Woman says She Really Likes Me Would Date Me but Cant as a Close Friend Is My Ex

[MaximumProfessor]

Please can I have some input?
I own my own company ( I am 52) and one of my staff who has worked for me on and off for 20 years, has recently started working for me again. We nearly paired off years ago , she wanted to,but as I had a little girl with my ex ( her close friend for 20 years), I stayed with my ex and child. fast forward 20 years and this lady is back age 46 HB9, stunning really.All the men are after her. We have been working together and really seems to get on. She is single with 3 children but owns 2 houses, so is not looking for a man with money ( I think).

She has talked VERY sexual to me and flirts and touches me on the arm etc, doesn't mind me touching her and we have a real laugh.We seem to finish each others sentences and it really seems like we are so together. We like so many same things. I was so confident, I asked her out on a date 2 weeks ago. She looked really pleased and said she really really liked me and would date me instantly. BUT she would have to think about it as her close friend ( my ex) would go mental and fall out with her.

I said we split 6 years ago and surely enough time had passed? And we cant be blackmailed by my Ex.She said womens code says you cant date friends Ex's. She said she would ask some of her friends and her mum for advice and let me know the day after.

She has worked with me for 6 days since and not mentioned anything... Even though she looked so keen on dating. She worked last night and was bubbly, laughing at my jokes and letting me touch her arm etc and touching me a little. But again said nothing. Does this mean she is interested or not? I seem to have this sure thing but she just has not given me her answer. If she really wanted to date, surely she would have said this week, OK?

Do I ask again for a date? Or am I been weak in asking again? Surely if she wanted to date, she would have said something by now. She has not said no, just not said anything so do I try again OR am I been had for a chump?
Is it wrong to still touch her, though she seems to like it? Any help is greatly appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

She doesn't want to date her boss & she feels some sense of obligation to your EX.  

You are barking up the wrong tree with this woman.  Leave her alone.  If you don't you could end up on the wrong side of a sexual harassment suit.  

[elaine567]

You may have split up with your ex 6 years ago, but you have a child together and this woman is close friends NOW with your ex.
I guess she knows all the gory details of your split.
ALSO you rejected her in favour of your ex 20 years ago, I doubt she has really forgotten that either.
AND you are her boss...
AND she said she would get back to you, which she hasn't.
No friend or mother would advise her to date you, so I think you can safely say it is a NO.

[MaximumProfessor]

Thank you for your input  Elaine.

[ShyViolet]

I think the bigger issue is that you are her boss and she is your employee.  She already told you she wasn't sure that she was comfortable dating you, and she would let you know if she wanted to.  Now she hasn't said anything and it's time for you to back off.

[primer]

Some people have morals where they would not date a friend's ex.

Some people don't.

 

[central]

5 minutes ago, primer said:

Some people have morals where they would not date a friend's ex.

Some people don't.

 

I don't think morals enter into it.  Loyalty to a friend, and protecting a valued friendship does, which is enlightened self-interest.  If the friendship isn't that important, it would be much less of a factor.  If the friend gave their okay to dating the ex, that would also be fine (although there is a little potential for issues to develop later).

[primer]

5 minutes ago, central said:

I don't think morals enter into it.  Loyalty to a friend, and protecting a valued friendship does, which is enlightened self-interest.  If the friendship isn't that important, it would be much less of a factor.  If the friend gave their okay to dating the ex, that would also be fine (although there is a little potential for issues to develop later).

Morals, ethics, loyalty . . . . whatever you want to call it.

 

[preraph]

She must just be a touchy person.  I knew a woman who was always touching the guys in her office on the arm and even on the chest and stomach, and yet as her best friend at the time, she hardly ever slept with a new man and waited for a longterm relationship.  I always thought it was kind of nuts to be that touchy and would only lead to trouble, but she was highly thought of.  

[Springsummer]

On 6/26/2020 at 12:05 PM, primer said:

Some people have morals where they would not date a friend's ex.

Some people don't.

 

 

Why it is a moral issue? They already splited.