Realitysux Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 (edited) I'm sitting here on my deck just screaming at someone over text trying to make sense of it all. I couldn't figure out why so many people came into this and spoke to me under such scripts. I spent 5 years here and I felt naked. I didn't feel comfortable going to the gym or anything. I felt humiliated and I was obsessed with this man and they were connecting with me on his behalf. About an hour ago, it occurred to me that he wanted me to move on in my own mind as oppose to being rejected because rejection hurts. Can I really be mad if he didn't want to be with me and met someone who he did want to be with. He definitely shouldn't have hacked me but he did it so he could learn about me and therefore I would connect with someone he sent. He also became really mean so it would be easier for me to move on from him. This is more of a rant but other comments would be appreciated. I feel so tempted to screw him over or get back at him but I should accept it and forgive him. He is who he is and he wanted me to move on to someone else and felt like what he was asking was the best way to go about it. I can't imagine what it felt like for him to have my obsessive behavior directed at him. I wasn't thinking about how he felt at all. It's almost like I want him to suffer as much as I have. Edited June 22, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 Can you explain the nature of your 5 year relationship?? Did you two date for five years?? Live together for 5 years?? His friends were contacting you about him?? I'm really confused... Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 10 hours ago, Realitysux said: He also became really mean so it would be easier for me to move on from him. My ex husband did this too. A friend said to me after a while 'when someone is saying I don't care don't stick around to ask "how much?"...' Hope you feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, Realitysux said: It's almost like I want him to suffer as much as I have. Don't do this. It'll only hurt you. From what you write, he's past caring either way, and he's moved on. What you need to take from this is how to adjust your own people-picker so you don't fall into the same trap. Sounds like that relationship was very dysfunctional, so cut all ties. Make yourself a new reality :). Edited June 22, 2020 by Emilie Jolie Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted June 22, 2020 Author Share Posted June 22, 2020 (edited) I have the rest of this week off work which worked out well so I can pull myself together. I don't know what's more sick , the abuse and behavior that tears me down to the point I can't function or the support he offers to get back up. Either way, saved by the bell. I went a few years without any human contact before him and after. I was desperate for something love related. He could have prevented all of this but he didn't and he caused me too much pain then a simple rejection is worth. Edit: saved by the bell, bell Canada Edited June 22, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
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