HaloSchism Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Soo.. I have this quite different/unique/weird/odd fantasy, idea, or whatever you want to call it... I would like to "setup" my girlfriend to have sex with another person, but I want it to be her idea... basically have her cheat on me even though I'm ok with and her not aware of this. How do I go about such a thing? I like the idea of her being with another guy.. and I also want to see if she'd "cheat" on me. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Try a local swinger's club. Where are you? Link to post Share on other sites
SilentPrayer Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Wowzers~ Now that is dareing...I do say~ I think it's kinda kewl in a way. Just talk to her about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HaloSchism Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Near Houston, Tx. What I'd really like is to like test her... by having/paying someone to try to bed her... she doesn't go to bars and stuff like that... in fact she never goes anywhere without me, other than work... so she never has the ability to really be hit on... and I'm curious as to how she'd react.. plus the idea of her "cheating" with another guy is well.. interesting to me Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 You could always contact the Maury Povich show, and he could set up a "sexy decoy". Seriously, though. The best fantasies are shared ones. Yours is one-sided, and is entirely at her expense. You are setting yourself up for deception and hurt. What if she does cheat? She will go through unneccesary guilt and pain not knowing that it is "ok" to do. What if she develops feelings for who she cheats with (if she even does). How will you feel if your fantasy becomes a real struggle with her feelings for you? She will feel used, manipulated and violated if she finds out that you set it up, and the OM was in on it and that will not exactly shore up her love for you. It might not fall into the realm of exactly what you had in mind, but it would be a lot less harmful in the long run if you simply told her your fantasy and see if she would be interested in playing something like that out. If she isn't, then understand that your fantasy will have to remain just that: fantasy. It doesn't work if only one partner is into it. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 To each their own and I'm not knocking what you want to do, but just be prepared for a trouble to brew in your relationship. There will be damage done and might be something you don't notice in the beginning , but it will be there. If you feel your relationship is worth the risk then best of luck to you. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author HaloSchism Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 Well.. while I do like the idea of her with another man.. the "relationship problems" were actually my first worry... See she absolutely loves being around me and with me, which I love.. but if I'm not there... she becomes lonely very easily... and then sometimes suspects that I'm flirting with other girls.. while I try my best to coax her and tell her I wouldn't ever cheat on her. I worry that if the opportunity presented itself that she WOULD cheat on me.. yes I get off to the thought of it.. but relationship-wise.. that would be horrible. Well I'd like to 'test' her before we get married... to make sure she wouldn't just find someone else incase I wasn't by her side 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Hello, The way you explain now makes sense to me. There are red flags that you say she gets immediately insecure and lonely and believes you are cheating with someone else. It seems to be quite common that a person who is cheating always suspects their partner is doing the same thing without cause. This is a huge red flag. The fact that you are thinking of marrying her is an important step and apparently you do feel she would cheat on you given the chance to do so. In this context I could see how it could make sense to see if she really would cheat on you immediately. If this is the case then you surely would not want to marry this type of person. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HaloSchism Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 Yea.. that's why I want to test her and find out NOW... Sooo.. any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Something you may want to consider about that 'test' you have in mind. Even if she passes it now, there is no guarantee that she will pass it again later. The very idea that you want to 'test' her without her knowledge suggests that you have no trouble being deceptive with her. Her potential cheating is bad, but so is the fact that you would go so far as to deceive your wife to satisfy your fears. That's equally bad. Instead of deceptive tricks, maybe you and she could go to premarital counseling and you could bring up your fears and the two of you could really talk about it and find out where this fear comes from and how to cope with it in a real way and learn to unravel it. You will want to get to the bottom of why you feel a need to 'test' your relationship, and you can also get to the bottom of what it is that makes you think she will cheat on you. Then, you are both having an open and honest dialogue. Your marriage will be built on openness and trust - and not underhanded 'tests'. Otherwise, you'll be living 'test to test' and devoting way too much time to that when you could be focusing your efforts on enjoying a happy marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 I have to agree with Lucrezia Borgia !! That is very deceptive and wrong !!You are setting her up and whose to say she will take the bait what if she don't does that mean you will marry her!!!How does that tell you whether she will or won't .. Whose to say she won't do it later on ... You can never know if a person will cheat or not!!!Trust me i thought h wouldn't and he did and i never would have thought it.. Maybe you should hold off and get to know her better before you take the big plunge !!! I think that is wrong with you wanting to set her up and make her look like it is her idea.. If you want to do this for a fantasy then you need to tell her and suggest it to her and not making it look like she wants it tell her you want this and see her reaction. i think you know she won't do this and that is why you want to manipulate her into doing it !!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 You don't make sense to me .. Why would you want to put someone through that !!! Sounds to me you are trying to find a excuse for u not to marry !! What if she does this will you still marry her? So are you going to watch while she do it from the closet ..How will this help you if anything this will make you doubt you and not trust her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HaloSchism Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 Woah Woah Woah now... As far as setting her up goes.. all I was thinking was to have some guy hit on her at like a bar or something and see what she does... that kinda stuff happens in real life... so I don't see the horribleness of that. Lol.. no I don't intend to be in any closets... I'm just curious as to how she acts... and I love her more than anything in the world.. and even if she did cheat I'd probably stay with her because I love her just that much... but I know she's had bf's cheat on her in the past.. she has pretty bad self-esteem, but she carries herself like she's a badass... and yet she needs me all the time... plus my dad always told me to be careful of the girls that "need you 24/7 because when you're not there.. the milkman will be." I guess I'm just worried is all... I tested her once when we first got together and I was out at college... I pretended to be someone else on an instant messenger.. and "we" did a lot of stuff there and were supposed to meet up until I confronted her about it... she said that she harbored no feelings for this person.. it was just fun for her to screw with his head and make him think she was actually doing the things she claimed she did.. and she said she would never in a million years have met him.. but I'll never know because I confronted her two days before they were supposed to meet. I dunno.. I'm just trying to figure all of this out for myself still... Link to post Share on other sites
Hunny Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 If she's had bf's cheat on her in the past and she's insecure why would you go behind her back to do something like that to her. Your betraying her spells trouble and she'd be hurt if she found out what you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 First of all I wanna start by asking, How old are you? How old is your girlfriend? How long have you guys been together? Either of you cheat on eachother before? Ok here's my little story which is similar to yours. My girlfriend and I are both 19 years old and have been together since we were 15 (4 years) and she lost her virginity to me also when we she was 15. In spring 2003 after we had been together for 1 year I brought up the idea to her of sleeping with other guys. She got very akward and said No, why would she, and she said if I really wanted her to sleep with other guys it would take her a really long time and think about it. I brought up the idea once in a while and she saw how it turned me on. She wanted to get it over with and just sleep with another guy once to shut me up and never bring it up again, so she set up a couple of meetings to go out with guys but never did anything cuz she got scared and didnt really want to. she just did it to have me happy. So I told her if she was gonna do it, do it for her pleasure not just for me, I never brought it up again. So later on in fall of 2004 she noticed that I was going to the hotwives forum and reading stuff on the internetcollege about hotwives so she sat down with me and asked me to read what that was since we didnt know about the term "hotwife" so after sitting in my lap quietly listening to me read both sites to her she got interested and learned how common this fantasy was and how many hotwives there were so she herself said that she would like to give it a try now that she learned a bit more about the lifestyle and always came to me when I was reading it and asked me to read the stories people posted, this became a normal thing everyday. Fast forward to summer 2005, she met a guy through our girl friend and she started taklking to him on the phone, she really liked him so she began hanging out with him alone with out me. She went out on a date or 2, got a flower and walked around the park holding hands, she tried sleeping with him but he was too shy,the farthest she got with him was heavy long kissing in my car. She stopped talking to him cuz he got a g/f recently. Now she's been talking to this guy that works near her and they turned into good friends overtime, they were texting eachother like crazy and on the phone all the time. After she got to know him she spent the night at his house about 3 times already and 2 of those times she did things with him, the 2nd night they were making out and the 3rd time she had sex with him, making her officially a hotwife since it was her first time with another man other me. Now that she got rid of the fear of sleeping with someone other than me, she's more comfortable to get other guys to sleep with, which is what she's doing right now. Looking for different guys and I dont mind. We chose this lifestyle together and plan to keep living it out as we are both comfortable with her doing this. If you want more advice or help on talking to her and convicing her to do this let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 So your are ok with her sleeping with other guys !!! Have you lost your mind? I wouldn't be ok with this at all .. You are still young so maybe after you grow up a little you will see that it is wrong what you are doing !! Be careful she might not want u anymore she might think he's better than you!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 So your are ok with her sleeping with other guys !!! Have you lost your mind? I wouldn't be ok with this at all .. You are still young so maybe after you grow up a little you will see that it is wrong what you are doing !! Be careful she might not want u anymore she might think he's better than you!! Good luck We're both aware of that and we have lots of communication along with a solid relationship of 4 years. She always tells me what she does with the other guys and doesnt hide things. Perhaps you can google "hotwife" and look for the internetcollege, looks like you dont know about hotwifing and can read up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I hope you are comfortable with the possibility of contracting AIDS or some other VD in your pursuit of this fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 We're both aware of that and we have lots of communication along with a solid relationship of 4 years. She always tells me what she does with the other guys and doesnt hide things. Perhaps you can google "hotwife" and look for the internetcollege, looks like you dont know about hotwifing and can read up a bit. I don't care to look that up !! I am married and don't need to sleep with other men sorry not my thing !! I am married i took vows and i don't take them lightly!! You need to be worried about all the dieases you can get epescially Aids and you can die form it so go ahead and let her do this but you are risking her life and to me that isn't love !! If you love someone you wouldn't want them to be with others to me that is more like swinging and im not into sharing my man with noone !!! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I don't care to look that up !! I am married and don't need to sleep with other men sorry not my thing !! I am married i took vows and i don't take them lightly!! You need to be worried about all the dieases you can get epescially Aids and you can die form it so go ahead and let her do this but you are risking her life and to me that isn't love !! If you love someone you wouldn't want them to be with others to me that is more like swinging and im not into sharing my man with noone !!! You're debating this with a 19-year old. How many 19-year olds have any real concept of *love*? Think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Your right sorry he just pissed me off!! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Your right sorry he just pissed me off!! I totally understand. Sometimes stupidity really pisses me off too but I have to remind myself that they are gonna do what they want to do regardless of what I or anyone else may say. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I totally understand. Sometimes stupidity really pisses me off too but I have to remind myself that they are gonna do what they want to do regardless of what I or anyone else may say. I know it amazes me to know that when we are old these are the people that will be running our world and that to me makes me sad hate to see how it is then hopefully i won't be alive to see it!!! I guess it is how they are raised Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I hope you are comfortable with the possibility of contracting AIDS or some other VD in your pursuit of this fantasy. Ugh lol, we are aware of ALL diseases (STDs) and infections(STIs) that can be obtained through multiple partners. As I said we have spent MANY hours talking about this and ways to keep safe. We go to a teen community clinic where you can tested free of charge and they give you condoms,birth control.advice or whatever you need, they are helping prevent unwanted teen pregnancy. So my g/f gets tested ofter there and we both agreed that before having sex with more guys they must first get tested, if they dont want to, Fine they dont get her in bed. Simple as that. And just so you know, you contract AIDS, first come HIV then it develops into AIDS. I appreciate the concern but IMO we have planned this out carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I know it amazes me to know that when we are old these are the people that will be running our world and that to me makes me sad hate to see how it is then hopefully i won't be alive to see it!!! I guess it is how they are raised Gets worse with each passing generation. Link to post Share on other sites
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