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In a relationship for almost 5 years.   We were separated by COVID and we’d felt the strain.  We agreed in a phone call to take a break from each other.  That night my now ex had completed and launched a profile saying she was looking for a new romantic relationship on an internet dating website.  Is that normal behaviour- I was gutted we’d taken a break and couldn’t believe How she reacted to our decision.   We’ve texted a couple of times since but she’s very frosty and cold so I’ve decided to have no further contact - I think that’s the right thing to do.  I strongly suspect she’s already dating other people.  People obviously react differently but I feel upset and worthless just now.   

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Blind-Sided

No words will really help, or make things better.  Breakups are never easy.  But, the reality is... you did decided to break up, and she decided to move on. 

Sorry for the situation, but things will get better. 

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You were dating for 5 years and decided during Covid to take a break, rather than progress the relationship and move in together.
That suggests a lack of commitment and with no commitment after 5 years then where else was it supposed to go apart from breaking up completely.
Your relationship took a huge backward step and she has thus moved on to pastures new.

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Emilie Jolie
2 hours ago, Neil-C37 said:

We agreed in a phone call to take a break from each other

Because of this, it's not entirely clear why you chose to put your thread in the 'cheating, flirting and jealousy' section? 

2 hours ago, Neil-C37 said:

That night my now ex had completed and launched a profile saying she was looking for a new romantic relationship on an internet dating website

How did you find this out? 

In any event, your relationship wasn't strong enough to survive the COVID break, which suggests pre-existing issues. 

It must be difficult for you to see her move in such a clinical way, though; sorry, Neil.

You can see it as her doing you a favour - she is unambiguously showing you by her actions that the relationship is fully over, with no way back. This is not a break; rather, a full-on breakup.

 

 

 

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Dating for 5 years you need to examine why in Covid you weren't willing to move in together or at least keep your circle wide enough to include each other.  If the answer is because you are college kids who have been dating since HS, that is understandable.   Your profile says you're in your 30s so again, why not temporarily live together or at least be willing to see each other?  

Breaks are not a thing, especially for adults.  There is no time out from a relationship.  You are together or you are broken up.  

Since your EX immediately went out & made a dating a profile, she's been looking for day light for a while or it was a drunken impulse.  Alone & sad, with no other rebound options, she may have just jumped on line as balm to her broken heart.  

Edited by d0nnivain
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5 years, not living together, not even a ring on her finger....I can see why and Covid is not really to blame...it only gave her time to assess the relationship and where it was going. If only a couple of months of separation made the relationship crumble apart, it was already to give way at the seams.

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