Sano1728 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years, and married for 2. We have two children 7 and 2 but from day one he has constantly spoke to other woman. At first I thought we were younger and I was stupid and was hoping it would get better. I thought for sure when I was pregnant with my second child that things were better, he even proposed and got married a few months before giving birth. Fast forward to recently right before lockdown I went through his old phone going back from two years ago (the year we got married) to presently this year February he’s been talking to numerous girls and even on dating sites. One conversation said he wanted to marry one of them, another completely denied his children altogether, another telling this girl he loves them. Clearly after that I threw him out but he wanted to explain. He said he likes to feel wanted it’s just words never any sex and it meant nothing blah blah so on. I felt that it was all bull but for my kids I thought I will give it one last try I didn’t want to leave with the “what if” playing over in my head. He had blocked all the numbers and kept his phone unlocked with messages to appear on the main screen so I could read them. So today I go into his phone and he downloaded a text app with a new number to reach out to one of those girls. Apparently for some reason the girl sent him money (she works at the gym he would go to) and he wanted to find out what it was for. Now I think it’s bulls*** and he shouldn’t have cared or told me about it. So I send a message from that app on his phone telling her how’s married with two kids not because I was mad at her but I see how he lies to everyone. She was shocked and just said bye. Now he’s saying it was just to clarify what the money was for but I’m done I can’t be wondering every day what my husband is doing in his phone or behind my back. Does anyone have advice on how they pushed their way to divorce when they knew it was the right decision to make even though it’s such a sad feeling at the same time? Thanks if you read this whole thing Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, Sano1728 said: Clearly after that I threw him out but he wanted to explain. He said he likes to feel wanted it’s just words never any sex and it meant nothing blah blah so on. Sounds familiar! Until he did meet one of them for sex. Also, too bad so sad....."liking to feel wanted" is the reason ALL people cheat, but it doesn't make it right and is no excuse! If you want to that excitement of being wanted all the time, don't get married or be in a long term relationship. Date around. What makes him think he deserves to have this rush all the time? He doesn't get to have that AND a wife. Of course you should make him feel wanted and needed, but I suspect what he means is the NEW feeling of it.....before someone knows about his "cons" and only sees the "pros" about him. It's an addictive feeling and why affairs keep going. Link to post Share on other sites
emprosnet7 Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 46 minutes ago, Sano1728 said: My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years, and married for 2. We have two children 7 and 2 but from day one he has constantly spoke to other woman. At first I thought we were younger and I was stupid and was hoping it would get better. I thought for sure when I was pregnant with my second child that things were better, he even proposed and got married a few months before giving birth. Fast forward to recently right before lockdown I went through his old phone going back from two years ago (the year we got married) to presently this year February he’s been talking to numerous girls and even on dating sites. One conversation said he wanted to marry one of them, another completely denied his children altogether, another telling this girl he loves them. Clearly after that I threw him out but he wanted to explain. He said he likes to feel wanted it’s just words never any sex and it meant nothing blah blah so on. I felt that it was all bull but for my kids I thought I will give it one last try I didn’t want to leave with the “what if” playing over in my head. He had blocked all the numbers and kept his phone unlocked with messages to appear on the main screen so I could read them. So today I go into his phone and he downloaded a text app with a new number to reach out to one of those girls. Apparently for some reason the girl sent him money (she works at the gym he would go to) and he wanted to find out what it was for. Now I think it’s bulls*** and he shouldn’t have cared or told me about it. So I send a message from that app on his phone telling her how’s married with two kids not because I was mad at her but I see how he lies to everyone. She was shocked and just said bye. Now he’s saying it was just to clarify what the money was for but I’m done I can’t be wondering every day what my husband is doing in his phone or behind my back. Does anyone have advice on how they pushed their way to divorce when they knew it was the right decision to make even though it’s such a sad feeling at the same time? Thanks if you read this whole thing He is talking to numerous girls on dating sites and a woman is sending him money !! I have sent 10 messages and got zero replies. Who exactly is your husband ?! Just a little bad humor from my part... I haven't done anything like that in my marriage and I still could not save it. I am sorry for you because the kids are young and will lose their father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sano1728 Posted June 30, 2020 Author Share Posted June 30, 2020 Thank you guys for the responses. That’s what I told him it’s just a habit that he can’t or choosing not to change and I don’t want to hear it anymore. And the money that was sent to him was $25 I saw I believe it was his dues that was taken out which during this time it wasn’t suppose to but like who goes and sends it from their personal account? It’s a lot to deal with I know I shouldn’t be with him but I’m sad that my family won’t be us anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
sazz8888 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 Anyone can choose to change. The problem comes when they don't acknowledge its a problem, dont take responsibility for what they are doing, or have no remorse. If he does not want to change then leave him. He doesn't deserve you x Link to post Share on other sites
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