Ldr with filipina girlfriend I am so lost.

[jaxloco]

Hi to everyone i am writing this post couse i am lost and i dont know what to do.

I meet this beautiful filipina girl online last year on chat site.We clicked almost instantly and we started to text each other daily.So i asked her what she is doing on that site she told me she saw group chat for depresed people.I was on the site also for chat but before i continue let me tell you why i was on that chat site.That was i dont know how to explain like someone told me go to that chat site stay couple days and you will meet her there.So i dont wana make you guys bored with that i will go straight to my problem.

First four and a half months we had so much fun together calling every day each other,texting, she was so clingy all that time flirty,playfull when we are together. we get to know each other during lockdown very well.Then a month ago when i called her on video call she told me something has changed on me.That something was i started to think on her everyday and i developed feeling toward her.Then she told me next day she is starting to work and she needs to fill reports.Then next day she didnt send me anything or called. I was worryied for her so i texted her.

From that day i felt like she is taking distance from me.at first i thought its couse of work couse she is teacher and she worked late in the evenings.

we still call and text every day each other.

So here is the real problem.Couple days ago i told her what are my intentions toward her and end goal.She told me we should cool off. but no cheating or texting other girls or men.

She also told me that she wants to be alone.She told me that couple times.Then next day when i called her i told her to plan with me trip for me to come to her and send time with her.

She told me i am not with you on that plan.Then i told her again my intentions and end goal. When i told her that i want her to meet me at airport she was all excited.when i told her i am planing to marry her in future she was excited and happy she even asked me where we are gona live.then when i told her i am planing next year to come in 5 month she sudenly started to cry and telling me i am not worthy of you.I should drag you in this i thought it wont get serious.I cant return feelings to you in fully.I said to her dont cry and told her i see in her eyes what she is feeling for me and that she is worthy of me couse i am completly hers.When i asked her does she misses me everyday she said yes.does she thinks of me everyday she said yes.does she wants to meet me in person she said yes.

then she said to me she wants to meet me in person but she dosent wants romantic way.I know she have strong romantic feelings to me but i dont know what is going on with her.did i told her my intentions to early?she told me all i can offer is friendship.i asked her so you can only offer friendship for now? she said yes.

Thats why i am so confused what to do. I love her so much she is my soulmate.I dont wana lose her.

Did i said my intentions to early?

did i messed up? 

What should i do ? Continue like friends and ask her later to be in romantic relationship with me?

Or should i end it?

I see it on her she dosent want it when i called her yesterday i saw her behavior changed she went back to that flirty playfull girs from the start.

I cant look at her and not being able to tell her i love her.

Should i start to ignore her or continue like nothing happened? 

 

Thats my problem i wanted to ask.

[Realitysux]

1 hour ago, jaxloco said:

Hi to everyone i am writing this post couse i am lost and i dont know what to do.

I meet this beautiful filipina girl online last year on chat site.We clicked almost instantly and we started to text each other daily.So i asked her what she is doing on that site she told me she saw group chat for depresed people.I was on the site also for chat but before i continue let me tell you why i was on that chat site.That was i dont know how to explain like someone told me go to that chat site stay couple days and you will meet her there.So i dont wana make you guys bored with that i will go straight to my problem.

First four and a half months we had so much fun together calling every day each other,texting, she was so clingy all that time flirty,playfull when we are together. we get to know each other during lockdown very well.Then a month ago when i called her on video call she told me something has changed on me.That something was i started to think on her everyday and i developed feeling toward her.Then she told me next day she is starting to work and she needs to fill reports.Then next day she didnt send me anything or called. I was worryied for her so i texted her.

From that day i felt like she is taking distance from me.at first i thought its couse of work couse she is teacher and she worked late in the evenings.

we still call and text every day each other.

So here is the real problem.Couple days ago i told her what are my intentions toward her and end goal.She told me we should cool off. but no cheating or texting other girls or men.

She also told me that she wants to be alone.She told me that couple times.Then next day when i called her i told her to plan with me trip for me to come to her and send time with her.

She told me i am not with you on that plan.Then i told her again my intentions and end goal. When i told her that i want her to meet me at airport she was all excited.when i told her i am planing to marry her in future she was excited and happy she even asked me where we are gona live.then when i told her i am planing next year to come in 5 month she sudenly started to cry and telling me i am not worthy of you.I should drag you in this i thought it wont get serious.I cant return feelings to you in fully.I said to her dont cry and told her i see in her eyes what she is feeling for me and that she is worthy of me couse i am completly hers.When i asked her does she misses me everyday she said yes.does she thinks of me everyday she said yes.does she wants to meet me in person she said yes.

then she said to me she wants to meet me in person but she dosent wants romantic way.I know she have strong romantic feelings to me but i dont know what is going on with her.did i told her my intentions to early?she told me all i can offer is friendship.i asked her so you can only offer friendship for now? she said yes.

Thats why i am so confused what to do. I love her so much she is my soulmate.I dont wana lose her.

Did i said my intentions to early?

did i messed up? 

What should i do ? Continue like friends and ask her later to be in romantic relationship with me?

Or should i end it?

I see it on her she dosent want it when i called her yesterday i saw her behavior changed she went back to that flirty playfull girs from the start.

I cant look at her and not being able to tell her i love her.

Should i start to ignore her or continue like nothing happened? 

 

Thats my problem i wanted to ask.

Ignore and continue like nothing happened are the same things, are they not? I avoided a face to face with a man I was really attracted to but only because he told me to move on. Typically when a man tells you to move on, you move on! Were you direct and clear on your intention? You shouldn't have made any plans but to hang out and let things happen more naturally. 

[Realitysux]

If you are still hanging on after all of that then she doesn't know what she is missing and you are definitely a keeper! 

[Foxhall]

Id imagine she has a few men vying for her affections,

unfortunately for you shes chosen some other dude to be her future husband.

shes letting you down gently I suppose or keeping you as a back up option ,

better luck next time

 

 

[jaxloco]

18 hours ago, Realitysux said:

Ignore and continue like nothing happened are the same things, are they not? I avoided a face to face with a man I was really attracted to but only because he told me to move on. Typically when a man tells you to move on, you move on! Were you direct and clear on your intention? You shouldn't have made any plans but to hang out and let things happen more naturally. 

I was direct and clear with my intentions.She knows what i feel toward her and i couldnt hide it anymore.Maybe i scared her when i said all that to her.

But i dont understand why she is encouraging me to keep going same if she is not ready to start romantic relationship.She was the one showing me attention first four and a half months and showing her affection toward me.

[jaxloco]

19 hours ago, Foxhall said:

Id imagine she has a few men vying for her affections,

unfortunately for you shes chosen some other dude to be her future husband.

shes letting you down gently I suppose or keeping you as a back up option ,

better luck next time

 

 

I dont think i am backup  option couse i would notice that.She is showing me her day everyday.

Thanks for opinion.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think she’s met someone else. She isn’t sure where that’s going yet, so she keeps you vaguely on the hook. There’s a reason she's putting you in the Friend Zone. 

You don’t know this woman, OP. You only know what she chooses to tell and show you, but unless and until you spend time together in person, you have no way to really verify what she’s really like. Telling her you want to marry her is way too much when you have no idea how or if you’d get along in person. 

In the future, don't get too wrapped up in the fantasy before you spend any time together offline. It creates too much false intimacy and unrealistic expectations. 

[elaine567]

On 6/22/2020 at 9:52 PM, jaxloco said:

then she said to me she wants to meet me in person but she dosent wants romantic way.I know she have strong romantic feelings to me but i dont know what is going on with her.did i told her my intentions to early?she told me all i can offer is friendship.i asked her so you can only offer friendship for now? she said yes

I am afraid she has friendzoned you.
You are projecting how you feel about her onto her.
She likes you only as a friend.

[preraph]

She is not interested in your romantically, only as a friend.  You can't make her want you that way either.  

[Interstellar]

Has she seen your picture? you’re not her type. She doesn’t like you.

 

[jaxloco]

On 6/23/2020 at 10:49 PM, ExpatInItaly said:

I think she’s met someone else. She isn’t sure where that’s going yet, so she keeps you vaguely on the hook. There’s a reason she's putting you in the Friend Zone. 

You don’t know this woman, OP. You only know what she chooses to tell and show you, but unless and until you spend time together in person, you have no way to really verify what she’s really like. Telling her you want to marry her is way too much when you have no idea how or if you’d get along in person. 

In the future, don't get too wrapped up in the fantasy before you spend any time together offline. It creates too much false intimacy and unrealistic expectations. 

Thanks for opinion.

 

[jaxloco]

On 6/23/2020 at 11:31 PM, elaine567 said:

I am afraid she has friendzoned you.
You are projecting how you feel about her onto her.
She likes you only as a friend.

Thanks for opinion.

 

[jaxloco]

On 6/24/2020 at 12:42 AM, preraph said:

She is not interested in your romantically, only as a friend.  You can't make her want you that way either.  

Thanks for opinion.

 

[jaxloco]

18 hours ago, Interstellar said:

Has she seen your picture? you’re not her type. She doesn’t like you.

 

Thanks for opinion.

She is seeing me for the past 6 months on video call every day.

[chillii]

 

My very first thought was didn't you ask her why she can't be romantically with you ?

lf your still talking then just ask her , and if she's honest then there's your answer to it all.

[salparadise]

She craves the attention and adoration, but it's a one-way deal. She's keeping her options open or has someone else on the string already. You're pissing into the wind. Tell her thanks but no thanks, as painful as it must be. When they give you the "just friends" crap, the only reasonable thing to do is cut your losses and try to preserve some dignity.  

[elaine567]

She was on a chat site for depressed people, I guess to meet new friends and get support from people who understood.
She met you there and loved the attention, BUT there was never any romantic attraction.
She was clingy not because she fancied you or saw you as a bf but because she was in a place where she needed human attention.
Depression can be a very lonely place. Some women also love having platonic male friends.
How do I know that she did not see you as  a bf?
Because the minute you told her your intentions she got distant, cooled off and told you she only saw you as a friend.
She would be very happy for you to come visit her but only as a friend.
You need to listen to her.