EAM19 Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 I've written on here a lot after my ex and I split up a year ago. It was really hard for me and he wasn't nice to me about it at all. Took me a very long time to get over it, in the meantime he has brought a girl on a date to where I work knowing I would be there and has been stalking my Instagram despite me deleting him. I'm speaking to someone new who I like, we aren't exclusive but also not talking to other people and like each other. Basically, I got drunk and ended up sleeping my friend, who is also friends with my ex. We both said it was a drunken mistake and not telling anyone, but was it wrong of me to do that to my ex? Despite all the crappy things hes done towards me I feel like I've somehow crossed a line. We don't talk ever and only end up seeing each other when around mutual friends but I really steer clear. I feel like I'm going to have bad karma from this or something. Especially because I do have feelings for someone else and me and the friend don't even like each other we're just friends Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 1 hour ago, EAM19 said: I've written on here a lot after my ex and I split up a year ago. It was really hard for me and he wasn't nice to me about it at all. Took me a very long time to get over it, in the meantime he has brought a girl on a date to where I work knowing I would be there and has been stalking my Instagram despite me deleting him. I'm speaking to someone new who I like, we aren't exclusive but also not talking to other people and like each other. Basically, I got drunk and ended up sleeping my friend, who is also friends with my ex. We both said it was a drunken mistake and not telling anyone, but was it wrong of me to do that to my ex? Despite all the crappy things hes done towards me I feel like I've somehow crossed a line. We don't talk ever and only end up seeing each other when around mutual friends but I really steer clear. I feel like I'm going to have bad karma from this or something. Especially because I do have feelings for someone else and me and the friend don't even like each other we're just friends You're not wrong. You have a right to be in a relationship with someone who makes you happy. Some times things don't work out and you have to move on. As long as you were honest and up front, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 The 'friend' who is friends with your ex is the one who is in the wrong. It's an unspoken rule between bros that you don't get with your friends' exes for just a fling. If any of my friends slept with any of my exes just for the fun, ie. they are not madly in love and don't want to be together for ever, they would no longer be my friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 5, 2020 Share Posted July 5, 2020 1 hour ago, EAM19 said: I Basically, I got drunk and ended up sleeping my friend, who is also friends with my ex. We both said it was a drunken mistake and not telling anyone, but was it wrong of me to do that to my ex? Despite all the crappy things hes done towards me I feel like I've somehow crossed a line. No, I don't think so at all. You don't owe your ex anything. Why are you so worried about what your ex would think about this, the guy who you are not involved with anymore and who treated you badly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EAM19 Posted July 5, 2020 Author Share Posted July 5, 2020 45 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: No, I don't think so at all. You don't owe your ex anything. Why are you so worried about what your ex would think about this, the guy who you are not involved with anymore and who treated you badly? I guess because there are a lot of mutual friends I'm worried about what they would think of me. Which stems from not feeling like some of them had my back when we broke up and he wasn't very nice to me. Which I understand is a hard situation to be in for them. But I need to not worry, its just old insecurities from the breakup where I felt alone and like he was better than me. Definitely don't feel that way now. Thank you for your perspective Link to post Share on other sites
Author EAM19 Posted July 5, 2020 Author Share Posted July 5, 2020 (edited) 50 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: The 'friend' who is friends with your ex is the one who is in the wrong. It's an unspoken rule between bros that you don't get with your friends' exes for just a fling. If any of my friends slept with any of my exes just for the fun, ie. they are not madly in love and don't want to be together for ever, they would no longer be my friend. Yeah I know that. The friend is a really good guy, we've been friends for a while and we know it was just a drunken mistake but yeah it's not my responsibility what happens in their friendship. Thank you for your perspective Edited July 5, 2020 by EAM19 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 3 hours ago, EAM19 said: I guess because there are a lot of mutual friends I'm worried about what they would think of me. Which stems from not feeling like some of them had my back when we broke up and he wasn't very nice to me. So you're worrying about what people will think.... people who are not really your friends, if they made you feel like they didn't have your back through your breakup. You can't live your life worrying about what people will think. Just focus on who your real friends are, how YOU feel about the choices you've made, and what you can learn from your mistakes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeeEater Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/5/2020 at 4:06 PM, EAM19 said: I've written on here a lot after my ex and I split up a year ago. It was really hard for me and he wasn't nice to me about it at all. Took me a very long time to get over it, in the meantime he has brought a girl on a date to where I work knowing I would be there and has been stalking my Instagram despite me deleting him. I'm speaking to someone new who I like, we aren't exclusive but also not talking to other people and like each other. Basically, I got drunk and ended up sleeping my friend, who is also friends with my ex. We both said it was a drunken mistake and not telling anyone, but was it wrong of me to do that to my ex? Despite all the crappy things hes done towards me I feel like I've somehow crossed a line. We don't talk ever and only end up seeing each other when around mutual friends but I really steer clear. I feel like I'm going to have bad karma from this or something. Especially because I do have feelings for someone else and me and the friend don't even like each other we're just friends You’re human! This stuff happens. It won’t give you bad karma. It wasn’t anything you maliciously did. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 You don't owe your EX anything. If you & this friend agree it was a drunken mistake & you both keep your mouths shut about what happened, you should be fine. You are both consenting adults free to have sex with anybody you want. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 On 7/5/2020 at 4:06 PM, EAM19 said: has been stalking my Instagram despite me deleting him. you need to block him. Deleting does nothing to stop them from viewing your content, unless you get a charge out of seeing him liking your stuff on IG. On 7/5/2020 at 4:06 PM, EAM19 said: but was it wrong of me to do that to my ex? the operative word in that sentence is "ex". Your ex no longer is entitled to your fidelity. Is the new guy and the guy you slept with the same man or different men? If they're different men, how long between the time you had sex with the friend and when you met the new guy? I agree with Mystery--the one who is wrong is the friend of your ex. He's opportunistic and probably doesn't like your ex that much if it was no big deal for him to have sex with his boy's girl. Link to post Share on other sites
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