My opening message on Bumble after she sent me an emoji opener

[max3732]

7 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

I would say you better be honest pretty much up front what your limitations are (not the health specifics but what you are willing to do).  I think withholding that information will potentially ruin something you've put a lot of time into & feel good about. Also you need to prepare yourself if you are only willing to play tennis which you wear a mask to and from & won't get near her or walk in the park 6 feet apart with masks on that you are setting yourself up for a date with a severe lack of chemistry potential.  I'd say a person could maybe generate flirtation and chemistry off of these circumstances but it's an advanced move and you already struggle flirting in general!!!   And then what you are going to do to keep the relationship progressing?

I'm not sure that you should put dating completely on hold since the virus supposedly could be around for 1-2 years (currently what is one thing that is being said) but I think you better be honest and then if these awkward leaning dates by some miracle go well, you better be FLEXIBLE to keep them progressing. 

Absolutely agree that you can/should keep practice by communicating with women simultaneous to any improvements that you work on alone to make yourself more attractive to women.  That stuff goes hand in hand and can be worked on at the same time.  It's not like you are going to be dating up a storm due to the virus and more limited dating options in general and for you specifically due to your willingness to what you will do.

Yep, stop playing it so safe.

Ok,so Sally is boring and putting little effort in. I like the idea of you giving her a "chance" when your primary motive is to get practice and keep an open mind.  I think at the forefront of your mind equally should also be that you are not that impressed with her and one chance is enough. So did you do what I suggested or what do you plan to do with Sally to take it from lackluster and rapidly losing momentum to a date?  Otherwise you are just spinning your wheels and you are most likely going to put in effort with her that will be just wasted time when she drops off the face of the earth.

Of course I will be honest with any potential dates. I have let both of them know I'm taking it seriously and if/when we meet in person I will feel out the situation and let them know I'm not ready to touch them or get too close for too long. Particularly with Amy, since she lives in an area with an extremely high COVID rate, especially among younger people.

As I think about it I think a short walk less than 6 feet apart would be ok if we go to the place I have in mind since it's so spread out and in the sunshine. It will be difficult to keep the momentum going, but it doesn't seem like it would be impossible. I kept some momentum alive with someone that lived in a different state for a few years and who I only saw a couple times a year. Especially now that video chats are more common.

I did convey a message similar to what you said and tried to keep it light. She said she is working on something specific and will know better by the middle of next week and she would like to get together. 

I'm also trying to be more playful in the messages I send other women on these sites.

2 hours ago, Fresh_Start said:

I am aware.  Again, I don't want to turn this into a COVID-19 debate, but he can still apply that probability to a woman he goes on a date with and extrapolate from there.  His chances of getting COVID-19 are infinitesimally small based on the probability of his date having it and even if he is 5 times more likely to die from it than the average healthy adult in his age bracket, he still has a greater chance of being struck by lightning than dying to COVID-19.  Being "high risk" doesn't mean that you are guaranteed to get it when you leave your residence and getting it, even when you're high risk, doesn't guarantee death.  

My overall point was that if he won't feel comfortable going on real dates and having physical contact with women until after "the threat of COVID-19 goes away" then he has to understand that the threat of it could conceivably always be here, will most likely be here for at least another year, that there won't be a vaccine until around the second quarter of 2021 in a best case scenario, and that even then that will not make him or anyone else fully immune to it.  Going out with someone when you're not comfortable and don't want physical contact with them is a dead end so he has to decide whether or not he wants to pursue a date with almost no chance of becoming a relationship or if he considers the risk to be acceptable based on probability and is receptive to going on real dates and having physical contact with a woman. 

Only Max can decide that, but those are his choices.  Rushing headlong into a dead end though is folly and he'll learn this the hard way if that's his choice.     

I'm trying to do my best to make sense of this COVID situation. As I posted in the COVID area we've gotten very mixed messages as far as how dangerous it is and what to do. Before they said don't wear a mask and a mask would only make things worse, then it was you have to wear a mask. When people gathered to protest the lockdowns they said it was dangerous to gather to protest, then the type of protest changed and suddenly the warning of protesting and gathering were gone.

According to a flowchart I saw about my particular situation I'm not any more likely to get the virus, but am at higher risk of complications if I get it. The other thing is if I get the virus I wouldn't want to give it to my parents or anyone from my normal tennis. I work with 2 people who know someone who has gotten the virus.

Even if the virus wasn't completely gone I'd maybe consider getting closer to people if there wasn't a huge uptick in cases in my area.

[Versacehottie]

17 hours ago, max3732 said:

Of course I will be honest with any potential dates. I have let both of them know I'm taking it seriously and if/when we meet in person I will feel out the situation and let them know I'm not ready to touch them or get too close for too long. Particularly with Amy, since she lives in an area with an extremely high COVID rate, especially among younger people.

As I think about it I think a short walk less than 6 feet apart would be ok if we go to the place I have in mind since it's so spread out and in the sunshine. It will be difficult to keep the momentum going, but it doesn't seem like it would be impossible. I kept some momentum alive with someone that lived in a different state for a few years and who I only saw a couple times a year. Especially now that video chats are more common.

I did convey a message similar to what you said and tried to keep it light. She said she is working on something specific and will know better by the middle of next week and she would like to get together. 

I'm also trying to be more playful in the messages I send other women on these sites.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

anyone from my normal tennis.

Wait, so you aren't going to let the girls know how you feel and what precautions you will be doing until the date and then are going to "feel out the situation" on the date?  IMO, bad idea.  Pretty sure that level of paranoia and concern.will influence the date.  You can take the pressure off a bit by mentioning it BEFORE and getting her expectations in line with what you think you will be doing in regard to masking and distance, the date itself.  If you both feel more comfortable after "feeling it out", anything else is a bonus and again will serve as a bonding thing.  You don't want to work in reverse which sounds like your plan.  It's  like a RECOIL. Which is not going to go over well--people take it personally and it adds awkwardness, especially if you feel strongly about the situation and she is looser on it.  I think you are really really really underestimating how your plan will go over and your ability to judge this on the fly at the same time as make lighthearted, flirty conversation on a first date when you are already inexperienced and freeze up on that normally.  Plus you cannot see the virus as you know so it's not like you are going to feel more comfortable magically when you are there for some invisible thing.

Don't want to turn this into a COVID discussion at all and maybe the media is different where you are due to the base of people, but just want to say that your regular tennis buddies are in a way just as dangerous as a date you would go on.  Unless you can control where they have been and who've they've been in contact with and so on and so on, there is no bubble that you are in because they are normal tennis friends to you.  You are coming into contact with all of what they have done during the days previous and that people they encountered previously have been in contact with.  Sometimes even best laid plans, ie maybe a job obligation or store trip can mess up people who are trying to be safe.  Not saying this to debate the particulars on COVID thoughts only that your logic that they are regulars to you somehow makes them safer than Amy.  Amy could be sitting in her house this whole time, with grocery delivery and just chatting to guys virtually from bumble--so in theory she could be safer to be in contact than your normal tennis guys.  Another reason to bring it up beforehand and get a sense of what types of things she has been participating in or not.

Edited July 13, 2020 by Versacehottie

[max3732]

4 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

Wait, so you aren't going to let the girls know how you feel and what precautions you will be doing until the date and then are going to "feel out the situation" on the date?  IMO, bad idea.  Pretty sure that level of paranoia and concern.will influence the date.  You can take the pressure off a bit by mentioning it BEFORE and getting her expectations in line with what you think you will be doing in regard to masking and distance, the date itself.  If you both feel more comfortable after "feeling it out", anything else is a bonus and again will serve as a bonding thing.  You don't want to work in reverse which sounds like your plan.  It's  like a RECOIL. Which is not going to go over well--people take it personally and it adds awkwardness, especially if you feel strongly about the situation and she is looser on it.  I think you are really really really underestimating how your plan will go over and your ability to judge this on the fly at the same time as make lighthearted, flirty conversation on a first date when you are already inexperienced and freeze up on that normally.  Plus you cannot see the virus as you know so it's not like you are going to feel more comfortable magically when you are there for some invisible thing.

Don't want to turn this into a COVID discussion at all and maybe the media is different where you are due to the base of people, but just want to say that your regular tennis buddies are in a way just as dangerous as a date you would go on.  Unless you can control where they have been and who've they've been in contact with and so on and so on, there is no bubble that you are in because they are normal tennis friends to you.  You are coming into contact with all of what they have done during the days previous and that people they encountered previously have been in contact with.  Sometimes even best laid plans, ie maybe a job obligation or store trip can mess up people who are trying to be safe.  Not saying this to debate the particulars on COVID thoughts only that your logic that they are regulars to you somehow makes them safer than Amy.  Amy could be sitting in her house this whole time, with grocery delivery and just chatting to guys virtually from bumble--so in theory she could be safer to be in contact than your normal tennis guys.  Another reason to bring it up beforehand and get a sense of what types of things she has been participating in or not.

I've already let them both know that I'm taking it very seriously and that part of the reason I like the idea of tennis for a 1st date is because of the virus. You don't think that's enough? You're saying before we meet I need to tell them I won't get close to them on any future dates for the foreseeable future? Should I ask them how they've been handling the virus and if they've been out and about? There's already a rule that you have a wear a mask in the parking lot and can't socialize outside the court. I was planning telling them about the rule and that I'm going to follow it and if we played at the court I prefer that they need to follow it as well.

What else do I need to tell Amy or Sally? I thought it was TMI to mention I'm at an increased risk due to medication I'm taking.

If I were in an area that's seen a huge decrease in infections and hardly had anyone hospitalized I'd be willing to take more chances on a date even if the virus were still present. Right now I just read a local article saying how bad it is here. A few weeks ago things seemed much better.

I know my tennis buddies are just as dangerous. That's why I'm only doing private lessons right now. I had planned on playing with some buddies but have cancelled them until this virus threat isn't as serious. My coach is aware of my health situation and is very careful. Basically I get out of the car and walk through an open gate onto the court and keep my distance from him the whole time. When we're finished I use hand sanitizer and go right into my car. A lot of my tennis friends do international travel and they also all have kids so I'm concerned being around them. A lot of the guys are back to playing doubles and I hate turning them down, but I know I need to do it.

 

 

[Fresh_Start]

32 minutes ago, max3732 said:

If I were in an area that's seen a huge decrease in infections and hardly had anyone hospitalized I'd be willing to take more chances on a date even if the virus were still present. Right now I just read a local article saying how bad it is here. A few weeks ago things seemed much better.

What state and county do you live in?  If you don't feel comfortable sharing that information publicly, feel free to shoot me a private message and I will calculate the risk and probability for you.

In general, there aren't any areas that are having "huge decreases", but neither are there any areas that are having "huge increases".  If your area was having the "huge increases" that you think it is, you would be back on lockdown.  You need to study the numbers and not just follow the news because the news is sensationalized and misleading with its portrayal, at best, and inaccurate at worst.  For example, New York was the original epicenter of the virus, but has only had 2.2% of its population confirmed positive from the start of the pandemic to the present.  Right now, states like Florida, Texas, Arizona, and Georgia have become the new hot beds of infection with Florida being at 1.31% of its population, Texas at roughly 0.91%, Arizona at 1.7%, and Georgia at 3%.  That's from the start of the pandemic to the present, so many of those folks have already recovered. 

If your county has a population of at least 500,000 then you can look at the numbers I provided on the previous page to get a general idea of your probability of infection/your date's probability of infection.  In general, your risk of getting COVID-19 from physical contact with a random Bumble date is so small that it's silly to even worry about it.

As far as wearing a mask to and from the court: that's unnecessary unless you plan on walking through a crowd of people or in close proximity (less than 6 feet) of people.  COVID-19 is not an airborne virus.

Some other stats to consider: 

• only 1% of the population of the U.S. has tested positive/been infected.
• 92% recover and that percentage continues to increase.
• 8% die and that percentage/mortality rate continues to decrease.
• Of those that die, more than 50% of them are age 75 and up.

[Versacehottie]

3 hours ago, max3732 said:

I've already let them both know that I'm taking it very seriously and that part of the reason I like the idea of tennis for a 1st date is because of the virus. You don't think that's enough? You're saying before we meet I need to tell them I won't get close to them on any future dates for the foreseeable future? Should I ask them how they've been handling the virus and if they've been out and about? There's already a rule that you have a wear a mask in the parking lot and can't socialize outside the court. I was planning telling them about the rule and that I'm going to follow it and if we played at the court I prefer that they need to follow it as well.

What else do I need to tell Amy or Sally? I thought it was TMI to mention I'm at an increased risk due to medication I'm taking.

If I were in an area that's seen a huge decrease in infections and hardly had anyone hospitalized I'd be willing to take more chances on a date even if the virus were still present. Right now I just read a local article saying how bad it is here. A few weeks ago things seemed much better.

I know my tennis buddies are just as dangerous. That's why I'm only doing private lessons right now. I had planned on playing with some buddies but have cancelled them until this virus threat isn't as serious. My coach is aware of my health situation and is very careful. Basically I get out of the car and walk through an open gate onto the court and keep my distance from him the whole time. When we're finished I use hand sanitizer and go right into my car. A lot of my tennis friends do international travel and they also all have kids so I'm concerned being around them. A lot of the guys are back to playing doubles and I hate turning them down, but I know I need to do it.

 

 

ok good that they at least know your position on it.  I think you should at least move to talking on the phone.  It sounds like your conversations with Amy who is open and friendly is stilted because you are using messaging.  There is a difference between saying that you are taking it seriously and some sort of discussion where you are asking her what she thinks, kind of talking it over, like even in a funny way like "how the date is going to go". I think stating it and what you will do is a little self centered  and short sighted like you are talking AT her.  If it's not a "discussion" it's basically like that even if it's not mean spirited. Bolded yes, this is how you would deal with it and open a discussion.  If anything it will at least prep her (let's say Amy cause I don't think you are going out with the other one just yet if at all) about how you are in general.  It goes without saying that even without the virus you are an extremely cautious person.  If someone meeting you who is a stranger to you essentially knows in advance AND still agrees to meet with you that you are going to be timid about space etc, it will sure be better than you trying to lean away from her, keep your distance and all that out of the blue.  Agreeing to go on a date, would almost indicate that you are NOT going to be like that, so you better prep her.  Funny, lighthearted.  It doesn't have to be a huge deal but if you sprung it on her, it would be.

I think it's too soon to tell her your medical specifics.  You could allude to it if you want but if it's going to stop her in her tracks, I don't think you need to say anything.  Some people are open with medical info; some aren't.  Your prerogative.   She does sound pretty understanding in general and if you wouldn't feel embarrassed by her knowing the information or that it would make any moment heavy, I also don't see it as a problem if you did tell her.  It will make it understandable that you are cautious about things related to the virus. 

I mean realistically, like we have told you, this is all splitting hairs.  None of it will be ideal but the overwhelming characteristic of this point in time is it is not the ideal time to date.  You never know maybe she feels much like you or she could be on the entire opposite side of the spectrum with how she feels.  Don't you want to know?  That alone tells you how people move through life in general and as you EXPAND on any topic, especially if it is relevant to you and impacting your life, you will come across how people you are planning on dating what their values are and how they express them and how they live their life.  

Ok, maybe it wasn't clear what you were saying about your tennis buddies.  Another reason it would be good to expand on your discussion of it with her is like I said.  What if you find out she really has barely left her house?  Or only did the same things as you, ie play tennis (which supposedly she did when she got injured)?  Or what if she is out socializing quite a bit? then you might rethink the first date of tennis knowing you will get stuck anyway because you can't do more than that in the future.

Ok these are nuances... when are you going out with her?  I'm assuming you've kept talking to her. Tomorrow is a week after when you had the cancelled date scheduled.  IMO, you need to reschedule pretty immediately.  Right now with a week gone by and her willing to go do anything, it feels like you are dragging your feet.  I'm sure that's what it feels like to her.  

[max3732]

15 hours ago, Fresh_Start said:

What state and county do you live in?  If you don't feel comfortable sharing that information publicly, feel free to shoot me a private message and I will calculate the risk and probability for you.

In general, there aren't any areas that are having "huge decreases", but neither are there any areas that are having "huge increases".  If your area was having the "huge increases" that you think it is, you would be back on lockdown.  You need to study the numbers and not just follow the news because the news is sensationalized and misleading with its portrayal, at best, and inaccurate at worst.  For example, New York was the original epicenter of the virus, but has only had 2.2% of its population confirmed positive from the start of the pandemic to the present.  Right now, states like Florida, Texas, Arizona, and Georgia have become the new hot beds of infection with Florida being at 1.31% of its population, Texas at roughly 0.91%, Arizona at 1.7%, and Georgia at 3%.  That's from the start of the pandemic to the present, so many of those folks have already recovered. 

If your county has a population of at least 500,000 then you can look at the numbers I provided on the previous page to get a general idea of your probability of infection/your date's probability of infection.  In general, your risk of getting COVID-19 from physical contact with a random Bumble date is so small that it's silly to even worry about it.

As far as wearing a mask to and from the court: that's unnecessary unless you plan on walking through a crowd of people or in close proximity (less than 6 feet) of people.  COVID-19 is not an airborne virus.

Some other stats to consider: 

• only 1% of the population of the U.S. has tested positive/been infected.
• 92% recover and that percentage continues to increase.
• 8% die and that percentage/mortality rate continues to decrease.
• Of those that die, more than 50% of them are age 75 and up.

The news is very confusing and scary. One thing that really bothers me is that they don't separate how many new cases come from increased testing vs. a higher % of people having the virus. I thought Covid-19 was an airborne virus and can also be spread by touching surfaces.

14 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

ok good that they at least know your position on it.  I think you should at least move to talking on the phone.  It sounds like your conversations with Amy who is open and friendly is stilted because you are using messaging.  There is a difference between saying that you are taking it seriously and some sort of discussion where you are asking her what she thinks, kind of talking it over, like even in a funny way like "how the date is going to go". I think stating it and what you will do is a little self centered  and short sighted like you are talking AT her.  If it's not a "discussion" it's basically like that even if it's not mean spirited. Bolded yes, this is how you would deal with it and open a discussion.  If anything it will at least prep her (let's say Amy cause I don't think you are going out with the other one just yet if at all) about how you are in general.  It goes without saying that even without the virus you are an extremely cautious person.  If someone meeting you who is a stranger to you essentially knows in advance AND still agrees to meet with you that you are going to be timid about space etc, it will sure be better than you trying to lean away from her, keep your distance and all that out of the blue.  Agreeing to go on a date, would almost indicate that you are NOT going to be like that, so you better prep her.  Funny, lighthearted.  It doesn't have to be a huge deal but if you sprung it on her, it would be.

I think it's too soon to tell her your medical specifics.  You could allude to it if you want but if it's going to stop her in her tracks, I don't think you need to say anything.  Some people are open with medical info; some aren't.  Your prerogative.   She does sound pretty understanding in general and if you wouldn't feel embarrassed by her knowing the information or that it would make any moment heavy, I also don't see it as a problem if you did tell her.  It will make it understandable that you are cautious about things related to the virus. 

I mean realistically, like we have told you, this is all splitting hairs.  None of it will be ideal but the overwhelming characteristic of this point in time is it is not the ideal time to date.  You never know maybe she feels much like you or she could be on the entire opposite side of the spectrum with how she feels.  Don't you want to know?  That alone tells you how people move through life in general and as you EXPAND on any topic, especially if it is relevant to you and impacting your life, you will come across how people you are planning on dating what their values are and how they express them and how they live their life.  

Ok, maybe it wasn't clear what you were saying about your tennis buddies.  Another reason it would be good to expand on your discussion of it with her is like I said.  What if you find out she really has barely left her house?  Or only did the same things as you, ie play tennis (which supposedly she did when she got injured)?  Or what if she is out socializing quite a bit? then you might rethink the first date of tennis knowing you will get stuck anyway because you can't do more than that in the future.

Ok these are nuances... when are you going out with her?  I'm assuming you've kept talking to her. Tomorrow is a week after when you had the cancelled date scheduled.  IMO, you need to reschedule pretty immediately.  Right now with a week gone by and her willing to go do anything, it feels like you are dragging your feet.  I'm sure that's what it feels like to her.  

I definitely see what you mean about having a conversation about the virus vs. me dictating my demands with it. Now that you mention it the difference is obvious, but it's not something I was that aware of. So this is already good practice.

We're setup to play in the next few days. I'm really excited and keep looking at her pictures/videos. I think I mentioned this before, but she is much more outgoing than me. She has pictures singing and dancing and just seems like a happy, fun person that's always laughing. I can be so serious and factual and afraid to offend someone that I'm boring. Once we're on the court I have to keep telling myself to make it fun and light and forget about how we're both playing. From the video she sent me it looks like she can keep the ball in play and has some basic skills, but isn't exactly going to push me as far as tennis goes. That's seems perfect since I can dictate what happens and I'm also not going to be chasing balls everyone like if she had no control and was a complete beginner. 

Any advice for how to greet her or what to talk about as we're walking to the court with our masks on? I know first impressions are lasting and I get so nervous when I first meet someone I find attractive and want to go with the flow but also have a basic gameplan. I'm a bit reluctant to talk on the phone since we already have a date setup and I don't want to blow it by getting nervous, having my brain shut down and stammering on the phone. If there was a way to stop doing that for self improvement I'd be happy to try it.

From what I can see her personality is so bubbily I'm hoping it will put me at ease and I can have fun and tease her a bit without feeling like I'm going to offend her.

[Versacehottie]

33 minutes ago, max3732 said:

The news is very confusing and scary. One thing that really bothers me is that they don't separate how many new cases come from increased testing vs. a higher % of people having the virus. I thought Covid-19 was an airborne virus and can also be spread by touching surfaces.

I definitely see what you mean about having a conversation about the virus vs. me dictating my demands with it. Now that you mention it the difference is obvious, but it's not something I was that aware of. So this is already good practice.

We're setup to play in the next few days. I'm really excited and keep looking at her pictures/videos. I think I mentioned this before, but she is much more outgoing than me. She has pictures singing and dancing and just seems like a happy, fun person that's always laughing. I can be so serious and factual and afraid to offend someone that I'm boring. Once we're on the court I have to keep telling myself to make it fun and light and forget about how we're both playing. From the video she sent me it looks like she can keep the ball in play and has some basic skills, but isn't exactly going to push me as far as tennis goes. That's seems perfect since I can dictate what happens and I'm also not going to be chasing balls everyone like if she had no control and was a complete beginner. 

Any advice for how to greet her or what to talk about as we're walking to the court with our masks on? I know first impressions are lasting and I get so nervous when I first meet someone I find attractive and want to go with the flow but also have a basic gameplan. I'm a bit reluctant to talk on the phone since we already have a date setup and I don't want to blow it by getting nervous, having my brain shut down and stammering on the phone. If there was a way to stop doing that for self improvement I'd be happy to try it.

From what I can see her personality is so bubbily I'm hoping it will put me at ease and I can have fun and tease her a bit without feeling like I'm going to offend her.

Bolded.  If you search for it or even on some news media they actually do separate it.  If your area is in the spike, which you indicated it is, that is not just from additional testing. It's a higher positivity rate among all those tested. A percentage of the tested population.  

OMG!!! bolded to the 2nd.  I'm literally so happy that you are understanding this concept.  It actually extends to so much more and what i've been talking to you about on many of your threads.  Understanding and applying your understanding of turning things into a real conversation rather than an exchange of facts, I believe, is one of the things I can tell from talking to you here that would help you immensely more in connecting with people.  And you are exactly right.  This is how you can find ways to "practice" in each and every situation that is a form of communication from knowing the difference. 3rd bolded is the vibe that i get a lot from you and I think part of the core problem for you in dating/probably friendships as well.

Great, well Amy could be a great counter balance to who you are.  While I would encourage you to come out of your shell and make things fun or light (cause it's a date after all), you shouldn't be someone you are not.  Try to be your best, ideal self and push yourself through things that are uncomfortable for you.  But it does not mean you need to try to emulate who she is.  One thing I think that happens in good couples is that your appreciation and admiring the qualities she has (outgoing, happy, fun) can be as valuable as you possessing them.  People long to be understood for who they are--their overriding positive qualities and ones that they only let those close them see.  Showing that you appreciate these things about her and letting her know you "see" them is a great way to connect with someone.  More practice, is that in each girl you talk to (or really again any person you come in contact with) you have a chance to NOTICE positive things about them.  Then you really are at the ready with ways to express that you "understand" the most positive things about them.  It can be powerfully magnetic--since a lot of people don't do this & a lot of people put it off "until they are in a couple" when the very fact that you notice could be part of the reason you BECOME a couple.  It keeps you a little ahead of the game.  BTW, i'm not saying overdo it with compliments.  I can't explain myself well this am about this but hopefully you get what i mean.

I think for the smaller specifics of what to talk to her about, it's like several of us have been saying the last few pages of posts, you need to take that into your own hands and make this date your own.  Not have us write the script for you.

But I will say, as a strategy thing, I think you should just arrange to meet her on the court.  I think you want to MINIMIZE and REMOVE any awkwardness which is really related to virus fear but will be attributed and transferred  to an assessment about you.  If there is a way to remove awkwardness you should take it.  In this case that means not meeting at car or front of club with masks on and walk awkwardly and uncomfortably to the court together but to be there already on court without one and she shows up.  Then it can be more about you two & the date rather than virus things.  I could be splitting hairs because some people could do the most awkward of things and "survive" it including a whole mask walk uncomfortable moment but I do think again it's an advanced move.  She could probably do it, but can you?  I'm talking personality.  I know you could very well physically make that walk.  Just wondering if the awkwardness of it will permeate the whole date going forward.

Personally (glad you have everything set up btw!! finally), I think a phone call would do YOU some good.  Like any good exercise, you need to walk before you can run and you perfect techniques by breaking them down into smaller steps.  Also that feeling more comfortable with her via a 15 minute or so phone call will help your nerves.  I think that's where you always get it wrong---you want to conceal yourself until the last moment and then think you are going to reveal yourself AND magically be at OPTIMAL date performance, when you already know you struggle and freeze up, which perpetuates the problem because you put yourself in an impossible pressure cooker.  You lack practice with a particular person, with females you find attractive overall, with general socializing and don't take the necessary steps to get yourself comfortable in advance and then want to perform at level 10 in a situation that matters very much to you.  It's recipe for disaster & can lead to choking.  Funny you see it all the time with pros in tennis.  I think it would do you good to talk to her in advance to make you more comfortable.  If you are worried about choking, that worry is not going away on the date--it will be amplified!!!  You need exposure therapy  Which in this case would be expose yourself to what makes you nervous in advance so you can be calmer in the event.  That's my 2 cents.