IsaF1 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 Hi, I (18 f) have been dating my boyfriend ( 22 m) for about five months. I have always been a little insecure because I had never had sex before and he had but now more insecurities have arisen because when we were talking about our past relationships he told me that he hadn’t liked anybody since he left his last ex-girlfriend until he met me but I know for a fact that he did. I know that it doesn’t really matter because we didn’t know each other then, but if he is lying to me about this, what else could he be lying about? It makes me nervous because I asked hil if he liked her and he came up with a very s***ty excuse but I have been shown some conversations where you can clearly see he liked her. It makes me wonder if he still does. I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid it will ruin our relationship because I feel that he cares about me I just don’t know why is he lying to me. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 Face it people lie all the time usually to avoid personal and emotional discomfort. Unfortunately this isn't going to go away. For you, It's a crack in the foundation of your relationship. I have to agree with you that there is something here he doesn't want to talk about. It could latent feelings as you suspect but it also could be an embarrassing incident he had with the young lady. You could force him to confess. I may or may not damage the nascent relationship you attempting to build. I guess it all depends on how important this is to you. I suggest you watch and wait. If he is false you will discover it by keeping your eyes and ears open and mouth shut. Don't set traps for him but don't ignore inconsistent details. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 You have to stop comparting yourself to others or you will make yourself nuts. You know he is not a virgin, although you are. Have him get tested for STDs. At that point, you know everything you need to know about his past. Stop asking. More info will only make you nuttier. You also can't know what his feelings were. He may have dated between his last GF & you but since you are the one he's in a relationship with, trying believing him that he didn't like the interim girls, at least not enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 He said he didn't "like" anyone between breaking up with his last gf, and starting his relationship with you, but you think he did? That is the thing you're worried that he's lying about? This seems really silly, almost like middle school stuff. Stop being so insecure, unless there is a really good reason to be. And right now I'm not hearing a reason to be. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 34 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: He said he didn't "like" anyone between breaking up with his last gf, and starting his relationship with you, but you think he did? That is the thing you're worried that he's lying about? This seems really silly, almost like middle school stuff. Stop being so insecure, unless there is a really good reason to be. And right now I'm not hearing a reason to be. Well, she is only 18. He probably likes you MORE than he liked that girl so why mention her at all? Is he giving you other reasons not to trust him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 He may well have liked her. But now he's met you, he's forgotten all about that old crush because he thinks you're so great. The fact that he may have forgotten how he used to feel doesn't mean that he's lying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 Just now, basil67 said: The fact that he may have forgotten how he used to feel doesn't mean that he's lying. Great point! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 (edited) On 6/25/2020 at 5:30 AM, IsaF1 said: I have been shown some conversations where you can clearly see he liked her. How? Who showed them to you? It could very well have been him being single and shallow and saying what he needed to say to get something out of her because in fact, he really didn't like her the way you're making it out to be. Edited June 28, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 I get it, this is kinda all new for you. Guys are a little thick headed and don't really know how to put things into words and it all come out wrong. He likes you...isn't that all that matters? The reality is, no one, not even your future husband is going to be 100% truthful about every single detail of his past. In general, most people don't. The best thing to do is cut out talking about what happened in the past, because it's just dumb stuff, and enjoy the here and now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 10 minutes ago, smackie9 said: The reality is, no one, not even your future husband is going to be 100% truthful about every single detail of his past. 100% Agree... When talking to a man about his past, how can you tell if he is lying... his lips are moving. OMG! Every guy out there has lied about his past. For me, the best thing was to avoid the subject, altogether. If backed into a corner, I would give half answers or make jokes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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