Wishing condolences to an ex friend

[rjc149]

A former friend's father passed away recently. 

This friend was a childhood/adolescence friend. I spent a lot of time at his house as a kid, with his father chaperoning a lot of the activities and fun. 

This friend and I grew apart in college as we became adults. He became more of a social justice warrior, and we openly argued over political viewpoints a lot. These weren't amicable, respectful debates. The further he delved into his convictions and the more it became his adult identity, the more arrogant and insufferable I felt he became. 

His father was much the same. As a kid, he was just a grown-up hosting his son's friends and playing baseball etc. As an adult, I saw that he largely set the example for what his son was to become. But I have fond memories of him nonetheless, and he featured prominently in my childhood. 

The last contact I had with this friend was at a wedding, where we clearly were not friends any more. We were distant acquaintances at a wedding who were slightly antagonistic toward each other. This was 6 years ago. 

I re-activated my Facebook just to check up on things the other week, and saw that his father died. 

Part of me wants to reach out to this former friend and wish him condolences. But I don't want to permanently re-activate my Facebook to correspond with him for this one purpose. And I don't have his contact info. I'm also just really not sure where we stand now. 

I also want to pay my respects to his father, when his memorial is held (funeral didn't take place because of covid).  

But another part of me simply wants to mourn his father's death on my own terms. Before the social media age, I would never have know he died, until maybe many years later. 

Thoughts?

[ShyViolet]

Wishing someone condolences is not an ongoing thing, it doesn't mean that you have to open up a dialogue with the person.  You can just send him one message, wishing him condolences, and that's it.  Since you don't even have his contact info, I'm assuming the only way you could send this message is through facebook messenger.  Why don't you just send the message, and that's it.  Then after he receives it, you can deactivate your facebook again.