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Why did my ex contact me


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We broke up in January and had an extremely hurtful, awful breakup and continued to argue for 3 months after. I wanted him back but he didn't want to make it work. We then went no contact, I messaged him just over a month ago to say I was sorry and that I hope he was okay, and we left it well.

Last night he unblocked me on all social media, added me on snapchat and sent me a message saying he was sorry for being rude the last time we spoke even though we'd left It nicely. We ended up speaking a little today, he said he missed talking to me and that he hasn't  been interested in anyone else. However, the chat turned into him talking a lot about sex and I wasn't interested, he ended up ending the convo. Is he just lonely because of lockdown and reaching out because he has nothing better to do? I do want to be friends like he said but in the future, but i'm not ready yet and I feel like I need to fully move on and have a few more months to myself before we have each other on social media. He had always been a compulsive liar which is why we broke up so I feel like he's just using me because of the current situation and hes lonely. Should I just forget this happened and carry on moving on because part of me is wondering if he truly misses me?

 

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11 minutes ago, brooks468 said:

We ended up speaking a little today, he said he missed talking to me and that he hasn't  been interested in anyone else. However, the chat turned into him talking a lot about sex and I wasn't interested, he ended up ending the convo.

He was taking your temperature to see if you were dtf.

You weren't, so he cut the conversation short. 

11 minutes ago, brooks468 said:

He had always been a compulsive liar which is why we broke up

then there's no reason to believe this:

11 minutes ago, brooks468 said:

he said he missed talking to me and that he hasn't  been interested in anyone else.

  No, what he missed was sex on demand from someone he didn't have to spend time getting to know. He leveraged your feelings for him and told you what he thought you wanted to hear to unlock the gate to sex.

11 minutes ago, brooks468 said:

Should I just forget this happened and carry on moving on because part of me is wondering if he truly misses me?

Unless he's gone through some intensive, continuing therapy for his lying, I'd leave him alone. There's no reason to be friends with a compulsive liar unless you like that kind of mess and drama.

Edited by kendahke
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1 hour ago, brooks468 said:

We broke up in January and had an extremely hurtful, awful breakup and continued to argue for 3 months after. I wanted him back but he didn't want to make it work. We then went no contact, I messaged him just over a month ago to say I was sorry and that I hope he was okay, and we left it well.

Last night he unblocked me on all social media, added me on snapchat and sent me a message saying he was sorry for being rude the last time we spoke even though we'd left It nicely. We ended up speaking a little today, he said he missed talking to me and that he hasn't  been interested in anyone else. However, the chat turned into him talking a lot about sex and I wasn't interested, he ended up ending the convo. Is he just lonely because of lockdown and reaching out because he has nothing better to do? I do want to be friends like he said but in the future, but i'm not ready yet and I feel like I need to fully move on and have a few more months to myself before we have each other on social media. He had always been a compulsive liar which is why we broke up so I feel like he's just using me because of the current situation and hes lonely. Should I just forget this happened and carry on moving on because part of me is wondering if he truly misses me?

 

I'd say he is only contacting you because he wants to have sex. Ergo when you refused sex, from where the conversation point was driven to by him, it ended. I do not believe he misses you; just misses the sex. If he is such a compulsive liar, you wouldn't know either way if he missed you or not. 

If you are bent on needing more time, then continue doing that. You do not need to talk to him or make decisions right now. Continue doing what you feel is best for you. If he missed you, he wouldn't stop texting simply because of no sex.

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If he's a compulsive liar I don't understand why you would even want to be friends with him.   

I do think that he's contacting you for easy sex with the EX.  You best disconnect on all platforms.  He's your past.  Leave him there. 

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ExpatInItaly
13 hours ago, brooks468 said:

Is he just lonely because of lockdown and reaching out because he has nothing better to do? 

Yes, this. He wanted sex and when he realized you didn't, he bailed. He didn't message you for any honorable reason. 

I'm sorry OP, but there is no sense in keeping this guy in your life. You two can't be friends; it will hurt you too much, and if he's a liar, well, you need to re-think what you value in a friend. Compulsive lying generally isn't something that factors into a healthy friendship. 

It's time for you to block him so you can truly move on. 

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