CaliforniaGirl Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Bluesky00 said: Just last week he reached out to me and he sent me pics of his junk and wanted me to send him a picture of me playing with my toy. I didn’t want to send him one initially, because I was hairy down there, and told him I didn’t shave. He still wanted the pic, so I just sent him one. And didn’t respond to that. Was that hairy picture that I sent to him a turnoff? Or dealbreaker? No. Sorry for this, but...maybe that was enough. Maybe he just was too lazy to go get it so he saw it instead? Geez, girl. Get a better FB. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 18, 2020 Author Share Posted June 18, 2020 But The last time That I saw him he was all lovely dovely with me. And that was 2 weeks ago. He seemed happy and satisfied and he finished. His behavior then showed me that he was still interested Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 18, 2020 Author Share Posted June 18, 2020 I sent him a few texts after that response last night and I went off at him asking why and told him he was a liar when he told me we were gonna have sex regularly and that he should at least have some decency to tell me Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: Did he think the sex was bad??!??? No, I meant good as in "any"..in my world all sex is good.. Edited June 18, 2020 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 19, 2020 Author Share Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: @Bluesky00 I think I understand where you are from your responses. You Don't really understand what you are in the FWB situation. Like I said... he may have something better going on. So it's not "Absurd" at all. AND... As @elaine567 so delicately put it... you are a free call girl for him... and you are not in charge. At the beginning, he may have said yes when you asked because he was horny, and it was "New". Now... it's not new, and he doesn't need sex from you at the moment. For all you know... he has 3 more girls in the same situation. Sure... there are guys who say yes... but it depends on when they had it last. BUT... when that woman gets gets crazy, or clingy... then that will quickly turn into a NO because the guy doesn't want to deal with it. This is the same reason why I cut off a couple FWB I had. I don't know if he is totally done with yo or not... but he is in control, and you have to wait until he contacts you. I am sorry for what you are going through... but you aren't the GF in this situation, and you aren't entitled to any explanations from him. I don’t understand the whole, men are in “control” when it comes to reaching out to women and when THEY want it but in the bedroom majority of them want the women to be in control of the sex, take lead. A guy I hooked up with last year told me that I could “put more work” into but the sex wasn’t bad. I also heard other guys it’s only bad sex with a woman doesn’t put any effort into in. I’m like wth? So, the rule is women should be coy/shy/reserved/don’t ever be masculine to a man-aka reaching out first but be masculine in the bedroom ? Makes no sense. I like to be in control when it comes to reaching out, but I like it when men are in control in the women. I’m submissive. I’m taking control by reaching out/isn’t that what men want? Controlling women? And I can take control in the bedroom, but since guys don’t like communicating with me what they want and ask me to be control I assume everything is good. Edited June 19, 2020 by Bluesky00 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 This is way too much stress for a girl to be going through just to get sex. It's your turn to not respond when he reaches out again. And then keep ignoring him, you can find a better casual situation if that's all you want. I agree with the poster who said a friend wouldn't be so dismissive, so my guess is you were just f***buddies, and he's turned out to not be a very good one. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 27 minutes ago, FMW said: This is way too much stress for a girl to be going through just to get sex. It's your turn to not respond when he reaches out again. And then keep ignoring him, you can find a better casual situation if that's all you want. I agree with the poster who said a friend wouldn't be so dismissive, so my guess is you were just f***buddies, and he's turned out to not be a very good one. I agree with this. You can't find another guy who just wants sex? I have a feeling (OP) that you aren't just interested in sex. I think you're using it as a "holding place" until he develops feelings for you. He won't. And anyway, do you want him to? Pardon me, but he's an *ssh*le. This guy treats you like DIRT. He's mean and awful. And you turn cartwheels for him. You take pics and send them, baring yourself literally, hoping he'll respond and he doesn't and your response to that is to ask a forum if you did something wrong??? Lady. Please. He knows he can get you to do anything and he is so "meh" about it that he didn't even want to bother going out of his way to actually see you, and he didn't even want to see your face, he literally just wanted to see your one part and I'm sure he got off on it and that was plenty for him. He thinks you are nothing. Nothing. Not even worth the drive over. DUMP this JERK. Dump him. Now. And if you actually do want a FWB or an FB, go get one, you can pretty much swing a dead cat at hit a guy who just wants sex...anywhere...online...anywhere. Go get 'im. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 19, 2020 Author Share Posted June 19, 2020 14 hours ago, snowboy91 said: I wouldn't call it a false promise necessarily. A couple of things - sex drives fluctuate, and your understanding of what this is might be a little different to his. He for whatever reason isn't feeling horny for you at the moment, and doesn't feel up to hanging out. Others have said you're not in a relationship so you don't need an explanation, but I still think the F in FWB still needs to apply and he should at least have been more elaborate than just "nah". You certainly haven't done anything wrong, but I get the feeling this is on shakier ground now. Depending on how long you've been in this arrangement and what it's like, either you or him may have started to catch feelings, or realised it's not going to work any more. Or he may have built up a perception that you want something more while he doesn't. Either way I'd check in to see how he's feeling about things. He could be catching feelings? How? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Bluesky00 said: He could be catching feelings? How? Stop it. Stop being so desperate. This person literally just wants to see your v.... and smack off to it rather than having to exert the energy to actually touch you, and he doesn't even want to see the rest of you - your face, anything - as if you are literally a triangle, not even a human being, and you are into him? Your going off on him for not having sex with you makes you sound like you can't even get some guy to do you. He knows you are desperate for the slightest word from him and will rush to his command. Deliver a close-up so he doesn't have to bother to talk to or look at you or anything. No, he doesn't have feelings for you. Dump. His. Presumptive. Unworthy. Ass. Edited June 19, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 9 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I sent him a few texts after that response last night and I went off at him asking why and told him he was a liar when he told me we were gonna have sex regularly and that he should at least have some decency to tell me Oh honey, no. Just bow out gracefully. You're making yourself look desperate here. Don't contact him anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 Yeah, that’s a little blunt, but he guess he didn’t want to hook up. Maybe he read something like “why can’t people just be honest/straight up” stuff I see propagated here all the time. xD Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 19, 2020 Author Share Posted June 19, 2020 8 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Stop it. Stop being so desperate. This person literally just wants to see your v.... and smack off to it rather than having to exert the energy to actually touch you, and he doesn't even want to see the rest of you - your face, anything - as if you are literally a triangle, not even a human being, and you are into him? Your going off on him for not having sex with you makes you sound like you can't even get some guy to do you. He knows you are desperate for the slightest word from him and will rush to his command. Deliver a close-up so he doesn't have to bother to talk to or look at you or anything. No, he doesn't have feelings for you. Dump. His. Presumptive. Unworthy. Ass. I don’t see what the big deal is sexting/sending those kinds of pictures to one another. Just ways to “spice things” up that’s all. Trying something new. Why do women say this all the time? The he doesn’t respect you spiel, etc, etc. Men are visual creatures they like pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 15 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I don’t understand the whole, men are in “control” when it comes to reaching out to women and when THEY want it but in the bedroom majority of them want the women to be in control of the sex, take lead. A guy I hooked up with last year told me that I could “put more work” into but the sex wasn’t bad. I also heard other guys it’s only bad sex with a woman doesn’t put any effort into in. I’m like wth? So, the rule is women should be coy/shy/reserved/don’t ever be masculine to a man-aka reaching out first but be masculine in the bedroom ? Makes no sense. I like to be in control when it comes to reaching out, but I like it when men are in control in the women. I’m submissive. I’m taking control by reaching out/isn’t that what men want? Controlling women? And I can take control in the bedroom, but since guys don’t like communicating with me what they want and ask me to be control I assume everything is good. There is nothing to understand. The mentality you describe is contradictory, illogical, and BS...yet people may still believe it. You don't want those guys anyway. If a guys "ego" is easily deflated by a woman reaching out, no wonder they may want you to do all the work in the bedroom....in that sense it makes sense. Their "ego" for want of a better word is defined by "control" (again for want of a better word) but it is hanging by a thread, so you reaching out to them is threatens their image of themselves, and in the bedroom where it is put up or shut up their ego is even at greater risk so they want you to take the lead so their ego is not put a risk. Not saying at all this is the explanation for every man that acts this way, but it is at least logically consistent.;,,,also that may be some peoples cup of tea, just not yours. Rest assured there are plenty of men who are not threatened by you reaching out, and even enjoy it, who are also more than happy to take the lead in bed. I'm not even sure what this "work" is, if it is going good both parties are workin' it. Does it mean some mad writhing like crazed cats? Does it mean oral? Does it mean on top? Seems very vague. I personally want a woman who is in control of her life and knows herself, not someone who wants to control how I live my life. As in the bedroom "control" can have all sorts of meanings , and to that it is each their own as well. I also personally don't try to extrapolate from the "control" in the bedroom to everyday life....granted I stay away from what I call the fringe. Edited June 19, 2020 by SumGuy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 3 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I don’t see what the big deal is sexting/sending those kinds of pictures to one another. Just ways to “spice things” up that’s all. Trying something new. Why do women say this all the time? The he doesn’t respect you spiel, etc, etc. Men are visual creatures they like pictures. I guess if you don't mind them being all over the internet then that is one thing. Also certain men, I'd dare say way too many, are going to judge you as being easily manipulated and easy and treat you accordingly...it is also bait and justification to the dangerous ones to abuse you. In short, too many men may think a woman who does this is a w**** who doesn't deserve respect, and in fact the opposite. Not saying it is morally wrong to do these things, but maybe not wise as it is not generally considered as innocent as you seem to think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I don’t see what the big deal is sexting/sending those kinds of pictures to one another. Just ways to “spice things” up that’s all. Trying something new. Why do women say this all the time? The he doesn’t respect you spiel, etc, etc. Men are visual creatures they like pictures. Because...like he can't get that on the internet? Women don't necessarily want to be wh*res...well, until it IS fun and spicy. Like when you're already seeing eachother. Let's be real. If you need to "spice things up" by looking at my crotch and we haven't even met yet, this association needs way more help than a picture or two. ETA: Oh, wrong thread, this is the "he can't be bothered even to get off his couch but he wants a pic just of my V, can't even be bothered to look at all of me, much less make an effort to see me" post. I thought I was on the other thread with Snapchat. Okay...in this case...what's wrong with it? Well, OP obviously has the feels, but her paramour doesn't even want to look at his face. He just wants to sit there on his couch binge-watching old Deadwood episodes with his hand down his pants. How is that a FB? AND she got her feelings hurt (obviously) to boot. Sorry. If I had a FB I'd expect to, well...F. And have him be at least mildly interested beyond a macro shot that could have come right out of a gynecology textbook. She has the feels. What he "feels" for her lasts 3-4 minutes and doesn't even involve him acknowleding her. Not a match. Edited June 19, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I don’t see what the big deal is sexting/sending those kinds of pictures to one another. Just ways to “spice things” up that’s all. Trying something new. Why do women say this all the time? The he doesn’t respect you spiel, etc, etc. Men are visual creatures they like pictures. Imo pics aren’t the problem... I send my bf neck down nudes and ask for his, it’s nbd but you’re really making yourself look really desperate by chasing this guy for sex when he rejected you::: Edited June 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 18 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: I don’t see what the big deal is sexting/sending those kinds of pictures to one another. Just ways to “spice things” up that’s all. Trying something new. Why do women say this all the time? The he doesn’t respect you spiel, etc, etc. Men are visual creatures they like pictures. Except this guy didn't even respond to the last one you sent. That isn't your cue to ask him for sex, and then lose you proverbial manure on him when he turns down your offer. You need to learn when to cut your losses and keep your self-respect, Blue. Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 On 6/19/2020 at 1:04 PM, Bluesky00 said: He could be catching feelings? How? All the things people have written and this is what you pick out. He’s not. He knows you have and he’s telling you he’s not interested. Please have more dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 20, 2020 Author Share Posted June 20, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Except this guy didn't even respond to the last one you sent. That isn't your cue to ask him for sex, and then lose you proverbial manure on him when he turns down your offer. You need to learn when to cut your losses and keep your self-respect, Blue. Come to think of it, I’m over reacting about why he I didn’t respond to the v picture. Usually he doesn’t “respond” to pictures anyway. Last time I told him I wanted to wear a sexy outfit for him and he wanted me to send him some pics which I did , he didn’t respond to those I know he saw them, then the next day he wanted me to send him a pic of my booty, he didn’t respond to those either. Even if he didn’t respond to pics, he still wanted more. And he did still reach out to me later on to hook up even though he didn’t respond to my pics. I’m just over analyzing his nah response. He probably doesn’t feel like it this week, and at this point he is in control and he will reach out when he wants to. And this isn’t the first time he’s said no actually, other times he’s said he was busy that night or that he couldn’t. Edited June 20, 2020 by Bluesky00 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 (edited) Oh dear. Given what you have just posted above....why on earth are you still talking to this guy? He's barely even interested and you jump every time he calls you to attention. He has no respect for you, Blue. You realize you're likely one of a few women he has sex with, yes? I guarantee you that he is looking somewhere else for sex first. Edited June 20, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 20, 2020 Author Share Posted June 20, 2020 4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Oh dear. Given what you have just posted above....why on earth are you still talking to this guy? He's barely even interested and you jump every time he calls you to attention. He has no respect for you, Blue. You realize you're likely one of a few women he has sex with, yes? I guarantee you that he is looking somewhere else for sex first. What is it with women talking about “respect?” This isn’t 1950 and it’s sure not a nun/convent forum. So what if I sent pictures of my V to him, he isn’t the first guy I’ve sent dirty pics to. It’s purely sexual. And I know there is probably other women he probably became interested in lately. I realize I can’t solely rely on him and he has been my only f buddy at the moment. Yes, I do need to find some other guy to fulfill my needs and I will find it. It is what it is. If he wants it he will contact me, if not then there are other boy toys out there for me to have sex with . Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 Nobody said sending dirty pictures or even having a FWB is bad. Those two things aren’t for me, personally but nobody here said don’t do it. the dignity you need to have is to stop chasing a man who doesn’t want you. A woman asking about dating a man ( not just having sex) and he doesn’t respond, doesn’t want to see her would get the same answer about having dignity. I hope that you’re some naive woman in her early twenties and that’s why you’re participating in this horrible display. You’d at least have an excuse as to why you’re making such bad decisions. Nobody here knows why he doesn’t want you. You seem to have all the answers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Bluesky00 said: What is it with women talking about “respect?” This isn’t 1950 and it’s sure not a nun/convent forum. So what if I sent pictures of my V to him, he isn’t the first guy I’ve sent dirty pics to. It’s purely sexual. And I know there is probably other women he probably became interested in lately. I realize I can’t solely rely on him and he has been my only f buddy at the moment. Yes, I do need to find some other guy to fulfill my needs and I will find it. It is what it is. If he wants it he will contact me, if not then there are other boy toys out there for me to have sex with . Then what is your question? What is the matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 On 6/18/2020 at 5:36 PM, Bluesky00 said: The last time That I saw him he was all lovely dovely with me. Sweetie, you are sending a man with no close ties intimate pictures of yourself; that's not liberation or love or friendship. Why on earth would you set up a very explicit sex arrangement then be worried by him not treating you as anything else? It could be any number of reasons, taking the pandemic seriously to he found someone else. People are saying be safe, not necessarily criticising you, we've all done crazy stuff one time or another. What do you need as @CaliforniaGirl says? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 That's a bummer, but it shouldn't be hard to find a better one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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