Fearing_10 Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Hello, my name is Joseph. I have been a long time reader on this forum (since 2013.) This forum has helped me through a lot of pain and was able to get me out of deep depression. I really hate to admit this but I am back on this depression. This is my introduction so I will try to keep it short. I will share my full story on a later date. My depression came back because of a (surprise, surprise) break up. I know I am the billionth person to say this but I really love her. We were together for close to 4 years. I can't control how I feel. After close to a year of endless torture and trying to get her back, I decided to do no contact. As much as I told myself that it was for me, again I hate to admit, it was to get her back. I checked my phone every single day hoping that I could at least see her name. Even a simple hello would have been okay. But as days turned to months, I somewhat began to feel better and work on myself. Today has been exactly 3 months since she last contacted me. And today, she deleted the one social media that I had somewhat of contact with her. It just opened up a wound that was close to healing. It just feels like not only the door is closed, but now its locked. So even if I wanted break down and break no contact, I have no way to do so. I am broken. I am lost. I am in so much pain. It has been months since I can remember being happy. All I need is support. Please, I DON'T want advice or being told I should move on. I don't need insults that I am weak. I just need encouraging words, or positive stories through you or others experience that can at least help me or anyone going through the same situation feel an ounce of happiness. This is life or death for me. I appreciate your guys' time. God bless. -Joseph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 I'm sorry you are still in pain. However, her finally closing that final door is a good thing. It will help you move on. Having that social media kept you in touch on some level & prevented you from moving on Think of your broken heart like a cut on your arm. You bled for a while, then you scabbed over. Every day of that year you wasted begging her to come back, every time you look at your phone hoping to see her name & every time you looked at that social media you were ripping the scab off your broken heart, causing it to bleed again & preventing yourself from healing. Part of healing & moving on involves accepting it is over. While you are still holding out hope, you can't grieve the loss of your relationship or go through the steps you need to take to move forward. If you haven't already get rid of all the mementos. Throw 'em out or box 'em up & store them in the deepest darkest reaches of your attic. Rearrange your living space so you no longer have visuals of her in your house / room. Shake up your life -- take up a new hobby, get a side hustle, exercise, cut your hair, what you do doesn't matter as long as it's different. Meanwhile surround yourself with supportive friends & family. You are stronger then you know. It will suck a little while longer before it gets better. You think you are back at square one but you are further down the road of healing then you think. It's just now time to embrace acceptance. Hang in there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 I m 27 been In love twice, and both times my partner left for another man. And both time I was heartbroken cried like a bitch but if you follow the no contact stay positive life gets back to track each day slowly. If I remember correctly this time I took 3 months to feel myself and realize the girl I love is gone. Yes as told above part of moving on is accepting its over and give up hope that the dumpee will changes its mind. You should not blame yourself its human nature and we all do that. Its sucks but it's TRUE. Be easy on yourself. Telling yourself over and over again that you are depressed and her leaving you doesnt help wont do anything for you. You need psychological help maybe, you need to decide if its clinical depression. Take rest from daily life and go on a vacation. Talk about your feelings too people. People whom you trust. Heartbreaks are always difficult, but good thing is it heals over time just like any physical injury. Moreover it's a part of life, just like birth and death. Let her go, she wasnt yours man. Sometimes people go apart. As everything is changing constantly this s***ty phase will change too, you'll be happy again someday. Stay positive, one day at a time slow and steady. Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Ye sorry to hear bro my own story I broke up now 4 yrs ago and I still miss her sometimes think about her alot to the point where I've considered counseling as this one's taking way too long to forget about her. I'm not in pain but still there is love and it probably has to be a record for me getting someone out if my head. Apart from my ex wife this one's taking a long time so I know how you feel ...love really can hurt for a long time might I add Link to post Share on other sites
Jaynee Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 It's so s***! I'm going through the same right now, I just broke my no contact rule and im kicking myself now because he was horrible and disinterested. It takes so long to feel better it's relentless. Letting go of the hope is the worst thing and the hardest to do. It's easy for people to say things get better, but when you are heartbroken it doesn't seem like it. x Link to post Share on other sites
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