JolliX Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 So, before I dated my most recent ex, I was quite content and happy with my weekends that were often spent alone. I had things that I really enjoyed doing by myself, and I have good friends to spend time with when I wanted to be around people. In addition, I volunteered a lot. While dating my most recent ex, we shared so many interests that we were spending each weekend together doing all my normal alone thing together, and for the most part I really enjoyed it (there were a few times I missed some of my alone time). Now that I am single again, I am not sure I want all the free time I am going to have. I still have all my friends, but they have lives and are busy so while I can hang with them some, demanding their time isn't the answer (nor one I think would solve anything). Volunteering is difficult, as the things i enjoy volunteering for most are events that have me interacting with lots of peoples. These types of events occupy me, exhaust me, and leave me feeling accomplished. So with this in mind I want to go on dates. Also difficult, as it has always been difficult to find dates, and with how things are now that is even more so. I would be lying if I said that I don't want to find that special someone, but overall, I just want a fun date and someone to talk to. Going about finding dates seems rough. Dating sites/apps don't seem to work well (they are how I got the ex, which while there was lots great about her, she was a serial monogamist that wasn't dealing with her issues), so I am at a loss of how to achieve this. Second dilemma: Here is two weeks I have a full week off of work. It has been a while since I've had a full week off, and the s*** part was that this week was going to be a vacation with the ex (obviously not now). I'm hoping that in two weeks time I will feel much better with the recent breakup, but that week off I am afraid will be rough (see above about alone time). I want to accomplish stuff during this week (learning, exercising, etc.), but I am not convinced that will be enough as I don't want ALL alone time. So, how should I stay motivated and combat 9 days (2 weekends and a work week) of time by myself? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 12 minutes ago, JolliX said: So, how should I stay motivated and combat 9 days (2 weekends and a work week) of time by myself? Home improvement project?? Paint a room a different color or just one wall as an accent wall. Spring cleaning your home. Rent a Rug Doctor or similar carpet cleaning machine. Detailing your car. Wash, wax, scrub the interior, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JolliX Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 I don't have my own home for improvement projects, but between submitting my post and now, i found out that a friend needs helping removing a deck that week, so it turns out I have one of those projects now. Lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 (edited) Unfortunately your gonna have to accept your own company as apposed to Finding someone to fill the void. That in itself needs to be addressed as it's all about self love too before moving on to sharing your life with someone otherwise co-depandancy could become an issue. It's just a period of adjustment like when you been on holidays and come back to work for the first week eventually you settle in. Not the end of the world bro you'll adjust Edited July 11, 2020 by Goodguy05 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Helping with the deck sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Reach out for another friend or two & schedule something with them too so you have evening events. Do exercise & whatever other learning you had planned. Give yourself some down time fun too. In lockdown it's not easy to keep yourself busy but it sounds like you have a good start Link to post Share on other sites
Author JolliX Posted July 12, 2020 Author Share Posted July 12, 2020 I am getting things planned and together now. I have been going to a gym (I started going while in the relationship, but I go a little more now), joined a Title Boxing Club with a friend (more exercise and some chance to be social), Have found a couple places around my city to put in apps for volunteering, and have been reconnecting with friends that I haven't talked with much lately. The only thing I'm having a tough time with is self learning (learning something on my own) because I cannot focus at the moment when I am by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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