TylerMc Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) Thank you everyone it’s been a month and ive made every mistake in the book till i seeked advice online i did a letter sent a video we met up spoke it out an her decision didn’t change but i still sent a text every few days to which i got no response and yesterday after everything i sent a voice note saying i still love and miss her which not no response too but i know now its time to let go and move on as i cant keep trying Its damaging both of us probably. I know now she couldn’t see me in a any worse light as I’ve made every mistake blaming myself for the break up even tho she walked away in lockdown. Times are tough but thanks to everyone on here who’s give advice and i know i haven’t  done the right things to win her back but i can rest knowing I've tried Even if it has pushed her away completely. Indefinite no contact is starting today as ive broke it numerous times in the space of 3 weeks. Thank you everyone for getting me through the hardest time in my life so far. If they walk away let them go guys  also if anyone has done the same as me feel free to let me know so we can suck together 😂 Edited July 10, 2020 by TylerMc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Don't be too hard on yourself, OP. You're human, and we all do things that later make us cringe. But we can learn a lot from such moments, and let that propel us forward into making positive changes. In a few months, you'll feel much better.  Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerMc Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Don't be too hard on yourself, OP. You're human, and we all do things that later make us cringe. But we can learn a lot from such moments, and let that propel us forward into making positive changes. In a few months, you'll feel much better.  Exactly thank you man, my therapist said I’m extremely hard on myself But i know why now. Coming to terms with all of it slowly Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Just now, TylerMc said: Exactly thank you man, my therapist said I’m extremely hard on myself But i know why now. Coming to terms with all of it slowly Ha, it's woman, actually! But you're welcome. Most us have been where you are, at some point in our lives to a certain extent. It gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerMc Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Ha, it's woman, actually! But you're welcome. Most us have been where you are, at some point in our lives to a certain extent. It gets better. Sorry 😂 ye im not alone luckily. Time will heal Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) @TylerMc A lot of people, including myself have done things like this so don't sweat it.  I've done embarrassing things in my life which is how I learned and became better for it.  So although we advise you, ultimately you needed to do what you needed to do, to know for sure, you did everything you could do...and now you do. With it comes some wisdom which you will add to your wisdom, making you a wiser person in the future. That means, this was not a waste. Good on you. Going forward though, don't contact her again.  Its a huge detriment to ones well-being, trying to chase and beg someone who has willingly decided they do not want to be a part of our life. Just remember, if what you two shared all this time, wasn't enough to convince her to stay and you did all you could do to keep her, and she still chose to leave, then you've done everything you can do and its out of your hands. Unless you did something horrible like physically abused her, mentally run her down or cheat on her..don't blame yourself. There are many factors that go into a person's decision to walk away and most of them have very little to do with you as person and a boyfriend. They have more to do with her, what she's been through in her life and how she feels about it. All of this impacts what she desires and as a result, what she chooses to do. That includes what she's looking for in a partner. Try as you might, there is very little control you have over those things. Go easy on yourself and stay strong - Beach  Edited July 10, 2020 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerMc Posted July 10, 2020 Author Share Posted July 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Beachead said: @TylerMc A lot of people, including myself have done things like this so don't sweat it.  I've done embarrassing things in my life which is how I learned and became better for it.  So although we advise you, ultimately you needed to do what you needed to do, to know for sure, you did everything you could do...and now you do. With it comes some wisdom which you will add to your wisdom, making you a wiser person in the future. That means, this was not a waste. Good on you. Going forward though, don't contact her again.  Its a huge detriment to ones well-being, trying to chase and beg someone who has willingly decided they do not want to be a part of our life. Just remember, if what you two shared all this time, wasn't enough to convince her to stay and you did all you could do to keep her, and she still chose to leave, then you've done everything you can do and its out of your hands. Unless you did something horrible like physically abused her, mentally run her down or cheat on her..don't blame yourself. There are many factors that go into a person's decision to walk away and most of them have very little to do with you as person and a boyfriend. They have more to do with her, what she's been through in her life and how she feels about it. All of this impacts what she desires and as a result, what she chooses to do. That includes what she's looking for in a partner. Try as you might, there is very little control you have over those things. Go easy on yourself and stay strong - Beach  Great words! Appreciate them thank you Beach Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 (edited) Yep did this the first time I fell in love it's not a bad thing and kinda I believe helps you find closure in some way because you know you've tried everything and then you truly do give up whereas when you just go cold turkey and do NC it lingers somewhat no right or wrong accept for the pain you feel each time you reach out and yrs later you wish you had never behaved that way. Even when you go NC right from the get go it then feels like unfinished business. Being dumped is the hardest thing your mind will ever experience because of the rejection aspect. Being in love 4 times now over a span of 28 yrs and being dumped those 4 times the experience teaches you there is not much you can do and that guide they have on here about NC pretty much nails it. The long term tho well for me has left scars and changed your behaviour. The one thing you become better at is you act more on your gut feeling and intuition and really listen to it. After the fourth go round now when I spot a red flag I can walk away instead of being seduced by beauty. That's about it lol Edited July 11, 2020 by Goodguy05 Link to post Share on other sites
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