My opening message on Bumble after she sent me an emoji opener

[Versacehottie]

9 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

Let me first emphasize that this is showing wayyy to much interest in her off the bat. Making an expensive reservation to have a 1st date is a bad way to go, dude. The classic guy dating mistakes -- being needy, approval-seeking, over-eager, communicating lack of options and desperation, placing her on a pedestal, needing to buy affection --- all boxes are checked. 

But if the date is a formal meeting that requires reservations and confirmation, then I would actually ask her "hey, are we good for tomorrow morning?" and get a solid yes or no. If she's going to flake, flush it out. Protect your time and money. 

ehhh, i don't agree with this being too much in terms of finances.  OP, say he plays all the time and it's within his normal budget.  he'd be playing with a friend if not on the date. 

Max, next time you get a girl to agree to a date where a reservation is required (and you will lose the fee perhaps), just lock it down when discussing the plans the first time and say that you are going to make the court reservation.  If she plays tennis, she will know that might lose the fee and if you are from the same area she will know the cost of that court in general (high vs a low public court).. I'd just say confirm with her today saying you are about to book the court.

Edited July 6, 2020 by Versacehottie

[rjc149]

3 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

ehhh, i don't agree with this being too much in terms of finances.  OP, say he plays all the time and it's within his normal budget.  he'd be playing with a friend if not on the date. 

Max, next time you get a girl to agree to a date where a reservation is require (and you will lose the fee perhaps), just lock it down when discussing the plans the first time and say that you are going to make the court reservation.  If she plays, she will know that might lose the fee and if you are from the same area she will know the cost of that court in general (high vs a low public court).. I'd just say confirm with her today saying you are about to book the court.

It's not a matter of the budget or amount of money.

It's a matter of the expectations that are now being placed on the woman. It's matter to trying too hard to impress her and earn her approval. 

This is not a low-key, casual date. Now this is a formal meeting, requiring a reservation, requiring her to show up on time and participate in a physically strenuous competitive activity, with monetary penalties if she doesn't.

This is a sh-tty first date idea with a very high flake/ghost probability. JMO. 

 

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

Yep, I feel very lucky and fortunate to have found 2 beautiful women into tennis that also seem to have a lot of other things in common.

Sent another message to the 2nd match and she responded right away. If she were blowing me off completely I don't think she'd respond with somewhat long message and immediately. If she comes back and says she can't do it should I ask for another time or how should I proceed? 

With the 1st match (that lives right next to a court in a hard hit Corona location) I think I'm still ok playing but I will let her know I'm going to be careful. I'd sent her a joke video about guys playing with hazmat suits and going completely overboard, so what if I reference that and say something like "we don't have to go as far as in the video, but I'm concerned about the virus since I'm at risk due to some medication I'm taking and am need to be careful as far as distance"? 

Also, how should I follow up with her before I reserve the court?

2nd match.  That's good that she responded.  What did you guys talk about?  I would assume she IS going to respond about the tennis date.  OR to be honest, lots of girls, even ones that play tennis or are active, don't want to get sweaty on a first date.  Also there is a possibility that she is similar to you in where she doesn't really want to meet people in person because of COVID but is happy to get things started virtually. I think you should proceed as if that is the case and get to know her virtually if she is into meeting you in person it will evolve out of getting to know her as you get closer.  If it's an active date that she objects to, she will push to meet you in some other way, dropping hints.  Let the actual date part marinate. That part is in her hands.  She is still talking to you so she is interested and that is the important part (especially considering all the covid and your personal limitations).

I think the meme with the hazmat suits is an excellent way to approach the conversation with the first girl.  I think that means you already sent it.  See what i mean about chess moves, you need to be thinking ahead a little. because it would have been smartest and most lighthearted to "talk" about it and segueway into it right then and there.  I wouldn't go into the part i bolded 2nd cause it's heavy and she doesn't know you so that could be a total turnoff.  The thing in this world right now is that some people operate with caution (for VARIOUS reasons) and all you need to do is lightheartedly let her know you are one of them. If she has questions about why she will ask them.  Idk, you could also make a joke when you say how she can recognize you that you will be the guy with the ___ mask on and that it's a bummer that these are the current conditions but that you are still excited to meet her.

I do agree with the others that have said that if you're stance is as it is, and the conditions are as they are, it's a really tough time to try to persevere with dating, including that there aren't many people you mutually match with and inexperience. However, it only takes one person to be your right person. I think if you have someone on the "hook" so to speak, you work it until it no longer works.Good luck 

[Versacehottie]

6 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

It's not a matter of the budget or amount of money.

It's a matter of the expectations that are now being placed on the woman. It's matter to trying too hard to impress her and earn her approval. 

This is not a low-key, casual date. Now this is a formal meeting, requiring a reservation, requiring her to show up on time and participate in a physically strenuous competitive activity, with monetary penalties if she doesn't.

This is a sh-tty first date idea with a very high flake/ghost probability. JMO. 

 

huh, i thought you indicated that money was part of your reasoning. I actually don't agree because it's obvious that this is the OP's hobby and he does it a lot--apparently so does the girl he will be on a date with.  Just a regular friendly thing on the surface and casual. No different--for some--than a cozy bar date (which i agree is an excellent first date).  Listen, if she doesn't show up time and place for any date, there is a problem.  Financial penalties are on OP and i presume he has offered to take her to do what he can afford and finds appropriate.  I would have no problem at all with a first date like this.  Would enjoy it actually.

I don't think high flake/ghost probability is correlated with this choice of activity for the reason that she suggested it twice to him.  if there is flaking it will likely be because of the same ol' OLD/app reasons (not enough interest, too much back and forth in settling on a date in general which causes uncertainty and makes people unmotivated). JMO  

[rjc149]

3 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

huh, i thought you indicated that money was part of your reasoning...Financial penalties are on OP and i presume he has offered to take her to do what he can afford and finds appropriate.

You're not getting me. It IS part of the reasoning, but it's not the amount or the financial burden or loss of money incurred. It's the sexual expectation it places on a stranger. By setting a first date that requires him to make an expensive reservation, he is already investing way too much expectation on this date, and on her. That makes women feel put upon and uncomfortable. Unless her interest in him is really, really high (never the case on OLD) then she will very likely flake. 

Yes, she may like tennis. Yes, she may have suggested it. No, it doesn't make it a suitable idea for a man to plan a first date around. 

A guy must have that 'take it or leave it' no-expectations-no-worries attitude on a first date. Planning an elaborate tennis match date on some exclusive court that requires reservations, confirmations, deposits etc. communicates the opposite of that attitude. 

If this woman shows up and Max ends up in bed with her at some point, I'll be quite shocked. Not to say I've never been shocked before. 

[Versacehottie]

23 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

You're not getting me. It IS part of the reasoning, but it's not the amount or the financial burden or loss of money incurred. It's the sexual expectation it places on a stranger. By setting a first date that requires him to make an expensive reservation, he is already investing way too much expectation on this date, and on her. That makes women feel put upon and uncomfortable. Unless her interest in him is really, really high (never the case on OLD) then she will very likely flake. 

Yes, she may like tennis. Yes, she may have suggested it. No, it doesn't make it a suitable idea for a man to plan a first date around. 

A guy must have that 'take it or leave it' no-expectations-no-worries attitude on a first date. Planning an elaborate tennis match date on some exclusive court that requires reservations, confirmations, deposits etc. communicates the opposite of that attitude. 

If this woman shows up and Max ends up in bed with her at some point, I'll be quite shocked. Not to say I've never been shocked before. 

agree to disagree.

I don't think it's that expensive IMO and it wouldn't influence my expectations at all. maybe we are operating on a different set of variables though.  If I were in max's date's shoes, I would simply think of it as a first date.  There wouldn't be any expectations due to him having to make a reservation or spending a certain amount of money, I wouldn't feel pressured by that for a bunch of reasons.  It wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable nor would it make any of my friends feel uncomfortable.  The optimist in me pretty much assumes that guys book dates that they are up for the circumstances involved (how much effort and money) and that they do it within their means for both. I hardly think this type of date is elaborate at all.   I've been on very low spending dates with little effort and extremely high spending dates and ones that required reservations (Lol), that part doesn't really factor in, the character of the guy does (and i certainly have never felt pressure in any of the situations).  I think if a date requires that a guy does a bit of planning and effort it goes to show you that he's thoughtful or will put effort and planning in and have never drawn a negative conclusion from it.

to the bolded, perhaps that is an eventual goal of max's at some point as it is with most people (male and female) in the course of dating someone and part of hoping it "goes well". While it's not mutually exclusive, i don't think the OP's goal is so hyper-focused on that one element on his first date and making sure he manages the date so that "getting her in bed" is accomplished; it's a limited view to take. I don't think that's his purpose, which i think is more along the lines of finding someone worthy for him to date, be his girlfriend and marry.  Even if it WAS his purpose, safe to say I don't agree that your strategy is the way to do that either.  agree to disagree.

*i do somewhat agree with take it or leave attitude or no worries attitude on a first date. Think it's best when a guy offers up what he feels comfortable with..  That you are arguing max shouldn't feel comfortable with a tennis date, when he CLEARLY is comfortable with a tennis date and it's in the realm of what effort he is willing to go to is beyond me. 

[Fresh_Start]

Max,

We're now 7 pages deep and you're still asking for advice about what to say, what to do, and overthinking as well as overcomplicating all of this.  It's time to take the training wheels off that we've given you and be more assertive and decisive.  That's part of the confidence that we talked about and [most] women find it attractive and sexy. 

You're engaging in far too much jockeying and negotiating to make this date happen.  It's exhausting to the point of taking the excitement out of meeting up for a date.  In the future, get the woman's phone number ASAP, call her, and spend some time being flirty and fun with her on the phone while getting to know her a little bit.  It creates a natural progression towards going out on a real date (like dinner and drinks) instead of the cop out coffee date that most people default to and it also builds some initial romantic/sexual chemistry and attraction that can serve as a perfect segue into a flirty and fun night out.

I agree with @rjc149 that a tennis date is not a good idea for a first date.  It's hard to be flirty and fun as well as build romantic/sexual chemistry when you're on opposite ends of a tennis court smacking a ball back and forth at one another.  You need a more intimate setting than that for a first date -- one that opens the door to physical contact and even sex.  If you're not comfortable with that right now because of COVID-19, then you might want to postpone dating for awhile because otherwise you're hamstringing yourself into a series of platonic quasi-dates that are likely to go nowhere.  For now, just commit to the tennis date since it has already been discussed ad nauseam and is what you both agreed to then do things differently next time, starting with being more assertive and decisive.   

[rjc149]

52 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

agree to disagree.

I don't think it's that expensive IMO and it wouldn't influence my expectations at all. maybe we are operating on a different set of variables though.  If I were in max's date's shoes, I would simply think of it as a first date.  There wouldn't be any expectations due to him having to make a reservation or spending a certain amount of money, I wouldn't feel pressured by that for a bunch of reasons. 

...

*i do somewhat agree with take it or leave attitude or no worries attitude on a first date. Think it's best when a guy offers up what he feels comfortable with..  That you are arguing max shouldn't feel comfortable with a tennis date, when he CLEARLY is comfortable with a tennis date and it's in the realm of what effort he is willing to go to is beyond me. 

Again, I think you're focusing on the cost/amount/expense aspect. When a guy plans a first date with a complete, total stranger from the internet that he's never seen in person before, an elaborate, planned-out date that involves reservations and expenses and deposits is just way too much. It communicates need and lack and an eagerness to please. These all tend to put women off. 

I think you'd be one of the few women who would see a tennis match with a complete stranger, at an exclusive court that was expensive to reserve, and required you to confirm your attendance, as "just a first date." Most women would see that as "ehhh no thanks" and go on a simple, casual bar date with one of her other prospects. 

And Max isn't planning tennis match dates because that's what he's comfortable with. He's planning them in order to impress and please women who've stated they also like tennis. I'm not saying he should be uncomfortable with tennis match dates, I'm saying he should be mindful that his date may be uncomfortable with it. I'm also saying that planning a 1st date which requires a woman to participate in athletic competition, or do something physically strenuous or outside of her comfort zone, is a poor idea for a 1st date. 

We can agree to disagree, but I'm not sure you've understood anything I've written. 

 

Edited July 6, 2020 by rjc149

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

Again, I think you're focusing on the cost/amount/expense aspect. When a guy plans a first date with a complete, total stranger from the internet that he's never seen in person before, an elaborate, planned-out date that involves reservations and expenses and deposits is just way too much. It communicates need and lack and an eagerness to please. These all tend to put women off. 

I think you'd be one of the few women who would see a tennis match with a complete stranger, at an exclusive court that was expensive to reserve, and required you to confirm your attendance, as "just a first date." Most women would see that as "ehhh no thanks" and go on a simple, casual bar date with one of her other prospects. 

And Max isn't planning tennis match dates because that's what he's comfortable with. He's planning them in order to impress and please women who've stated they also like tennis. I'm not saying he should be uncomfortable with tennis match dates, I'm saying he should be mindful that his date may be uncomfortable with it. I'm also saying that planning a 1st date which requires a woman to participate in athletic competition, or do something physically strenuous or outside of her comfort zone, is a poor idea for a 1st date. 

We can agree to disagree, but I'm not sure you've understood anything I've written. 

 

And i'm not sure you've understood what Max has written 🙄 He's precisely going on the tennis date because it's his comfort level with COVID (and in general) and has talked about that quite a bit. I don't think he's once said he's picking it to try to impress her due to the venue and only mentioned the "expense" of it once in the fact that if they don't go at all it will be a waste.  Have you ever booked a tennis court? It's easy.  As simple as walking into a bar. Jesus. 

I do understand what you've written.  All I can say is you aren't a woman so I'm not thinking you are the best to advise on what a woman would want and how she would interpret things. It's slightly PUA the stuff you've written.   2nd bolded I said as much myself as a plausible reason why the 2nd girl hasn't responded to it so you obviously didn't understand or read what I wrote. I've gone on active dates (including for first date) and bar dates; they are both good.  I have so many girlfriends I know that i am not alone in thinking that. ok, back to OP's questions. I don't really have anything else to say--agree to disagree.  You're good to do it your way  

[poppyfields]

Hey max, please forgive me for not knowing this, you're juggling meeting a few women right now so not sure - but is Ms. Tennis actually a first meet?

Or have you met her before and this is your first date?

If it's your first meet, I lean more towards it not being a good idea.  

Not for the reasons mentioned, not that I disagree with rjc necessarily, but playing tennis sounds more conducive to developing a friendship, not a romantic relationship although you never know.  

I don't like coffee dates either for first meets. I know I am in the minority about that. 

Bar, drinks, apps is more up my alley, I think ambience plays an important role in developing sexual attraction and creating the right tension.  

Being a bit nervous is a good thing, feeling tension is a good thing! 

It means something is happening between you which is what you want, yes?

Tennis is fun but to me it's something you plan with a friend, not a woman you are meeting for the first time and with whom you want to create attraction and a bit of tension. 

JMO!

Edited July 6, 2020 by poppyfields

[rjc149]

35 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

And i'm not sure you've understood what Max has written 🙄 He's precisely going on the tennis date because it's his comfort level with COVID (and in general) and has talked about that quite a bit. I don't think he's once said he's picking it to try to impress her due to the venue and only mentioned the "expense" of it once in the fact that if they don't go at all it will be a waste.  Have you ever booked a tennis court? It's easy.  As simple as walking into a bar. Jesus. 

I do understand what you've written.  All I can say is you aren't a woman so I'm not thinking you are the best to advise on what a woman would want and how she would interpret things. It's slightly PUA the stuff you've written.   2nd bolded I said as much myself as a plausible reason why the 2nd girl hasn't responded to it so you obviously didn't understand or read what I wrote. I've gone on active dates (including for first date) and bar dates; they are both good.  I have so many girlfriends I know that i am not alone in thinking that. ok, back to OP's questions. I don't really have anything else to say--agree to disagree.  You're good to do it your way  

What I'm understanding from Max is that he is so in need of a date, that he'll go on sub-optimal low-probability dates, trying to jump through hoops with reservations and social distancing, to make it happen. It's needy. I feel that a better approach would be to wait until he is comfortable resuming normal face-to-face social activities before he starts dating. 

All I can say is that you're not a heterosexual man who has 20 years of experience dating women, who has learned through extensive trial and error what works and what doesn't work, so I'm thinking you are not the best to advise men on how to plan dates and attract women. What you are advising may work on you. It tends to not work in general. 

Dating is a probability game. So I'm advising to play to the probabilities.

He's been going on date after date with fairly consistent flakes and ghosts, and it's needlessly dinging his confidence. It's not because he is hopelessly unattractive. I'm sure he's not. It's because these are low-probability dates. I'm advising him to plan higher probability dates. You can dismiss it as PUA stuff, but it doesn't render the advice invalid, or somehow make the instinctive female aversion to male neediness and insecurity 'false.' 

[poppyfields]

max, I get you are very concerned about covid, it's a valid concern. 

Given how you feel, perhaps it's best to hold off on meeting new women for now.

You cant keep setting up tennis dates, and even assuming you and Ms. Tennis Star click, what happens next?  Another tennis date?  

Again, seems like a perfect set up for a friendship, not a romantic involvement.

[max3732]

Wow, lots of comments on here and some disagreement. I'd say that dating is definitely more and art that science and I appreciate everyone for offering help! 

So everyone knows how I'm thinking about tennis as a date right now. It's basically the only in person activity I can think of that I feel comfortable right now. It's also something that I'm very comfortable doing and that I enjoy. The way I'm looking at it is that if I don't do a tennis date then I'm either not dating or trying to do a phone or virtual date and meeting someone in person is better than not. That said I can see both points of view about whether it's a good 1st date or not.

I just don't know when things will be back to normal and I'll be able to do normal dates again and after being successful and kissing 2 different women in a row and going on multiple dates with them I don't want to get out of practice dealing with women face to face and I also just miss having an attractive female in front of me.  Especially after the excitement of the last 2 women.

To me tennis is normally a very low investment date. It just requires a bit of planning to reserve the court, especially since with the virus procedures you can't do walkins. Financially it's not a lot of money at all. I have had a problem getting into the friend zone and I don't want to do that. 

I'm going to try to not play with her like I would with a friend and carry on more of a conversation. The one that already agreed to play with me this week suggested it so she can't be that opposed to it. The 2nd one was talking a lot about it and has a tennis pic on her profile so I thought it would be a natural way to meet. 

I wish there was a better alternative right now. Like I said before I am trying to do speed dating as well and am chatting with other women, but I can only do so much through texting or the phone without meeting them. If things do go well I'm not sure what I would do as far as a 2nd date

[rjc149]

Max, would simply not dating for the time being be the end of the world?

[Mystery4u]

Have to agree with everything rjc149 has said over the last page.

Whilst I understand that OP has his reasons for only doing a tennis date, I can't help but feel from everything you are posting Max, you are going to be going straight into the friendzone again with these women.

Not only is it a terrible idea for a first date as it's something you do with someone you already know at least a bit, you already stated you don't want to even go near them etc, so won't be building up any physical chemistry. And we all already know conversational flirting is not your strong point.

Whatever does happen, I can see one thing happening for sure; you won't be getting into any of these women's knickers. Happy to be proven wrong though.

[Fresh_Start]

16 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

like you definitely do or don't do something in order to get a woman into bed

Actually, there are a lot of things you definitely do or don't do , but...

17 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

I don't want to take this off topic for the OP though.

Agreed.  It wasn't important enough for me to want to create a separate thread about it, but I wanted to hear a woman's perspective and you were the lucky contestant since you just mentioned it.

I hope that some people can be a little more mindful of the buzzwords they sling around and refrain from assigning labels to certain perspectives that might differ from their own. It's inherently divisive and ultimately counterproductive to helping someone who is asking for advice. 

As I was typing this and replying to an email I just received confirmation from Paul that some people here found my infomercial joke so convincing that they legit thought my post was spam.  I'm laughing out loud about it. 😁 

[max3732]

58 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

Max, would simply not dating for the time being be the end of the world?

Guess not, but like I've put in other threads at the big 40 approaches I've been thinking more and more about being single and my lack of dating experience. Since I didn't date at all in high school, college, or my 1st few years after college I feel like I lost out on a lot of experience.

42 minutes ago, Mystery4u said:

Have to agree with everything rjc149 has said over the last page.

Whilst I understand that OP has his reasons for only doing a tennis date, I can't help but feel from everything you are posting Max, you are going to be going straight into the friendzone again with these women.

Not only is it a terrible idea for a first date as it's something you do with someone you already know at least a bit, you already stated you don't want to even go near them etc, so won't be building up any physical chemistry. And we all already know conversational flirting is not your strong point.

Whatever does happen, I can see one thing happening for sure; you won't be getting into any of these women's knickers. Happy to be proven wrong though.

What can I do differently to avoid being friendzoned? With the one that invited me to play I've been flirty over text and unfortunately she just told me she got a minor injury playing this morning. She apologized profusely and has been texting me and sending me pics and videos and said she can meet up, but not play tennis. I don't know how we can do that.

With the other one we've just been texting about her 4th of July, where she's from, kinds of food she likes, etc. No response yet about playing. 

It's hard to explain but when I look at these profiles I remember how much I enjoyed being with my long term girlfriend and even with the last 2 women I dated and would like to experience something like that again. 

Maybe I can just periodically text these women and have a list ready to go when things get back to normal, but I thought meeting up would be better.

[max3732]

2 minutes ago, Fresh_Start said:

Actually, there are a lot of things you definitely do or don't do , but...

Agreed.  It wasn't important enough for me to want to create a separate thread about it, but I wanted to hear a woman's perspective and you were the lucky contestant since you just mentioned it.

I hope that some people can be a little more mindful of the buzzwords they sling around and refrain from assigning labels to certain perspectives that might differ from their own. It's inherently divisive and ultimately counterproductive to helping someone who is asking for advice. 

As I was typing this and replying to an email I just received confirmation from Paul that some people here found my infomercial joke so convincing that they legit thought my post was spam.  I'm laughing out loud about it. 😁 

I really liked your infomercial joke and thought your post there was really well thought out. I'd never heard of those buzzwords before. I think I'm a bit too naive with some of this stuff. Also agree it would great if I could figure this stuff out and get the training wheels off. I just keep working at it, but it's not something that comes natural to me

[Fresh_Start]

16 minutes ago, max3732 said:

I really liked your infomercial joke

Then there's hope for you after all with impeccable taste like that.

Some people take things way too seriously and need to lighten up.

18 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Also agree it would great if I could figure this stuff out and get the training wheels off. I just keep working at it, but it's not something that comes natural to me

The fact that you can admit to your own shortcomings and are willing to work on overcoming them is a very admirable quality that everybody here can appreciate and commend you for.  Some things come more naturally to some of us and the rest of us have to work at it.  That's just life. 

Since you do have confidence in other areas of your life so that you at least know what confidence looks like, how it feels, and what it does for you then it's only a matter of time before you start having more confidence with women.  It's important that you put yourself in the best position to succeed in advance though because otherwise you'll just be spinning your wheels and undermining your own attempts at becoming more confident in that area.  I know the question you asked about being relegated to the relationship purgatory otherwise known as the "friendzone" was directed at rjc, but my own answer to it is what I've already provided for you in that long post that started and ended with an infomercial joke.  At this point you've been given a lot of good advice -- especially from us Pick Up Artists -- so now it's just up to you to put it into practice.

I would strongly encourage you to consider putting dating on hold altogether though because of your concerns about COVID-19 and because of what I said about putting yourself in the best position to succeed.  Don't just half-ass it and go through the motions thinking that doing something is better than nothing.  Be confident, wait it out, and use this time to keep working on you and becoming the best version of you that you can be.  There will be plenty of women available to you when you're fully ready.  I promise. 👍    

Good luck, Max. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

Okay, Max. So when do these dates take place? Did you mention you had one set up for Tuesday (tomorrow)?

[max3732]

11 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Okay, Max. So when do these dates take place? Did you mention you had one set up for Tuesday (tomorrow)?

See my previous post. I had one set for tomorrow, but she texted me that she got injured and can't play. However said she'd still like together for something else, but that she can barely walk so it can't be something that requires walking.  She also sent me some additional pics and videos of her. So I don't think she's lying about the injury.

I have no idea what to do now. I've tried my best to keep lighthearted, fun texts going but there's no way I'm going to a restaurant or doing anything close to her right now. Guess let her know I'm concerned about the virus and we can keep texting till she gets better or things open up again? Like I said before I'm in a bad area as far as the virus and I'm susceptible to it.

The other match has continued to text me, but hasn't responded yet as far as playing.

Edited July 7, 2020 by max3732

[CaliforniaGirl]

4 minutes ago, max3732 said:

See my previous post. I had one set for tomorrow, but she texted me that she got injured and can't play. However said she'd still like together for something else, but that she can barely walk so it can't be something that requires walking.  She also sent me some additional pics and videos of her. So I don't think she's lying about the injury.

I have no idea what to do now. I've tried my best to keep lighthearted, fun texts going but there's no way I'm going to a restaurant or doing anything close to her right now. Guess let her know I'm concerned about the virus and we can keep texting till she gets better or things open up again? Like I said before I'm in a bad area as far as the virus and I'm susceptible to it.

The other match has continued to text me, but hasn't responded yet as far as playing.

This is a tough one. Distanced picnic maybe?

Covid is screwing everything up.

[rjc149]

34 minutes ago, max3732 said:

See my previous post. I had one set for tomorrow, but she texted me that she got injured and can't play. However said she'd still like together for something else, but that she can barely walk so it can't be something that requires walking.  She also sent me some additional pics and videos of her. So I don't think she's lying about the injury.

I have no idea what to do now. I've tried my best to keep lighthearted, fun texts going but there's no way I'm going to a restaurant or doing anything close to her right now. Guess let her know I'm concerned about the virus and we can keep texting till she gets better or things open up again? Like I said before I'm in a bad area as far as the virus and I'm susceptible to it.

The other match has continued to text me, but hasn't responded yet as far as playing.

Curious, Max -- how does this play out successfully in your head? You're looking for a wife, granted, but what's the short-term goal here? Have a fun, friendly game of tennis, and then, what? How do you actually hook up with these women, or move things forward? 

[max3732]

9 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

Curious, Max -- how does this play out successfully in your head? You're looking for a wife, granted, but what's the short-term goal here? Have a fun, friendly game of tennis, and then, what? How do you actually hook up with these women, or move things forward? 

Short term is to find people that I can go on real dates with and go out with in the future. I didn't know this virus was going to last so long. Maybe we can chat on the phone or with virtual dates until then.

Any other tips?

[rjc149]

Just now, max3732 said:

Short term is to find people that I can go on real dates with and go out with in the future. I didn't know this virus was going to last so long. Maybe we can chat on the phone or with virtual dates until then.

Any other tips?

Yeah, but you don't seem to like my tips lol. 

You mentioned you're a little out of shape? Get in shape. Start lifting and get serious about putting on mass. Get rid of that gut. 

Maybe your style and fashion could use updating? Update it. 

How's your hair style? Your cut? Is it frumpy, out of date, or unflattering? Fix it. 

Do you consider yourself to be a confident man? If not, figure out why, and address it. 

You have to understand something Max -- going on real dates is something you do in person, face to face, where you can laugh, flirt, touch, and escalate sexually. If you can't do that, it's a waste of your time. Doing what I've outlined above will never be a waste of your time, and it will help your dating success. So, I would focus on Maxing yourself out 😉 while you have this time to do it. Not focus on stringing low-probability dates together.