted to go out for drinks first. They both rejected me to. I dont think my job was a problem in that particular instance. But i will take your point some women will not want to be with a guy who is so busy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 11 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: I met a couple of women who were essentially wanting a hookup, but wanted to go out for drinks first. They both rejected me to. That may not have been anything to do with you. Some will duck out of hookups as what seemed like a great idea is not so great when faced with the reality... Link to post Share on other sites
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2020 Author Share Posted June 29, 2020 I think what i will do is open a new tinder account and use the good photos and some poorer ones but im not going to be wasting much time with the whole thing, but there is always a slim chance. Of all the women i attracted in real life i didnt actually do anything, but im not sure how that will play out online. But does it matter? I pretty much always knew i would end in this position so its not something i am un prepared for or overly depressed about. It is what it is.. Link to post Share on other sites
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