BearBeans Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 Hey there, I'm just going to cut to the chase. There is no one to talk to about our issue so I joined Loveshack to learn how you have or are currently dealing with this. Both sides welcome. My partner and I have been together for five years. We live together but I'm buying a house of my own. Im 42 and he's 45. We haven't had any issues with sexual chemistry and we are best friends. He takes Viagra for ED. That's completely fine with me 😊👍. January I noticed sexual signs that his body was changing. We slowed down on having sex from 1 or 2 times a week to 1 or 2 times a month. I enjoy sex with him and my sex drive is still high. A couple weeks ago my partner said he doesn't have a sex drive anymore. I encouraged him to spice things up to things he likes (porn). A few days later he said he tried to watch porn and he had no desire for that either. He has an appointment with his urologist next week to get his testosterone levels checked. He said that it's depressing for him. I'm being supportive and understanding with him. In the meantime I tried to talk to him about a compromise of intimacy and he doesn't want me to talk about it. That's why I'm here because I don't know what to do with my sex drive. I don't think talking to a therapist will help. I need advice from people who are in a sexless relationship and how you cope with your remaining amount of sex drive. Right now I am in mourning. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 (edited) Don't mourn. He's doing the right thing: finding out if something physical is going on. That's a really positive step! The fact is he's not turned on at all, not even by porn, so something is going on...physical or mental. He's ruling out the former so if nothing is organically happening then perhaps he wants to look into therapy? It isn't all over. Just see what the doctor says, then go from there. Edited June 24, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl If, not of. Link to post Share on other sites
SaddestGuy907 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 Guys who use sex pills end up having such issues. You gave him an advice to watch porn to help him, I think you should also watch it and help yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Slightly similar situation here (late 20s, mismatched sex drive but no pills needed, I'm the high drive partner). One reason to be optimistic is he's seeing this issue as important enough to go to a doctor about it. He may be feeling embarrassment, depressed, etc but you being supportive is as much as you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 (edited) losing the mojo usually goes with losing interest or out of love and 5 yrs is pretty good timing for that too for a lot of people. Incidentally , have you changed , put on weight, stopped looking after yourself, settled in too much . Most women conveniently overlook that factor too, not all but a lot, not sayin you have you might be better than ever , but it is one of the biggest things after a few yrs. Mind you , even if not you can still just gt sick of each other which he won't want to tell . Or if he is genuinely still into it maybe yeah he is a bit run down lately or stressed ,. Edited June 27, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 maybe you just dont exite him anymore.🙄😅 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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