max3732 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Finally after about a year I finally got a match on Bumble and its one that based on her profile looks pretty good. Everyone always says that you should have a clever opening message, but on Bumble after both swiping right the women send the 1st message and all she sent me was an emoji with a hand clapping. I don't really know what to do with this. Does that mean she's just saying she's happy with both swiped right? What I liked about her profile was that she looks really sweet, with a girl next door type look that I really like. Plus she's on the same political aisle, has a graduate degree, says she's looking for marriage, is looking for someone family oriented that likes pets, and she lists and has pictures of her doing a lot of the same hobbies that I enjoy. Here's what I was going to say... "Wow, Sally, looks like we've got a lot of the same hobbies/interests and are looking for something similar. How'd you get into "hobby name"? Do you get a chance to play often?" What do you think? Considering how few matches I've gotten on Bumble later I was to make this count. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 (edited) 30 minutes ago, max3732 said: "Wow, Sally, looks like we've got a lot of the same hobbies/interests and are looking for something similar. How'd you get into "hobby name"? Do you get a chance to play often?" I'm sorry max, but that's a yawn. Look, Bumble is where women take the initiative and she sends you an emoji? She most likely sent the same emoji to many men to see how many would jump. Ugh. Please don't be that guy. She sent you an emoji, up her game and send two wink emojis back. That's it. A bit of mystery will serve you well here. You need to learn some game max, especially with women like her (my sense of her). Have fun with it! See how high she will jump. She will respect you more for it, which will increase her interest. Had she sent something more substantial and engaging, my response would be different, but one emoji clapping hands? Good god. Edited June 27, 2020 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I'm sorry max, but that's a yawn. Look, Bumble is where women take the initiative and she sends you an emoji? She most likely sent the same emoji to many men to see how many would jump. Ugh. Please don't be that guy. She sent you an emoji, up her game and send two wink emojis back. That's it. A bit of mystery will serve you well here. You need to learn some game max, especially with women like her (my sense of her). See how high she will jump. She will respect you more for it, which will increase her interest. Had she sent something more substantial and engaging, my response would be different, but one emoji clapping hands? Good god. What about gifs? I didn't even realize they have a button with a bunch of gifs that you can search through. How about the 2 winks followed by a gif with someone waving hello? This whole emoji/gif thing is like a foreign language to me Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, max3732 said: What about gifs? I didn't even realize they have a button with a bunch of gifs that you can search through. How about the 2 winks followed by a gif with someone waving hello? This whole emoji/gif thing is like a foreign language to me Jmo but no cute gifs or pics or whatever, that's trying too hard. . Just the two emojis. Just because she is the only women to message you on the app in a year, which wasn't even a message, just a very lame emoji, that doesn't mean you have to "make it count." By jumping at the chance to talk to her. It sounds desperate. The message you want to send is you have options. Lots of options. And she is just one more option. I modified my last post to say when some random chick on an app sends you nothing but an emoji (clapping hands, whatever the hell that means) have fun with it! Play with her a bit, before the serious questions start. Again had she sent something a bit more substantive, my advice would be different. Jmo. Edited June 27, 2020 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Jmo but no cute gifs or pics or whatever, that's trying too hard. . Just the two emojis. Just because she is the only women to message you on the app in a year, which wasn't even a message, just a very lame emoji, that doesn't mean you have to "make the most of it." By jumping at the chance to talk to her. It sounds desperate. The message you want to send is you have options. Lots of options. And she is just one more option. I modified my last post to say when some random chick on an app sends you nothing than an emoji (clapping hands, whatever the hell that means) have fun with it! Play with her a bit, before the serious questions start. Again had she sent something a bit more substantive, my advice would be different. Jmo. Even though on Bumble women are supposed to make the 1st move, maybe she's just punting and wants me to make the 1st move? The last women I actually met in person from Bumble was the one that I went out with multiple times and ending up getting my 1st kiss in nearly 10 years. I went back and looked at her opening message she said that "your profile is well written. Are you doing anything fun this weekend", which is a bit more substantial that the emoji. How do you expect her to the wink emoji? Maybe I'm overthinking it but I don't want her to think I'm afraid to make a 1st move. On the other hand I see the wink is more mysterious and might be more fun for her Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 (edited) max I'm not gonna get into another debate with you like we did in your previous thread. You asked what we thought of your message to her, and I gave you my thoughts. You don't agree? That's perfectly fine. And sure "maybe" it could be this or that, so why not do what your own instincts tell you to do and let chips fall where they may? PS: Your two winks might intrigue her, get her thinking you are not like all the other chumps jumping at the chance to talk to her, simply because she sent you a lame emoji. Which might compel her to put forth some effort. Once again, even if she had sent a simple "hi" my advice would be different. But do what you want max, good luck. Edited June 27, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 that so lame. keep it simple, nothing so detailed. Be like Joey "How are you doin?" wink 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 1 hour ago, max3732 said: Maybe I'm overthinking it You are! I agree with Poppy, be a bit playful. I'd send her an 'intrigued' emoji with a wink too, and leave it to her to reply. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 2 hours ago, max3732 said: What about gifs? I didn't even realize they have a button with a bunch of gifs that you can search through. How about the 2 winks followed by a gif with someone waving hello? This whole emoji/gif thing is like a foreign language to me no on the gif waving hi. That looks a bit like you're afraid to just be who you are. I think the emoji back with winks is pretty good and then you also need to do something to keep the conversation going. What you are planning to say in your initial post is too serious IMO. Try to be more playful--which is why the wink emojis is on the right track. You need to convey FUN, playful in your way not interview style of extracting information. Also your harmless (but not exciting) proposed question is kind of all about her and what if you only get one shot to convey who you are? Show confidence not like you are trying to win the prize because that would convey that you are not on level ground. Something playful. The emojis are fun--the only thing is that you then put the pressure back on her to come up with something to say or ask so might as well create a little traction. You could talk about whatever is in your present day which is better for texting, light conversation anyway IMO and say the interview style, deeper questions for when you meet in person so you can get each others' intonations, personality and go more in depth. You lose all the non-verbal communication over text so to miss an opportunity to do that in person is kinda of mistake IMO. Plus if you make it about your present day stuff, then it also would bring her into the moment of your day which also gives her an idea of who you are. Just obviously give it shine still present you best self. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 2 hours ago, max3732 said: Even though on Bumble women are supposed to make the 1st move, maybe she's just punting and wants me to make the 1st move? Of course, she probably is doing just that. However, what you do in response has to be compelling. That doesn't necessarily mean try HARDER, it usually means meet her at her level of effort--and at same time someone worthwhile and confident with options has a personality and confidence that shines through (another reason why they wouldn't try harder in response to that but then they don't "lose" themselves with basic and bland if that makes sense). Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 3 hours ago, poppyfields said: max I'm not gonna get into another debate with you like we did in your previous thread. You asked what we thought of your message to her, and I gave you my thoughts. You don't agree? That's perfectly fine. And sure "maybe" it could be this or that, so why not do what your own instincts tell you to do and let chips fall where they may? PS: Your two winks might intrigue her, get her thinking you are not like all the other chumps jumping at the chance to talk to her, simply because she sent you a lame emoji. Which might compel her to put forth some effort. Once again, even if she had sent a simple "hi" my advice would be different. But do what you want max, good luck. I'm not trying to argue with you. I just wanted to think about it a bit and brainstorm before pulling the trigger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 2 hours ago, smackie9 said: that so lame. keep it simple, nothing so detailed. Be like Joey "How are you doin?" wink The gif I was going to send was actually of Joey saying "how are you doin?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 28, 2020 Author Share Posted June 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Versacehottie said: no on the gif waving hi. That looks a bit like you're afraid to just be who you are. I think the emoji back with winks is pretty good and then you also need to do something to keep the conversation going. What you are planning to say in your initial post is too serious IMO. Try to be more playful--which is why the wink emojis is on the right track. You need to convey FUN, playful in your way not interview style of extracting information. Also your harmless (but not exciting) proposed question is kind of all about her and what if you only get one shot to convey who you are? Show confidence not like you are trying to win the prize because that would convey that you are not on level ground. Something playful. The emojis are fun--the only thing is that you then put the pressure back on her to come up with something to say or ask so might as well create a little traction. You could talk about whatever is in your present day which is better for texting, light conversation anyway IMO and say the interview style, deeper questions for when you meet in person so you can get each others' intonations, personality and go more in depth. You lose all the non-verbal communication over text so to miss an opportunity to do that in person is kinda of mistake IMO. Plus if you make it about your present day stuff, then it also would bring her into the moment of your day which also gives her an idea of who you are. Just obviously give it shine still present you best self. I sent the emojis. Are you saying I should also send something about what I did today or wait until she responds? Link to post Share on other sites
Azincourt Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 4 hours ago, max3732 said: Even though on Bumble women are supposed to make the 1st move, maybe she's just punting and wants me to make the 1st move? The last women I actually met in person from Bumble was the one that I went out with multiple times and ending up getting my 1st kiss in nearly 10 years. I went back and looked at her opening message she said that "your profile is well written. Are you doing anything fun this weekend", which is a bit more substantial that the emoji. How do you expect her to the wink emoji? Maybe I'm overthinking it but I don't want her to think I'm afraid to make a 1st move. On the other hand I see the wink is more mysterious and might be more fun for her Ask her what she's doing next weekend, then when she details her weekend plans, ask her out. If she says yes, go out with her - and take precautions against the virus - if she says no and comes up with reasons why not, what you should do is move on. Not sure if you're already doing this or anything, but hit the GYM HARD. then have a friend take pictures of your shirtless doing work in your backyard, or at the beach with friends, or shirtless working on fixing a car. Upload those pictures to your profile, come up with something funny and write it, then kick back and enjoy the much increased matches on bumble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 28, 2020 Author Share Posted June 28, 2020 Something else I was thinking as a follow up to the emojis. She has her profile picture on a stand up paddleboard (abbreviated SUP), so what about ... "SUP! Couldn't help myself after seeing you profile picture. Been out enjoying the water lately? Today I got up early had a had a lot of fun kayaking! Hopefully you've been able to relax a bit this weekend" I keep wanting to mention all these things we have in common and just ask her about it, but that's the approach that hasn't worked for me and I think leads to the boring interview type questions. It's hard with text since I can't gauge her reaction and may only get 1 shot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted June 28, 2020 Author Share Posted June 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, Azincourt said: Ask her what she's doing next weekend, then when she details her weekend plans, ask her out. If she says yes, go out with her - and take precautions against the virus - if she says no and comes up with reasons why not, what you should do is move on. Not sure if you're already doing this or anything, but hit the GYM HARD. then have a friend take pictures of your shirtless doing work in your backyard, or at the beach with friends, or shirtless working on fixing a car. Upload those pictures to your profile, come up with something funny and write it, then kick back and enjoy the much increased matches on bumble. I thought women didn't like shirtless pics? Today I did kayaking and also hit the home gym, but I don't exactly look like a bodybuilder. Last year I put on some weight and have been slowly but surely losing it. I was really happy I was able to do a few more pull ups today than a couple weeks ago. So I'd say I'm slightly athletic looking, but will look a lot better once I lose another 5 lbs or so. Maybe I'll follow your suggestion then. Link to post Share on other sites
Azincourt Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, max3732 said: I thought women didn't like shirtless pics? Today I did kayaking and also hit the home gym, but I don't exactly look like a bodybuilder. Last year I put on some weight and have been slowly but surely losing it. I was really happy I was able to do a few more pull ups today than a couple weeks ago. So I'd say I'm slightly athletic looking, but will look a lot better once I lose another 5 lbs or so. Maybe I'll follow your suggestion then. They do. They don't like it when the guy's acting like a fratboy. Randomly showing off his chiseled torso, and being a visible jerk about it, but when he's being physically active, like working on his car, hiking a hill, playing sports with his friends, or hanging out at the beach shirtless, they enjoy it quite a bit. They aren't expecting you to be a bodybuilder. You don't have to look like Captain America or Superman. Get lean like Brandon Lee(Bruce Lee's son) in the movie The Crow and you'll get quite a few more matches. Take it slowly and don't over do it. Great that you're working on yourself, keep going at it, slowly but steady, and things will improve. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 (edited) How about "Thanks very much, I do impressions too." Or "Thanks...I think? " with a smiley emoticon. You need a little more than hands clapping to warrant a thought out response, IMO. 😃 Edited June 28, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, max3732 said: Something else I was thinking as a follow up to the emojis. She has her profile picture on a stand up paddleboard (abbreviated SUP), so what about ... "SUP! Couldn't help myself after seeing you profile picture. Been out enjoying the water lately? Today I got up early had a had a lot of fun kayaking! Hopefully you've been able to relax a bit this weekend" I keep wanting to mention all these things we have in common and just ask her about it, but that's the approach that hasn't worked for me and I think leads to the boring interview type questions. It's hard with text since I can't gauge her reaction and may only get 1 shot. Nooooo. Too much! "Love the kayak pic, I went to the Whatever River last year." Mysterious smiling emoji. Re: shirtless pics....for the love of God boy, no. Edited June 28, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Azincourt Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Nooooo. Too much! "Love the kayak pic, I went to the Whatever River last year." Mysterious smiling emoji. Re: shirtless pics....for the love of God boy, no. It worked for me. It will most likely work for him too. Less talk, more action. You don't want a penpal friend so don't go around having long convos that will probably lead nowhere, OP. Keep it short and sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 1 hour ago, max3732 said: The gif I was going to send was actually of Joey saying "how are you doin?" This would have actually been funny!!! And probably an ice breaker, especially if she laughed. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 18 minutes ago, max3732 said: Something else I was thinking as a follow up to the emojis. She has her profile picture on a stand up paddleboard (abbreviated SUP), so what about ... "SUP! Couldn't help myself after seeing you profile picture. Been out enjoying the water lately? Today I got up early had a had a lot of fun kayaking! Hopefully you've been able to relax a bit this weekend" I keep wanting to mention all these things we have in common and just ask her about it, but that's the approach that hasn't worked for me and I think leads to the boring interview type questions. It's hard with text since I can't gauge her reaction and may only get 1 shot. To me, and in line with your own personality I think this is good. Due to the lapse of time, you could attribute the kayaking as the reason that you were busy until "now" meaning the 2nd message. Idk, if I'd used the SUP as a substitute for saying "what's up" but i do think you are headed in the right direction with this message and in line with what is more playful for your personality. By some playful others would like teasing etc but that might not be you. I think it's good enough without being perfect to actually gauge if she has genuine interest in you. If it was perfect, you would never know, right? There's an initial chemistry based on looks and what she read that no perfect sentence can replace so I think it's good enough. IMO. If she doesn't respond to that, she's probably only marginally interested and it would just fizzle before you met anyway. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 23 minutes ago, max3732 said: I thought women didn't like shirtless pics? Today I did kayaking and also hit the home gym, but I don't exactly look like a bodybuilder. Last year I put on some weight and have been slowly but surely losing it. I was really happy I was able to do a few more pull ups today than a couple weeks ago. So I'd say I'm slightly athletic looking, but will look a lot better once I lose another 5 lbs or so. Maybe I'll follow your suggestion then. Shirtless photos for the sake of shirtless photos, um no. If you are out kayaking, playing beach volleyball or in motion and it's a candid, then yes. Good way to sell without overselling you but you don't need to force it if you don't have any. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 I think her just sending an emoji is very lazy and shows she didn't put any effort in at all. She might be one of those women who believe that the guy should always make the first move (Even though she's on Bumble) Just for that, I would just send her anything without thinking too much about my message... there's a chance she might not even reply anyway. And if she wasn't that cute I would ignore her Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda141 Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Keep it simple and laid-back. If I were you I’d just send her a “Hey how are you?☺️“ or the joey’s gif 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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