Moving away/asking for a commitment

[Cherry Myst]

My boyfriend of a year now, has decided to move an hour away from me. He'll be working away most of the time, and when he's not he'll be home* I don't have a vehicle yet, but I do plan on getting on in afew months.... He thinks we can just give it a try, and stay together... I need to know if he can last like this for a year** I need to know what our future holds~

 

How can I ask my boyfriend is he's ready for a commitment? We've only said "I love you" afew times early on in our relationship....

 

I don't want to push him away, before he moves away*

 

Help

[Tony T]

The fact that you're this uncomfortable about talking directly with your boyfriend about such a critical issue may indicate that he's not the one for you. People who love and care for each other feel very free to discuss in detail whatever issues confront them.

 

It is also a rather curious anomaly that you only expressed love verbally to each other early in the relationship. That usually comes later and continues in healthy relationships.

 

I seems some sort of committment does exist in this rather odd duo. He did say he would try to make it work.

 

I think you ought to sit down with him and have a good, long chat about your relationship and find out exactly where you stand. You should have done this a long time ago.

 

You will never be able to have a good relationship with this man if you are too afraid to talk to him. Get together and ask him every question you want answered. If you feel it's time for a formal committment, bring that up and let him know you want that.

 

If you want to stay with this guy, you better learn to talk to him and have lots more discussions than you do now. Also, if this is a for real relationship, I think it would be nice if the two of you told each other of your love or caring a little bit more often...or at least expressed it in some meaningful way so there was no guessing.

[sparkle]

I agree with Tony about this communication problem.

 

You two have been going out for a year, yet you still feel too uncomfortable asking him about this?

 

I usually find out where I stand in a relationship (as far as commitment, and the future), within the first few months of a relationship. Why would I wait until a year has passed by and THEN ask him, only to find out he may never want to be committed to me., and he just wants to have fun. That's just a waste of my time and energy.

 

I'm not sure how strong your relationship is, it sounds pretty weak. You should be able to discuss these things ANYTIME you want to. Remember, it takes TWO people to keep a relationship going. If you ever want a relationship to work out, YOU have to put in your full effort too. You can't just sit back and let him decide on everything. You have to be able to discuss any problems that arise. You have to be able to discuss how you feel, what you want, and what you don't want.

 

It's been over a year now, and you still feel scared that you will push him away. Sounds like this relationship isn't that great after all, and you're better off without him.

 

Why would you want to spend any more of your time with someone you can't even talk to and be open with, without worrying about what he'll think????????