Never married/had children

[vjk]

14 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Wait a min., 5'10 is considered "short'? lol. That's funny. 

 In her Disney fantasy, I doubt she expects you to mine for diamonds, protect a pot of gold, or bake cookies in a tree. But, it does put you in the unnoticed, unnamed peasant farmer category.  You use OLD; I'm sure you seen the 6 foot or taller profiles.

  

Edited August 10, 2020 by vjk

[QuietRiot]

10 minutes ago, vjk said:

 In her Disney fantasy, I doubt she expects you to mine for diamonds, protect a pot of gold, or bake cookies in a tree. But, it does put you in the unnoticed, unnamed peasant farmer category.  You use OLD; I'm sure you seen the 6 foot or taller profiles.

  

Yeah, and some of these ladies are short. I saw a 5'4" woman that demanded that no one under 5'10" contact her. She was in her mid-50s and she claimed that she still "got it" via her genes. TO be honest, she wasn't that much to look at visually.

[Mysterio]

On 8/9/2020 at 5:37 PM, ThereSheGoes said:

Kinda off topic, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, I find single moms are easier to find partners than women who have no kids/never been married. I'm 30, been single for a little over a year, and I have yet to find someone to be in a serious relationship with. The men I have come across though, all seem to have been previously involved in long lasting monogamous relationships with single moms/women who are divorced or out of a LT relationship, and these women get partnered so fast by men who have no children/never been married. They're almost like the first pick.

But a single woman who is 30, and childless without ex husbands or even ex boyfriends lingering around, is almost seen as not viable?

Kinda reminds me of how a car company or a loan company would rather take their chances with someone who has bad credit, than someone who has no credit at all, because with the bad credit, you at least know what you're working with, in a way.

 

OP, count your blessings. You hit the lotto.

A single childless/never married woman for me would be top notch for me.  I don't think I could handle a single mom now at age 49.  Unless she makes our life on her side easy.  Which means low drama.

[basil67]

On 8/10/2020 at 7:54 AM, Mysterio said:

When I interact with women.  It always feels like the women need to be in some high octane adventure all the time.  Being low key= boredom.  Being chill more or less the same.  The couple that I see that have made it to at least 20 something plus years.  They are sort of low key with each other.  The couples that don't make it.  They want high octane adventure all the time.  

I would suggest that all the people who are chronically single are single because they have traits which others don't desire.   Inability to be bored is just one of the many reasons.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. OLD is the used car lot of life.    The good ones will get snapped up very quickly.  All the rest are unwanted for a reason.

[Mysterio]

I see your view Basil.  I don't know what traits I posses that keeps me single and I know a lot of other men/women that are single as well.  Most of my friends that are attached.  Its not like they were rolling with people in their lives.  

I am more the deep probing conversationalist rather than Mr. Fun with drinks and lets have nothing conversations.  These days I think that a lot of people are having problems just having conversations period.  

[basil67]

4 minutes ago, Mysterio said:

I am more the deep probing conversationalist rather than Mr. Fun with drinks and lets have nothing conversations.  

Yeah, see I would only end up with someone who can do both of these things plus find a mid-line depending on the time, place and vibe.   

Edited August 12, 2020 by basil67

[Mysterio]

I am like this.  We talk about our lives.  I don't drink.  So I am not just babbling away.  So when I get together with friends.  Its usually one on one for the most part.  Or maybe 3 to four of us.  Not 20 and if it is.  Its got to me like a house party.  There is humour.  I just try to have good time either way.  I am midline in content.  Its not like lets talk about childhood trauma's.  

For me the base of myself is more conversation.  Some people have a hard time with it.  I have a male friend that is so into his Video games.  He is hard to have a conversation with.  

[QuietRiot]

Something I've noticed, though may be anecdotal, is that it'd be ideal for me to find a woman over 40 that was never married and no kids, which I on occasion do, but it seemed most of them wanted to have children (getting the baby cravings). My cut off was at 40. The last woman I dated...ideal type...never married, no kids, early 40s...after a month in she revealed she wanted children...and I said that was a no-go...and she told me the reason she moved to my state was because her previous boyfriend (around my age) of 5 years didn't want kids. So we ended it. She wanted to foster apparently. Which was funny, as she had no income (living with her dad) and the state foster program required that you need an income.

[Bluesky00]

Failed relationships are failed relationships. Doesn’t really matter if they have been married or divorced “twice.” And a piece of paper stating they have been married once doesn’t make them more desirable than not ever signing a legal document. 

[snowcones]

On 7/1/2020 at 2:07 AM, CaliforniaGirl said:

Is he 30? No.

Is he 40? Sort of no.

Is he over 40...yeah, I dunno. He just doesn't want to get married, or he can't find a taker. The first one wouldn't really be a red flag per se, but if you want marriage, you probably don't want to pursue. You won't change his mind.

This.

If I just want to play around with someone and not be serious, this guy would be fine for the moment.  But if I wanted to be serious.......

The quoted above is what I would assume and likely pass on him, unless he tells me that he was in a LTR with a woman where he really wanted to get married (proposal with a ring and a date in the near future)  but the woman didn't want to get married and either stalled or flat out said no (which is probably a rare occurrence).   Other than that, if no other woman in his past could convince him to marry, I certainly wouldn't think I was different and wouldn't want to walk out on that ledge.  As far as no children goes, that also depends on the women he's been involved with in the past and his attitude towards having children.

[some_username1]

On 8/9/2020 at 11:37 PM, ThereSheGoes said:

Kinda off topic, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, I find single moms are easier to find partners than women who have no kids/never been married. I'm 30, been single for a little over a year, and I have yet to find someone to be in a serious relationship with. The men I have come across though, all seem to have been previously involved in long lasting monogamous relationships with single moms/women who are divorced or out of a LT relationship, and these women get partnered so fast by men who have no children/never been married. They're almost like the first pick.

But a single woman who is 30, and childless without ex husbands or even ex boyfriends lingering around, is almost seen as not viable?

Kinda reminds me of how a car company or a loan company would rather take their chances with someone who has bad credit, than someone who has no credit at all, because with the bad credit, you at least know what you're working with, in a way.

 

OP, count your blessings. You hit the lotto.

It’s probably to do with women who don’t have ex-husband/child baggage at 30 are even rarer than men who don’t have any of that at 40. Fire up any dating app you care to mention and most guys can get a date with a woman with kids from a previous partner, they’re a dime a dozen. A lot of men are happy with that and accept that their lot in life is to provide for other people’s kids rather than hold out for the mythical childless woman but possibly having to face being single. Being single scares a lot of people, sometimes into making bad decisions.

[SummerDreams]

On 8/10/2020 at 12:54 AM, Mysterio said:

I made a list of all the women in my life from 19 to 49 in terms of romantic relationships that I feel were major in my life for the most part.  Or at least attempts. I feel like I could not make most of them work out, because they all seem Emotional unstable.

The only common thing these women have is you. So you should probably consider the possibility that you are the one who gets with emotionally unstable women because in your head, consciously or subconsciously, you never wanted anything more serious. Other than that, nobody said anything about feeling ashamed. We all live our life  the way we want it.

[Mysterio]

If I did not want anything serious.  I would not try dating.  Its never been to the point where I am with multiple women.  Or all I want is sex.  I take my time with women.  There is no quick jumping into bed or heavy commitment to them.  Just going out and seeing where things lead. 

I just find dating now a days hard.  It feel like most women want everything all at once.  Where I am lets build into a relationship.  

[chillii]

 

But you see that's all about the person , your going for the wrong women. There's so many things about her that will give all that away in 5mins flat it's very easily spotted , even if you were reading her profile on a date site. But that also works vise versa and if she's a stable clear thinking grounded type person that's also very easily spotted though rarer and rarer as we get older. Trouble is at your ages if you prefer never married or kids then if she hasn't had at least one stable long term relationship talking at least 10 or 15yrs , then she'll likely just be more of what you've been finding so that's the other tricky part for you.

Edited August 24, 2020 by chillii

[neowulf]

Well, I'm 41 and I've never been married or had children, but have maintained long term relationships for the duration of my adult life.

In the end, I've never been married because I've never felt the strong desire too.

I thought it might show up eventually, but it doesn't appear to have. 

I'm not against marriage.  I just thought it would be something I'd naturally want.  When that desire didn't appear... I haven't really figured out what to make of it really.

Should you just "get married" as a cold, clinical choice?  I don't know many women who'd be super excited to marry a guy "Because he decided it just made sense".

[QuietRiot]

9 hours ago, neowulf said:

Well, I'm 41 and I've never been married or had children, but have maintained long term relationships for the duration of my adult life.

In the end, I've never been married because I've never felt the strong desire too.

I thought it might show up eventually, but it doesn't appear to have. 

I'm not against marriage.  I just thought it would be something I'd naturally want.  When that desire didn't appear... I haven't really figured out what to make of it really.

Should you just "get married" as a cold, clinical choice?  I don't know many women who'd be super excited to marry a guy "Because he decided it just made sense".

Have the women you were in long term relationships ever try to talk you into marry them, and thusly, it ended when you did not?

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 8/15/2020 at 9:36 AM, SummerDreams said:

The only common thing these women have is you. So you should probably consider the possibility that you are the one who gets with emotionally unstable women because in your head, consciously or subconsciously, you never wanted anything more serious. Other than that, nobody said anything about feeling ashamed. We all live our life  the way we want it.

I'm slapping myself for saying this but...exactly.

Anybody can run into a crazy or two. It happens.

Nearly ALL women over a 20-year period? 

Dude.

ETA: oh, wait. A THIRTY year period.

Just....

Yeah.

Edited August 30, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 8/27/2020 at 4:27 PM, neowulf said:

Well, I'm 41 and I've never been married or had children, but have maintained long term relationships for the duration of my adult life.

In the end, I've never been married because I've never felt the strong desire too.

I thought it might show up eventually, but it doesn't appear to have. 

I'm not against marriage.  I just thought it would be something I'd naturally want.  When that desire didn't appear... I haven't really figured out what to make of it really.

Should you just "get married" as a cold, clinical choice?  I don't know many women who'd be super excited to marry a guy "Because he decided it just made sense".

Sounds reasonable. You're able to maintain relationships, and you choose not to marry. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

So @Ellener, after all this discussion...what ever did happen with this guy??

[neowulf]

On 8/28/2020 at 6:45 PM, QuietRiot said:

Have the women you were in long term relationships ever try to talk you into marry them, and thusly, it ended when you did not?

Not sure if it's a cultural thing where I live, or if women my age have kind of "gotten over it", but generally speaking, the women I date don't seem to be in a hurry to get married either.

That said, if it was really important to my partner, I'd give it serious consideration.  

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 8/10/2020 at 5:10 PM, QuietRiot said:

Yeah, and some of these ladies are short. I saw a 5'4" woman that demanded that no one under 5'10" contact her. She was in her mid-50s and she claimed that she still "got it" via her genes. TO be honest, she wasn't that much to look at visually.

Right, and...? Tons of geezers demand young women while refusing women their own age. Unattractive guys will sometimes only accept a pretty woman. ("I can't control what I like! It's biology... ") Since when is it an ordinance that we are only allowed to be attracted to our visual equal?

Are you saying short women must be attracted to short men because otherwise it's hypocritical or something?

If so then do you agree 40-year-old dudes should date age 37 minimum?

And guys with a little paunch must only date muffin top women?

Bald guys better not expect a woman to have nice hair?

And so on?

This doesn't include me, but many women are attracted to taller men. I really don't think that's a big shocker or anything. So they mention it on their profile (or indicate it some other way). Just like middle-aged men will screen out women any older than 10 years or however younger than they are. So how come the height thing is apparently a ridiculous box to check off?

If you're shorter than a certain height some women won't date you. It is what it is.

Edited August 31, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 8/12/2020 at 6:49 PM, some_username1 said:

It’s probably to do with women who don’t have ex-husband/child baggage at 30 are even rarer than men who don’t have any of that at 40. Fire up any dating app you care to mention and most guys can get a date with a woman with kids from a previous partner, they’re a dime a dozen. A lot of men are happy with that and accept that their lot in life is to provide for other people’s kids rather than hold out for the mythical childless woman but possibly having to face being single. Being single scares a lot of people, sometimes into making bad decisions.

Most 40+ men have children too.

How do you think those babies got there?

As for baggage, no marriage and no kids does NOT equal no baggage. 

Edited August 31, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[QuietRiot]

4 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Right, and...? Tons of geezers demand young women while refusing women their own age. Unattractive guys will sometimes only accept a pretty woman. ("I can't control what I like! It's biology... ") Since when is it an ordinance that we are only allowed to be attracted to our visual equal?

Are you saying short women must be attracted to short men because otherwise it's hypocritical or something?

If so then do you agree 40-year-old dudes should date age 37 minimum?

And guys with a little paunch must only date muffin top women?

Bald guys better not expect a woman to have nice hair?

And so on?

This doesn't include me, but many women are attracted to taller men. I really don't think that's a big shocker or anything. So they mention it on their profile (or indicate it some other way). Just like middle-aged men will screen out women any older than 10 years or however younger than they are. So how come the height thing is apparently a ridiculous box to check off?

If you're shorter than a certain height some women won't date you. It is what it is.

I could understand if the woman was tall herself. Like if she's 5'8", and I'm 5'8...but she wants taller. That makes sense.  A short woman, that is shorter than me, wanting much taller than me...is being unrealistic. Sadly, this woman was in her 50's, so it was unusual for a woman her age to still be shallow.

And we can back and forth all day about men doing the same thing, yeah, that's just as bad, too...and proves my point...I had a male friend that was obese, but he wanted gorgeous women.

It's these kinds of unrealistic expectations these people have that keep me single for so long.

Edited August 31, 2020 by QuietRiot

[elaine567]

3 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

A short woman, that is shorter than me, wanting much taller than me...is being unrealistic.
Sadly, this woman was in her 50's, so it was unusual for a woman her age to still be shallow.

It is a preference.
People do not go, "I am short, fat and ugly", so I am therefore attracted to a short fat and ugly partner... It doesn't work like that.
At 5'4 she wants a tall man, nothing wrong with that, why not?
Tall men are generally seen to be desirable, so why would she deny herself that? 
At 5'4 she is of average height for a woman, 5'8 is below average for a man in the US...

[QuietRiot]

55 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

It is a preference.
People do not go, "I am short, fat and ugly", so I am therefore attracted to a short fat and ugly partner... It doesn't work like that.
At 5'4 she wants a tall man, nothing wrong with that, why not?
Tall men are generally seen to be desirable, so why would she deny herself that? 
At 5'4 she is of average height for a woman, 5'8 is below average for a man in the US...

The bolded - yeah, and your point is?

Anyways, maybe I should just go after Filipina women as they are typically 5'2" or less lol

Edited August 31, 2020 by QuietRiot