uselessbob Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 (edited) I'm one of the quietest and shyest guys you'll ever come across in person (especially in front of girls) unless you've known me for a long time. I need a lot of time to "warm up" to a normal conversation if that makes sense. Here's an example. Last night, workmates went out to the pub. I didn't want to because one of them is a girl who knows I like her (I gently flirted with her on messenger a couple of times a couple of months ago, but she answered in short answers and I stopped trying.) I forced myself to go even though I didn't want to because I knew I'd be so uncomfortable. She actually called me asking if I was going and I said I would shortly. She sounded stressed and said "Can you come now please?", so I said yes. I literally didn't look at her and hardly said a word to her all night because I was so scared, but I did a bit talk to the others. She didn't talk to me either. I noticed, I couldn't stop shaking my right leg while she was sitting at the table. I stopped when walked away for a bit. Even when she isn't around, I don't talk much, but I don't think it's social anxiety because I'm not anxious, I just have nothing to say and my silence makes me feel uncomfortable if that makes sense. She probably either hates me now or thinks I'm heaps strange, but I'm pretty sure she'll never talk to me again unless she has to which is a shame because I really like her haha. So what am I suffering from? Edited June 26, 2020 by uselessbob Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 how old are you uselessbob? Link to post Share on other sites
Author uselessbob Posted June 26, 2020 Author Share Posted June 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, alphamale said: how old are you uselessbob? 24 I've always been quiet. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 you are suffering from youth and inexperience uselessbob. it's very common in young men. you've had little or no experience with girls. as you get older and get more experience you should do better with the opposite sex 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 You are not suffering from anything. Put down the devices. Learn to talk to people. Just say hi. Make small talk. The cliched subjects are cliches for a reason; they have a proven track record. It is hard to be brave & speak first but once you realize everybody is nervous & most will be grateful that you broke the ice, it will get easier. I always thought I was too shy to start a conversation but once I had to do it for work, it became so much easier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 Also, you said you have nothing to say. So sounds like you need to start watching the news and join the library and start reading up on a wide variety of subjects so you have some knowledge about things to talk about. Be sure to have some music interest and familiarity and some sports interest because those are common subjects people can talk about as a group. Link to post Share on other sites
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