Husband kept OW number

[Wiseman2]

What if he deletes the number but uses one of the plethora of other social media and messaging apps to stay connected to her?

Chasing this number on this app and interrogating him every time he's active on WhatsApp hasn't allayed your fears that they have or haven't ended thier affair.

What if it's not her he's talking to but someone else now? 

You seem to be playing whack a mole with your suspicions. You seem to think the deletion or retention of a particular number on a particular app, means their affair is or is not continuing.

What you don't know is who he's talking to and on which of a thousand other messaging platforms that may be on.

All you really know is when he's logging in to WhatsApp.

[Nats_16]

Lauren, I am sorry you are still going through this. You are going to literally send yourself into some mental breakdown if you haven’t already by doing this. I would suggest confronting him, telling him how you feel about him having her number and go from there. At the moment it’s all guess work and you need to hear his side to get a better judgement. If his side adds up then accept it, draw a line and move on, if on the other hand it doesn’t then you need to do what’s best for you and you’d babies, which I think is what scares you the most. The best and the hardest decisions are usually the same. Sending you hugs x

[VD01]

If you confronted him about it, the first time you found out and he still keep it then yes that's no good.

Because you are his wife, the first thing he would do or any MM would do after getting caught is to delete every way to contact the OW. It is normal to feel anxious after seeing her number.

I was an OW and seeing the MM text someone else and keep them still even after confronting him about it is already enough to make me lose my mind what more for you?

He may still be chatting with her using other apps, he may be using Skype to chat with her or any other others which doesn't need her phone number.

It is possible that he is keeping her number "just in case" she started messaging him again and when just when the situation is okay for him. 

Or he may be talk to someone else.... a new EAP

 

If I were you, I  will text the number and ask her if she is still talking to your husband (in a very calm and respectful way just in case she is not talking to him or will deny it) whether she denies it or not, let her know that you are having another baby.

"Sorry, I  was just wondering because I am currently pregnant and just wanted to be sure nothing is going on"

Edited December 18, 2020 by VD01

[Narie]

On 11/19/2020 at 4:41 AM, LaurenEliz said:

I do watch him. I check when he’s online, I know it’s not healthy but if I see he’s online and it’s not me he’s been speaking to I quiz him

Reading this reminds me of my situation with my husband. I noticed him being so active on his phone, looking so happy and when I looked in his eyes I just know that’s the eyes of someone in love.

I downloaded whatsapp and saw him there online A LOT. Even when I am around... I confronted him about it and he lied but he refused to show me his whatsapp contacts.

Eventually I fell into depression and obsession of spying on him. I kept my whatsapp open to see how many times he will be online. There was a time I even took notes of the timeline that he was online.

Eventually I also found out he made a Skype account just for her.

I left our house in hope that he will choose me. He will stop talking to her. Because he knows how much it’s driving me nuts but even after all of my begging, even after sending him countless messages on how hurt I am. He just kept on denying.

Me leaving him and doing NC countless if times just made then closer. If back then he will text me first thing in the morning, he ended up talking to her first before contacting me.

I just knew it’s over. We have a child so...it was difficult and I can understand that it will drive you nuts.

My only regret is not finding out about it early. But I think even if I did, the situation will still be the same.

Please do confront your husband about it. Tell him it’s driving you insane and it’s not healthy for you and the baby. Or better yet, save the woman’s number and talk to her. If your husband gets angry about it, then it’s over.

It’s a relationship where you will suffer and just waste your time.

Edited December 18, 2020 by Narie

[petee]

Lauren, you seem paralysed to act. Is it an option to get at the number and alter a couple of the digits, then add the real number as someone else then block it?

You don't seem to want to do the hard bit like confront, which is fine, but don't let a weak husband betray you in any fashion. You deserve better than that.