d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Juha said: My question is why are you so insecure? She's not insecure. She's keeping her eye on a situation that is a slippery slope from colleagues to an affair. The girl co-worker is crossing boundaries but the BF doesn't see it. The co-worker is setting up situations where it would be so easy for them to be alone, just talking & suddenly they are kissing & both claim it just happened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Juha said: My question is why are you so insecure? She is not insecure, she is reacting to the situation where her bf is "entertaining" his female coiworker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 6 hours ago, Juha said: My question is why are you so insecure? You'd have the same reaction if this was happening to you and your partner was gaslighting you about what was falling out in experience at your feet. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 (edited) Can’t it be just friends. You all seem to be ok if the gf or wife was working with a male coworker. It is hilarious how your point of view changes with gender. Edited July 12, 2020 by usa1ah Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 (edited) Hannah, my sister went through something very close to what you are. There was a coworker that was bringing her first husband meals at work. She divorced him about 3 months later. It really looks like Sara is after your bf from my point of view. I just don’t know what your bf is thinking at the time. You really need to talk with him about this and that you are not comfortable with this individual. There are just certain people that make the gut feeling go off the chart. Talk with your boyfriend about this. Edited July 12, 2020 by usa1ah 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali4Dude Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 I have a somewhat different take on this. She may be nothing more than a 'work wife' to him, even if she wants more or has a crush on him. I have had this situation in the past where I had a great connection with a member of the opposite sex, and we were very much like a married couple at work. I even thought of her as attractive, but I NEVER thought about crossing the line with her especially since I was dating someone at the time. The thing I did to ease concerns (which your BF should do if he respects you) is to talk about YOU to her a lot and make sure that you two know each other. There is no better way to put your partner at ease than to make it clear that you want the two of them to be comfortable around each other. When she got married years later and I met her sister for the first time, I could tell by her reaction that my work wife had had a crush on me (a harmless one but flattering none the less). We are still friends to this day and I regularly give her references for a job, see pics of her baby and have met her husband. Men and women should be able to be friends without fear of their partners getting too jealous even if a little crushing is going on. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 21 hours ago, Cali4Dude said: have had this situation in the past where I had a great connection with a member of the opposite sex and we were very much like a married couple. Thats not OK dude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali4Dude Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/16/2020 at 5:57 PM, JTSW said: Thats not OK dude. Did you read the rest of my post? To clarify, we were like a married couple in the way that we got along and sought each other's counsel on various topics. It is quite common in the workplace and does not involve sexual attraction necessarily. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 On 7/20/2020 at 7:03 PM, Cali4Dude said: Did you read the rest of my post? To clarify, we were like a married couple in the way that we got along and sought each other's counsel on various topics. It is quite common in the workplace and does not involve sexual attraction necessarily. You should only have that kind of connection with your significant other. What you're saying is still bit ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluesandy Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) mmm be careful, it started like that with my LT ex-wife, and our sex live was the same as usual, no decrease... I didn't see it coming... She even compared her ex colleague once with me telling me we were alike a lot... It last 2 years like that, and one day she told me she had to leave me for him... he was married as well... So be careful with all these flags.. Only way to find out... No jealousy but may be check out the phone as you can, and sometimes try to pass by the place where there are supposed to be without notice.. One thing to know is usually works affairs don't last a lot.... after 4 months, he beat my ex-wife and that separated. She regretted her move after all, but the damages were done and my family broken... Edited August 11, 2020 by Bluesandy 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 On 7/20/2020 at 11:03 AM, Cali4Dude said: Did you read the rest of my post? To clarify, we were like a married couple in the way that we got along and sought each other's counsel on various topics. It is quite common in the workplace and does not involve sexual attraction necessarily. But in your case you said you and her both were attracted to each other/ she having a crush on you..... that is the point everyone here is making. You both were feeding off that emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 12:36 PM, Bluesandy said: mmm be careful, it started like that with my LT ex-wife, and our sex live was the same as usual, no decrease... I didn't see it coming... She even compared her ex colleague once with me telling me we were alike a lot... It last 2 years like that, and one day she told me she had to leave me for him... he was married as well... So be careful with all these flags.. Only way to find out... No jealousy but may be check out the phone as you can, and sometimes try to pass by the place where there are supposed to be without notice.. One thing to know is usually works affairs don't last a lot.... after 4 months, he beat my ex-wife and that separated. She regretted her move after all, but the damages were done and my family broken... That's why some sacrifice a whole marriage/family/friends....they are chasing that dopamine rush...like hereon, they cheat, lie, and quit their life, their common sense is totally out the window. Just like a drug addiction, they lose all sense of who they are. So sorry this happened to you. Not sure if intervening would have made any difference. It has happened quite a bit in my company. Some ended up in happy marriages, some didn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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