cornelia_street Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 So I just wanted to share the story with someone other than my girls i knand maybe hear some advice.There is this boy I have been into for 10 years now, I've had other relationships but somehow he's always on the back of my mind,(we are both 24 ) and we never have had real relationship,only flirty jokes,gone out a couple times by ourselves,share common circle of friends,but always we both have known there is smth...and we only have hooked up once, due to his behaviour afterwards nothing happened and since then everytime we drink together there is tension, flirt and a little bit of touching but nothing.. when we are sober also.I have always sensed he is the one for me but almost everytime it's me who makes the effort to be more than friends and he never makes the move to go through with it for real which I know, doesn't speak good of him as a man. Now I have a boyfriend with whom everything is great,half an year now and I really see a future with him, rumor in town has it he has a girlfriend too, even though I'm not completely sure, we don't speak about it ...but last Saturday on a night out with the gang , after we drank he came on to me,we just danced in a sexual way,but nothing more happened...and afterwards again nothing, didn't speak about it.still this night has been in my head for 3 days now and i can't get the memory of his hands out of my system... I don't want to make a move when we are sober again because as i said , it's almost always me who has done it (but everytime we drink it's him who comes on to me) and i know i have a guy by my side but I've started to wonder...so do you think that its worth to try again and risk my relationship or should i just leave this situation as it is,like just a memory i return to from time to time without consequences and also keep things friendly ? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 I think you are still nursing a childish crush on a guy who doesn't care about you. Unrequited "love" at its finest. Given the fact that you run in the same circles & have hooked up in the past, if this guy wanted you he would have done something about it by now. He knows if he crooks his finger you will fall into his bed, no questions asked. He does not view you as valuable because it's too easy. Read a pop psychology book called He's Just Not That Into You. Do not want the movie by the same name; it doesn't spell out the hard truths you need to face. I think you need to be more respectful of your BF or break up with him.. He deserves a GF who wants to be with him, not somebody who is settling for him because she can't have the guy she wants. If your BF found out you were sexy dancing with this other guy & contemplating breaking up to chase this guy who doesn't want you, how do you think your BF would feel? Like crap. If the shoe was on the other foot, you'd be hurt by your BF pining for some other girl. Have a little compassion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 It's clear this guy is not that interested in you. You say that you hooked up once, but "nothing happened due to his behavior afterward." You say it's always you who makes the effort to connect with him, and it's never him making an effort. This pretty much says it all. He's just not that into you. How long do you want to waste your energy chasing someone who isn't interested? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 (edited) He only gets a little physical with you with some liquid courage, so to me there's a good chance it might be a case of he doesn't think he's good enough for you. Maybe because he has had you way up on a pedestal for all these years....you just never know. In those many drunken, let your guard down moments, why didn't you take the opportunity to say something or even actually do something? Edited July 1, 2020 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 On 6/25/2020 at 9:22 AM, cornelia_street said: so do you think that its worth to try again and risk my relationship If this was your boyfriend writing what you wrote to us, what would you want us to say to him? Yes--but do it in front of your boyfriend. He deserves to know the truth about your actual feelings for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 You really need to tell your boyfriend you're just not that into him, he deserves someone who's not working out whether it's worth cheating. Not because they might lose him but because the OM doesn't make the first move in the affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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