askarov Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Hi all some days ago me and my lover were fighted and after that i did everything to save this relationship now things goes ok but the problem is now i Realised that i am so needy and my mind keep tells me you cannot live without her. Now we start talking each other everything ok but i am not fulfilment and i feel fear of losing her. So what should i do what kind of exercises can help this situation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Find reasons to be happy yourself. Divest yourself of the mindset that you cannot live without her. Of course you can live without her. You did it for your whole life before you met her. You have to like yourself & like your life before you can be a quality partner in a relationship. Stop focusing on her & start finding things that you enjoy -- a hobby or a passion. Make yourself happy then it will be easier to be happy in the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 You have to understand that everybody will let you down at some point, even an amazing true love. So you have to be strong and happy on your own. Only when your happiness and strength come from within will you be in the right mindset for a truly loving relationship. This removes the burden on your partner of providing happiness and strength for you. No one can really do that. All they really do is fan your flames - the fire is within you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 What's the worst that could possibly happen if you lost her? You'd just be right back where you started before you met her, except now you'd have more wisdom and experience. It's fear and low self-esteem that drives neediness. You feel like you aren't as much without someone, and you've got to get over that and make yourself into someone you can self-admire on your own merits. There are a billion women out there! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author askarov Posted June 18, 2020 Author Share Posted June 18, 2020 5 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Find reasons to be happy yourself. Divest yourself of the mindset that you cannot live without her. Of course you can live without her. You did it for your whole life before you met her. You have to like yourself & like your life before you can be a quality partner in a relationship. Stop focusing on her & start finding things that you enjoy -- a hobby or a passion. Make yourself happy then it will be easier to be happy in the relationship. oh thanks man how can i make her love me more? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 You can't make anyone love you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, askarov said: oh thanks man how can i make her love me more? I am a woman. You can't control somebody else. All you can do is control yourself. If you are happy with yourself, somebody else's opinion about you won't matter as much. That said women like confident, self assured men who have interesting lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JolliX Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Figure out why you feel you need her, and I'm not talking about that you enjoy her company or like having her in your life. In my most recent relationship, I felt a need for my ex, and I am now figuring out that it was due to me not being happy where I was professionally (my job has no room for promotion or significant raise). She was very successful in her career, so a reason I felt I needed her was that she could provide me with a financial safety net should I ever need it and possible guidance on how to do better professionally. Now that I know this, I can improve that part of my life so that I can eventually be happy with it and not have that as an underlying reason for feeling like I need someone. This takes some digging, but I think it's worth the effort to figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
JolliX Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 On 6/18/2020 at 4:05 PM, d0nnivain said: That said women like confident, self assured men who have interesting lives. The confidence part is definitely true. Get to where you are confident and not only will others see you in a better light, but you will feel better yourself (and there is a difference between confidence and hubris). Link to post Share on other sites
JolliX Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 On 6/18/2020 at 2:29 PM, askarov said: oh thanks man how can i make her love me more? You're not going to make her love you more. She will either love you as much as you would hope or she won't. You can't change that, so make sure you are happy with yourself and your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts