Should I text my ex? Maybe try rekindling?

[Cmkatrina]

16 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I would also be very concerned that I'm the back-up option,  coming after whomever has turned him down in the past couple weeks.

This has crossed my mind too, he's always had good luck with girls/women so who knows. I'll let him speak first then bring it up.

[kendahke]

9 hours ago, Cmkatrina said:

Now we're texting again, I'm keeping it friendly but he's using pet names and sending me songs. I don't really know how I feel rn. We're meeting for coffee next week; I'm gonna hear him out before deciding whether to give us another try or never speak again. I want to see if he is genuinely sorry or if he just misses having an easy access, it'll come down to his sincerity and whether he promises to change his toxic behaviour.

That's a one way ticket back to square one with someone who you already know what they're capable of.

[Cmkatrina]

Yeah that's why I'm so apprehensive. Idek if I want to rekindle with him now, everytime I think about him I remember the way he treated me. He's so hot and cold, I don't have the energy to deal with it anymore. But yeah I'll see how it goes next week

[kendahke]

On 7/4/2020 at 4:26 PM, Cmkatrina said:

Idek if I want to rekindle with him now, everytime I think about him I remember the way he treated me. He's so hot and cold, I don't have the energy to deal with it anymore.

Has he gone through any kind of therapy to rectify his blowing hot/cold or treating you as he did? Has he done any kind of introspection of his behavior and had a revelation about it?

If not, then nothing has changed with how he's basically wired. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it doesn't correct core-root issues within a person.  Without addressing those issues, they just go dormant until that person comes back into their life and they pick up right where they left off---because they don't know any other behavior due to the fact that they've done nothing to correct the behavior.

He will say what he has to say to lull you back into a stupor and when you're well and in it, he's going to assume the only role he knows how to play: the one who blows hot and cold with you and treats you badly--because you allow it.

There's a reason why he's your ex: you'd be wise to remember that reason.

Edited July 6, 2020 by kendahke

[Cmkatrina]

18 hours ago, kendahke said:

Without addressing those issues, they just go dormant until that person comes back into their life and they pick up right where they left off---because they don't know any other behavior due to the fact that they've done nothing to correct the behavior.

He will say what he has to say to lull you back into a stupor and when you're well and in it, he's going to assume the only role he knows how to play: the one who blows hot and cold with you and treats you badly--because you allow it.

Yeah I think you're right. Never in my life am I allowing this kind of treatment again, the second I see any future partners acting like this I'm out.